Billie Lourd Shares Emotional Tribute to Mom Carrie Fisher 7 Years After Death: 'She Is with Me Every Day'

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"As I tell my son, she lives in the stars — and she damn sure makes my life sparkle," she wrote

<p>Barry King/WireImage</p> Carrie Fisher with daughter Billie Lourd in 2015.

Barry King/WireImage

Carrie Fisher with daughter Billie Lourd in 2015.

Billie Lourd is paying tribute to her mother Carrie Fisher on the seventh anniversary of her death.

The Star Wars actress died on Dec. 27, 2016, at age 60. On Instagram Wednesday, Lourd, 31, shared a throwback photo honoring Fisher and shared how her experience with grief has changed over the years.

"It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?) Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief," she wrote. "Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once."

"This year," continued Lourd, "when I woke up I felt grateful - or griefull, if you will. Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before. It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last."

Lourd shares two kids with husband Austen Rydell, whom she married in March 2022: son Kingston, 3, and daughter Jackson Joanne, 12 months.

"Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy," the American Horror Story actress wrote in her caption. "I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing."

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Related: Billie Lourd Honors Carrie Fisher in Mother's Day Post: 'This Still Feels Like Her Day — Not Mine'

She added, "I felt my momby's presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day. The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin."

Lourd also shared how she tells her kids about their late grandmother.

"I miss her every day but the cliche is also true - she is with me every day - she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy," she wrote. "As I tell my son, she lives in the stars - and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings."

Earlier this year, Lourd accepted the Hollywood Walk of Fame star that Fisher posthumously received during an induction ceremony on May 4, aka Star Wars Day.

<p>Stefania D'Alessandro/WireImage</p> Carrie Fisher in 2013

Stefania D'Alessandro/WireImage

Carrie Fisher in 2013

Related: Mark Hamill Marks Late Carrie Fisher's 67th Birthday with Throwback Photo

“Mama, you’ve made it,” she said at the time. “My mom died six and a half years ago, and ever since, I’ve fallen deeply in love with Leia and the entire Star Wars universe. I buy every single piece of Leia merch I Leia my eyes on.”

On April 1, Lourd honored her grandmother Debbie Reynolds, who died at the age of 84 just one day after Fisher, on Dec. 28, 2016, with an Instagram photo to commemorate the late actress' birthday.

In a previous Instagram tribute to Fisher last December, Lourd talked about her mom never getting the chance to meet her husband and kids.

<p>David Livingston/Getty Images</p> Billie Lourd attends the ceremony for Carrie Fisher being honored posthumously with a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame May 4, 2023.

David Livingston/Getty Images

Billie Lourd attends the ceremony for Carrie Fisher being honored posthumously with a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame May 4, 2023.

Related: All the Ways Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher's Lives Paralleled

“My mom is not here to meet either of them and isn’t here to experience any of the magic,” Lourd wrote.

“Sometimes the magical moments can also be the hardest. That’s the thing about grief. I wish my Momby were here, but she isn’t. So all I can do is hold onto the magic harder, hug my kids a little tighter. Tell them a story about her. Share her favorite things with them. Tell them how much she would have loved them.”

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