Bill Maher Asks When Republicans Will Use Their Safe Word to Stop ‘Mistress Covfefe’ Trump (Video)
On Friday’s “Real Time,” Bill Maher used his “New Rules” segment to call out Republicans for refusing to break with Donald Trump, comparing them to bondage fetishists who need to hurry up and use their safe word before someone — or in this case, democracy — dies.
“Now that the blue wall of silence is finally cracking, Republicans must tell us if we’ll ever see a crack in the red wall of silence,” Maher said to kick the routine off. “Yeah, that’s the solid front Republicans put on whenever Trump does something outrageous.”
To prove the point, Maher played several clips of Republicans dodging questions about the time Trump — or Attorney General Bill Barr — ordered the use of military force to clear peaceful protesters from a church near the White House so that he could hold a photo-op.
“One thing you gotta say about Republicans, they’re tight. In 2016, three Republican congressmen — Steve Scalise, and past and present majority leaders Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy — were caught on tape in what they believed was a private conversation admitting they thought Trump was on Putin’s payroll,” Maher continued. “Really. They laugh about it and then Ryan says, ‘No leaks, right? This is how we know we’re a real family here.'”
“Yeah, that’s how they are. What happens in the underground volcano lair stays in the underground volcano lair. ‘This is how we know we’re family,’ he says. ‘Crime family, sure, but a family,'” Maher said. “What I want to know now is, Is there another conversation Republicans have had in private when they agreed that there was something Trump could do that would make them stop him?”
Maher said we would likely never find out “because being Republican is all about never breaking ranks, but amongst themselves. Is there a safe word? You know what a safe word is, right? Don’t lie you freak.. You know. A safe word is an agreed upon, specific word that people engaging in rough sex use to let their partner know they’re not playing anymore and they really want it to stop.”
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“So it has to be an offbeat word that would never come up during actual sex. For example, Melania uses ‘I’m coming,'” Maher joked. “But for most garden variety freaks, it’s a word like, you know, I don’t know, ‘pineapple’. You say ‘pineapple’ so that way when the dominatrix is choking you, you don’t say, ‘stop you whore, you’re killing me.’ And she doesn’t have to say, ‘Wait, really stop or pretend stop?'”
Maher said he thinks Republicans probably have a safe word, “because any dominatrix will tell you most of her customers are successful older white guys with power and authority they know they don’t really deserve. In other words, they’re Republicans. And in Washington, they’re all enthralled to Mistress Covfefe, and his Fifty Shades of Orange.”
Maher mocked Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) as particularly deferential to Trump and added, “I want to know if there is something Fat Daddy can do that will make his Republican bottoms tap out and say ‘pineapple!'”
In 2015, Maher continued, “I would have thought it was the very first thing,” referring to Trump’s announcement that he was running for president, when he said several racist things about Mexicans. “But no. Or the next month when he said McCain wasn’t a war hero. But it was soon evident that their line was not going to be drawn on matters of behavior.”
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“Mocking the handicapped, bragging about your d— at debates, grabbing p—ies, all good,” Maher continued. “Then once in office it became apparent the line would also not be drawn at what we call norms. You know, practices so universally agreed upon to be the right thing to do that we never thought we needed to codify them into law: releasing your taxes, not putting family members in the cabinet, having press briefings, siding with Americans instead of Russians.”
But then, Maher said, Trump escalated “to breaking actual laws,” which included “not answering subpoenas, using campaign funds for hush money to mistresses, withholding foreign aid to allies and domestic aid to states for personal reasons. So we know what won’ts make Republicans say ‘pineapple.’ And I doubt when he makes Ivanka the defense secretary, or starts poisoning journalists, or literally shoots someone on Fifth Avenue, that that would do it either.”
“But now that we’re at the Julius Caesar moment here, where the republic becomes a dictatorship, with real talk about calling the military into the streets, and elections that might not count because they rigged,” Maher concluded. “Is that the stuff that will finally make Republicans say, ‘I’ll do anything for love, but I won’t do that.’ If you’ve got a safe word, Republicans, you better use it soon, because democracy is about to stop breathing.”
Watch the whole segment above.
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