Who Is Bette Midler's Husband? All About Martin von Haselberg

Bette Midler and Martin von Haselberg married in 1984

Bette Midler has been married to her husband, artist Martin von Haselberg, for nearly 40 years. The two met in 1981 and, after a whirlwind romance, tied the knot in Las Vegas in 1984.

The couple had their daughter, actress Sophie von Haselberg, two years after getting married. Sophie followed in her parents’ footsteps to the entertainment world, and she married Harry J. N. Guinness in 2020.

While many might know him as Midler’s husband, von Haselberg has had several major career ventures. He was a successful performance artist and has had his art exhibited in major museums. He has also worked in the finance world.

Related: Bette Midler's Life in Pictures

Through it all, von Haselberg has remained a supportive and loving husband. In 2014, when celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary, Midler talked to PEOPLE about the key to their happy marriage. “I think the secret is giving each other a lot of lead and a lot of room and not being in each other’s faces all the time,” she said.

Midler added that patience is extremely important. Deciding to give in is “very hard,” she noted, “But sometimes you have to say, ‘It’s not worth it. The fight is not worth it. You have your way and maybe next Thursday I’ll have mine.’ Keep supporting each other. That’s hard, too.”

So who is the artist married to the Hocus Pocus actress? Here’s everything to know about Bette Midler’s husband, Martin von Haselberg.

He was born in Argentina and raised in Germany

Von Haselberg was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, but he wasn’t raised there. In a 1986 interview with the Los Angeles Times, he revealed that he was the youngest of four boys and was brought up in Germany and England. At 12, he left Germany to attend boarding school.

“I had what might be referred to as a classical upbringing,” he said. “I studied Greek, Latin and stuff like that — none of which I’ve retained. I was a terrible student. I never thought of myself as rebellious, but my teachers always seemed to — to the extent that I was asked to leave two schools.”

He is a performance artist

Just like his Tony Award-winning wife, von Haselberg also has a love for performing. He is well known as one-half of the Kipper Kids, a performance art duo with partner Brian Routh, whom he met in drama school in England.

The two created the Kipper Kids in 1970, each using the stage name Harry Kipper. The Los Angeles Times described the duo’s work as “performance art involving foodstuffs, firecrackers and a lot of whiskey.”

After years of performing together, von Haselberg and Routh each got married, and the Kipper Kids stopped performing as often. “The best way to do the Kipper Kids was when Brian and I lived together and traveled around and were constantly feeding off each other,” von Haselberg explained.

He met his wife in 1981

Midler and von Haselberg met in 1981, when they went to a concert at the Roxy, an L.A.-area club, with mutual friends, according to a 1991 interview with Vanity Fair. They ran into each other again two years later at the Lhasa Club, another L.A. venue.

“He said, ‘I don’t know if you remember me, but I met you at a show once,’ ” Midler recalled to O, the Oprah Magazine. “He took my number, but he didn’t call for two years.” After he called, they went out the next weekend.

Their marriage was a little unconventional

It was only six weeks after their first date that Midler and von Haselberg decided to take their relationship to the next level. On Dec. 16, 1984, they eloped in Las Vegas and said their “I dos” in front of an Elvis Presley impersonator. In 2021, Midler revealed on Jimmy Kimmel Live! that she was the one who proposed to von Haselberg.

Midler described their wedding as a “spur of the moment” ceremony, noting they didn’t have any photos of the event until 2008. “He got all dressed up in this suit that I was like, ‘I’m not marrying you in that suit!’ So he had to change his suit and then we went to one of the little churches and we went to get the license,” she said. “We had a tape of Nino Rota music … and we walked down the aisle.”

Related: Bette Midler Says She's Undergone 'Some Tailoring' on Her Face: 'I Do Look Fabulous'

The two lived in separate houses for at least two months after getting married. “I hardly knew him!” Midler told Vanity Fair.

Still, they knew it was right for them. In 2001, Midler told Oprah Winfrey that they quickly knew they were meant to be together. “And it was time. I was in my late 30s, and he and I both wanted to have a family,” she said. “It was romantic and not romantic at the same time.”

He is a contemporary artist

As his work with the Kipper Kids slowed down, von Haselberg turned to visual art. His solo work has been on display in venues like the Museum of Modern Art in New York City and the New Orleans Museum of Art in 2009. Recordings of his performances with Routh as the Kipper Kids have been on display at the Getty Center in L.A., the Whitney Museum of American Art in N.Y.C. and the Tate Britain in London.

In a 1986 interview with the Los Angeles Times, von Haselberg described his artistic philosophy. “Art should have a strong spiritual effect on people,” he said. “By that, I meant that it should affect them as spiritual beings," he said.

His creativity can also be seen in his home with Midler, as he designed the eclectic and colorful pool house at their home in Millbrook, New York.

Speaking to Elle Decor about the space, he said: “Neutral? One thing I hate is neutral.” He told the publication that he wanted the design to be surprising, adding: “It’s like a mullet. All business in the front, party in the back.” The unique pool house includes lacquered pink floors, beamed ceilings and bright green stripes facing the pool.

He worked in finance

Von Haselberg had a wildly different career prior to pursuing art.

“I’ve been trading commodities since before I went to drama school and did the Kipper Kids,” he told the Los Angeles Times in 1986. Von Haselberg added that he keeps his creative and wild side separate from his serious, financial life. “It doesn’t bring in business,” he said.

“The Kipper Kids were on The Gong Show once, and I lost two clients because of it,” he noted. “People take money very seriously, and when my clients entrust me with their money, they don’t want me to be frivolous or eccentric.”

He likes having different identities

Von Haselberg can call himself a performance artist, contemporary artist, actor and commodities trader, and he likes being able to have several different identities. He told the Los Angeles Times that they all work for him, saying: “If I was just a commodities trader, I’d probably be very frustrated creatively. If I was just a Kipper Kid, and did that as uncompromisingly as we’ve always done it, I wouldn’t earn any money.”

In a 1991 interview with Vanity Fair, Midler also touched on von Haselberg’s distinct career paths. As part of the Kipper Kids, von Haselberg shaved his head periodically — something Midler didn’t necessarily like. “But he does it because he loves it — he doesn’t give a s--- what I like,” she said. “This is our relationship: I can’t put him in a corner, I can’t put him in a box.”

He is a supportive husband and father

Midler’s illustrious career means she is constantly busy, and von Haselberg has often played the part of a supportive husband and father. When asked what surprised him about marrying Midler, he told the Los Angeles Times: “The amount of activity. She’s incredibly busy and is all over the place with enormous amounts of energy. I’m comfortable with it now; in fact, I like it.”

Hollywood producer Bonnie Bruckheimer, a close friend of Midler’s, told Vanity Fair that she was in awe of their relationship. “With the intensity involved in the kind of work Bette does, it’s difficult to raise a child at the same time,” Bruckheimer said. “Martin is a tremendous support system for her. He is a loving father as well as a loving husband. He shares all of her burdens. Many of us envy the kind of relationship they have been able to develop.”

Related: Bette Midler Praises Daughter Sophie von Haselberg's New Film Role: She's 'Fantastic'

Midler echoed these sentiments about their marriage with PEOPLE in 2014. When it came to raising Sophie, Midler said: “I didn’t do it by myself. My husband is probably the greatest father who ever lived. He’s fantastic. He picked up the slack when I was on the road. He taught her a foreign language. He taught her to cook.”

They have been open about their struggles

In a 2014 interview with Good Morning Britain, Midler shared that, at one point, she and von Haselberg really struggled with their relationship. The actress said they “used to fight bitterly,” but they stayed together for the sake of their daughter.

“We came to the conclusion that we wanted to raise a child, we wanted to raise a really wonderful child, we never wanted to hurt that kid in any way and we stayed together until it got better, and it did get better and it was really fascinating,” she said, per Digital Spy. “And both of us, we both look back and we just like wipe our brows and say, ‘What the hell was that?’ ”

They also discussed their dynamic with Vanity Fair. “I married the best person who wanted to marry me,” Midler said. “We are the perfect couple even though we go at it hammer and tongs. We’re solid together.”

She added that when they first got married, von Haselberg “didn’t know how to fight,” noting that they had been raised differently. “People just didn't raise their voice to each other in his world. And I only raise my voice — sometimes I astonish myself. He was not ready for that,” Midler told the outlet.

“We had a lot of trouble the first couple of years,” she added. “We had a tremendous amount of trouble. He couldn’t understand why I would get so upset about things and he couldn’t retaliate. But it’s all kind of evened out now.”

Of their wedding, von Haselberg added: “Even though I didn’t know her at all, I remember consciously making the decision that no matter what happens I’m going to keep working at this to make it work. Even if it turns out that she’s not the person I think she might be, I’m just going to keep going through it and making it work.”

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