In Case You Were Wondering, Kylie Jenner Is Not Pregnant

Kylie Jenner: a not pregnant person (Getty Images)
Kylie Jenner: a not pregnant person (Getty Images)

Here's a rule that generally goes with being a functioning person in society: You should never assume a woman is pregnant unless she has told you in clear, non-elusive language (that "bundle of joy" could be her puppy) or posted a photo of her sonogram on Facebook (that protruding belly could be a burrito bump). So, with that in mind, don't assume Kylie Jenner is pregnant. (Also: Were you even assuming that to begin with?!)

But in the event that you've recently fallen victim to a marathon of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and are currently on the hunt for tiny waists that might be carrying small humans — that is to say, you do think Kylie Jenner may be pregnant — she has a message for you.

But it's no matter, because Kylie Jenner, Chemtrail Philosopher, cares not for what you people think. As she put it:

Ostensibly, she wants people to see cryptic(ish) Snapchats of her gorging on Popeyes chicken and overtly sexy photos.

This is apparently how Kylie Jenner wants you to view her (Instagram)
This is apparently how Kylie Jenner wants you to view her (Instagram)

Meanwhile, judging from a recent Instagram pic she posted (below) promoting her and sister Kendall's new line at PacSun, Kylie doesn't look anywhere near pregnant... moreover, she doesn't look eight months pregnant, as she suggests folks have been claiming.

Kylie Jenner — for the record — isn't pregnant (Instagram)
Kylie Jenner — for the record — isn't pregnant (Instagram)

So c'mon, people. Use your good judgment. Say what you will about Kylie — and trust us, there is plenty to be said about the 17-year-old celebrity — but don't call her pregnant. That's just mean. Plus, isn't it pretty obvious that she does not have a baby on board?