Billie Lourd is opening up. The 25-year-old actress daughter of Carrie Fisher and Bryan Lourd spoke about the loss of her mother and her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, with Ellen DeGeneres during Tuesday’s show.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show marked her late mother’s final public appearance before her December 2016 passing.
“She always takes over any talk show in this really aggressive way, so kudos to you,” Lourd joked with the longtime host.
Declaring she has “a lot of goddesses” in her life, Lourd went on to speak about her deep loss and life afterwards.
“Yeah, it’s completely surreal. There’s no way to really explain it,” she said. “It’s so hard to talk about. I don’t know, if I say that I’m doing good, I’m too happy. And if I say that I’m not doing good, then I’m a mess. So it’s really hard to know what to say about it because it is just so surreal and impossible to deal with.”
She’s glad that she got a chance to appear alongside her mom in 2015’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
“I’m a big believer in things happening for a reason, and I think I ended up in that movie for a reason,” she said. “It was really incredible for us to get to have that experience together.”
The film marked Lourd’s first foray into the acting world, which her parents weren’t particularly keen about her entering.
“They did not want me to act at all – my dad and my mom – because they were both in the industry and saw that it’s not really the best place to want your child to go into,” she explained.
But after she enjoyed her time on set, Lourd took some advice from her mom.
“I came home and my mom said, ‘You know, this is really weird that you’re comfortable here. This is one of the most uncomfortable environments in the world. If you’re comfortable here, you should do this,’” she recalled.
Lourd went on to play Chanel #3 on Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens before switching over to the role of Winter Anderson in the new season of American Horror Story.
For more from Lourd, watch the clip below: