One Directioners rejoice! The music video for their latest single "Midnight Memories" is out, and I have no idea what the song, or the video is about. But looking at just five GIFs grabbed from the new music video, plus my terrible memory, I attempt to figure it out.
Prior to writing this post, I have not watched the video and not read any reviews or tweets about its release on Friday. I also haven't seen anything in the past about the behind-the-scenes shenanigans, how it was made and so forth. In addition to that, I haven't listened to the song in quite a while. Even then, I probably haven't heard it in its entirety. Ever. The only lyrics I can remember are the boys yelling "midnight memories"—which doesn't get me anywhere—and that its an overall upbeat, rockin' song.
I'm assuming our GIF-master Paul sent me these in sequential order, so let's start:
Ok, so it's nighttime, possibly on or close to "midnight," and poor Louis is in that awful situation when people blatently make out in the middle of a party. He's none too pleased, and his hair is scared stiff of this couple. Doesn't look like a cool party since it's not very crowded and people are playing beer pong behind him. Plus, his red cup is so tiny! You're gonna need a much bigger one to enjoy yourself, Louis. But kudos on the Stone Roses T-shirt.
Niall is having a way better time, having his own makeout session with some sketchy-looking shawarma. Clearly this is the better party. I wonder how many takes they did and how much shawarma he had to eat. Did they just have 20 brand new shawarma spits ready to go? There was probably some poor production assistant with a bucket Niall spit into. To be honest, I'm getting a little nauseous looking at this GIF. I guess this is his midnight memory? This seems like the kind of memory your friends or the cops have to recollect for you in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie, this looks like someone cut a real stinker with Liam downwind. And I guarentee you for my own experience interviewing the boys, Zayn would totally spray you with a fire extinguisher, laughing maniacally. This is not a good midnight memory.
This GIF freaks me out. It looks like some kind of hypnotizing cult ceremony. And if you focus on just their mouths, it looks like they're nutcrackers or sock puppets or something. Are those Dyson vacuums? Segways? Oh, they're those motorized wheelchair things. If they jump on the grandmas' backs and zoom through the tunnel of fireworks behind them, that would make a good midnight memory. But four scooters to five members? My guess is that Louis and Zayn would double up.
How awesome would it be if they all jumped from the bridge as onlooks shriek, but they're secretly wearing wires and give everyone the finger like Alicia Silverstone in Aerosmith's "Cryin'" video? I bet no One Direction fans are old enough to remember that. It was awesome, trust me.
Alright: Having seen these five GIFs, I can conclude that this video is about creating memories, at midnight. I'm a genius. Although the memories don't seem that interesting, but when you're running around at night in your late teens, these really are the moments you'll cherish for a lifetime. Some of my best midnight memories were when my friends and I sat in a car, prank calling the same friend night after night. He always answered the blocked calls, and never got angry. What is wrong with him? That would make a terrible music video, but I have the utmost nostalgia for it.
Let's see how well I did, going to watch the video now:
I wasn't too far off. Could never have guessed the police boat trip. What confuses me is that they're at a house party with young people and no one likes them or recognizes them, yet the policeman asks for their autograph. Maybe they're trying to get the lucrative middle-aged white dude demographic?
And definite cliffhanger to end with them precariously poised on the edge of the Tower Bridge. Maybe the next video will be about same police boat searching for their bodies in the River Thames, and the wrongful termination case by that police officer. We can only hope.