Billie Eilish Explains Why She Hid Her Figure Early in Her Career: 'I Didn’t Want People to Have Access to My Body'

"If I had shown it at that time, I would have been completely devastated if people had said anything," said the Grammy winner

Billie Eilish recently opened up about her decision to hide her body at the beginning of her career.

The seven-time Grammy winner wore almost exclusively wore baggy clothes for years.

“I wasn’t trying to have people not sexualize me,” the 21-year-old said in Variety’s The Power of Women issue. “But I didn’t want people to have access to my body, even visually. I wasn’t strong enough and secure enough to show it. If I had shown it at that time, I would have been completely devastated if people had said anything.”

She explained that while she has "deep connections" to women in her life and that she is "attracted" to women, she still struggles with her self-perception. "I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine," she said.

Related: Billie Eilish Opens Up About Feeling 'Attracted' to Women but 'Intimidated' by Their 'Beauty' and 'Presence'

The Academy Award winner continued to talk about how her body became a conversation in the media. Eilish — who first hit the music scene at 13 years old — notably wore a tank top when she was 16 years old which caused an ongoing public conversation. The “What Was I Made For” singer said that she began puberty at a young age and while she was used to it, the public's reaction impacted how she chose to dress.

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“I have big boobs. I’ve had big boobs since I was nine years old, and that’s just the way I am. That’s how I look,” said Eilish, who also shared in the interview that she has deep feelings for women.

“You wear something that’s at all revealing, and everyone’s like, ‘Oh, but you didn’t want people to sexualize you?’” She continued, “You can suck my ass! I’m literally a being that is sexual sometimes. Fuck you!”

Related: Billie Eilish Thinks the Message Behind Her Wardrobe Choices Is 'Miscommunicated Sometimes'

The “Ocean Eyes” singer continued to discuss the reaction to women’s bodies versus men’s bodies. “Nobody ever says a thing about men’s bodies.”

“If you’re muscular, cool. If you’re not, cool. If you’re rail thin, cool. If you have a dad bod, cool. If you’re pudgy, love it! Everybody’s happy with it. You know why? Because girls are nice,” said Eilish. “They don’t give a fuck because we see people for who they are!”

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