The biggest WTF moments from Ambulance
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Warning: This article contains spoilers about Ambulance.
Sitting down to watch a Michael Bay movie, you generally have a good idea what you've signed up for. Total citywide devastation? Check. Explosions on top of explosions, with extra explosions thrown in for fun? Double-check. Quick cuts and slow-motion close-ups of beautiful actors in stressful situations? Absolutely. And Bay's newest shoot-em-up action movie Ambulance has all of that... and so much more.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II star in the bonkers heist thriller as two brothers battling the most formidable enemy of all: L.A. traffic. Kidding! Well, only kind of. Former marine Will Sharp (Abdul-Mateen) is down on his luck and needs a quick influx of cash to support an expensive, life-saving treatment for his wife, so he turns to his estranged (and possibly sociopathic) outlaw brother Danny (Gyllenhaal) for help. Lucky for Danny but horribly unlucky for Will, Danny's about to pull off the biggest bank robbery that L.A. has ever seen right when Will asks for help, so he ropes his brother into the plan. Of course, things go wrong immediately and the brothers steal an ambulance with an EMT (Eiza González) and injured cop (Jackson White) inside to make their escape as the LAPD and FBI chase them all across the city — through rush hour traffic, no less.
The movie is a wild thrill ride from start to finish as it delivers everything you could possibly want from a high-adrenaline Bay flick. And while suspension of disbelief is required for this kind of moviegoing experience, there were so many certifiable WTF moments that we had to round up the biggest, most shocking, and downright unbelievable.
Universal Pictures
A guy wears Birkenstock sandals to a bank robbery
We're not expert bank robbers — we only watch them onscreen — so we're not exactly sure what the best footwear is for heisting. But we definitely know the worst option. One of Danny's crack team of geniuses shows up at the bank wearing open-toed sandals. It may seem like such a laughably small detail to focus on, but even the movie calls it out when the guy in question is asked, "Who wears Birkenstocks to a bank robbery, Trent?" Yes, we'd like to know, Trent!
Unfortunately for Trent, our suspicions about his ill-advised footwear are confirmed when he immediately gets his legs crushed under an armored van and is, understandably, left to die by the rest of the crew. RIP Trent. Hope you get buried in better shoes.
Andrew Cooper/Universal Pictures Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Jake Gyllenhaal in Michael Bay's 'Ambulance'
The biggest bank heist in LA history has no escape plan
If all goes according to plan, Danny's crew would have walked away with $32 million to split. And at multiple points in the movie, we're told this is the biggest bank heist in L.A. history. But when just one thing goes wrong with the getaway car, everyone except for Danny and Will ends up getting killed in a brutal shootout with the cops, turning the streets of downtown L.A. into a war zone. The hapless brothers have to improvise a getaway plan that involves driving the titular ambulance aimlessly all over the city with no actual destination in mind.
We're supposed to believe a career criminal like Danny, who's notoriously robbed countless banks since he was a teen and learned everything he knew from his legendary criminal father, wouldn't have any kind of backup escape plan? Or how about any kind of plan at all?! Even their designated getaway car (which gets immediately obliterated the second the cops show up) had no clear hideaway destination. This might be the least thought-out plan in bank heist history for what's supposedly the biggest score of all time.
Universal Pictures
Everything goes wrong because a cop wanted a date
We need to talk about the moment when everything goes awry for Danny and Will. Because while their plans were admittedly faulty, how could they have predicted that it would all go off the rails just because a cop... wanted a date?
Danny's crew has the bank locked down with all the employees huddled on the floor out of sight from the windows. Things are going according to plan. They're only interrupted because a cop swings by on his lunch break to ask out one of the bank tellers. He's apparently got a crush on the beautiful woman who's helped him open up a savings account, but he's shy and has failed in multiple attempts to ask her out already. His more experienced partner forces him to go back inside and try again — which is why he leaves Danny (pretending to be the bank manager) no choice but to let him inside mid-robbery.
After what feels like an eternity, the cop realizes a few things about his surroundings: the bank is completely empty, there are no other tellers at the windows, the antsy "bank manager" won't stop rushing him out the door, and his crush is visibly terrified — not by his pickup lines, but by the multiple gunmen hidden right behind her.
When Officer Oblivious finally begins to realize something is amiss, all hell breaks loose. Bullets start flying, and the cop ends up in the back of the stolen ambulance with multiple gunshot wounds. But has anyone checked on that poor bank teller who was just trying to do her job? Dating in L.A. is hard enough without having to worry about getting hit on and held up at work.
Universal Pictures Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul Mateen II in 'Ambulance'
That karaoke moment mid-high-speed car chase
It's not a Bay movie unless two dudes sing in a car together, but Danny taking a mental time-out from the high-speed police pursuit while still in the middle of the high-speed police pursuit to sing some Christopher Cross was absolutely unhinged — and downright hilarious. Things were getting a little too intense during their getaway to nowhere, so Danny pops in an earbud, gives the other to Will, and the two proceed to chill out by singing "Sailing," dancing in their seats as the ambulance continues to evade cop cars and helicopters. Listen, we'd never begrudge a little car karaoke to ease rush hour traffic stress but, sirs, now is most definitely not the time.
Universal Pictures Eiza Gonzalez in Michael Bay's 'Ambulance'
The operation tutorial over video chat
There are a lot of things that can be done in an ambulance to save a patient's life on the way to the hospital. But a full-on operation to remove a ruptured spleen in the back of an ambulance during a high-speed car chase? That hasn't even been attempted on Grey's Anatomy... yet.
But Cam, the EMT, manages the impossible: getting multiple off-duty doctors on the phone in a hurry. She pulls some strings and gets several surgeons (who are on a golf course) on a video call so they can walk her through a complicated and risky procedure to save the hostage cop's life... and it somehow actually works. That's just one of the many, many insane medical procedures they pull off in the back of the moving ambulance during the chase. This ambulance really can do it all!
Andrew Cooper/Universal Pictures Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in 'Ambulance'
The ambulance never runs out of gas
Danny and Will weren't even worried that they'd have to stop for gas while driving an ambulance at high speeds all over L.A. for an entire day without stopping. It never even comes up! Where can we get a car with that kind of gas mileage?
Ambulance is now playing in theaters.
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