Bethenny Frankel Says She 'Did Not Want to Have Sex' with Jason Hoppy During Marriage: 'I Used to Force Myself'

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The 'Real Housewives of New York City' star claimed Hoppy would tell her, "You're like a block of ice"

Noel Vasquez/Getty Jason Hoppy and Bethenny Frankel
Noel Vasquez/Getty Jason Hoppy and Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel is continuing to pull back the curtain on her failed marriage to Jason Hoppy.

The Real Housewives of New York City alum launched a new podcast called Just B Divorced with Bethenny Frankel, in which she tells the untold story of her 10-year divorce nightmare. And in the latest episode, published on Tuesday, April 16, Frankel explained that things got so bad in their relationship that their sex life suffered.

"We were laying in bed and he used to say to me, ‘You’re like a block of ice' because I did not want to be intimate, I did not want to have sex," Frankel, 53, said.

"I did not respect him. I did not want to have sex at all," she continued. "He used to say to me, ‘It feels like this bed is like a block of ice.’"

When they did have sex, Frankel said she wasn't doing it willingly. "I used to force myself, gag myself doing it," she noted. "It was torture."

PEOPLE has reached out to Hoppy for comment.

Raymond Hall/GC Images; Turgeon-Steffman / Splash Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy
Raymond Hall/GC Images; Turgeon-Steffman / Splash Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy

Related: Bethenny Frankel Admits Ignoring 'Red Flags' Before Marrying Ex Jason Hoppy: ‘I Wanted to Be Wanted’

Frankel and Hoppy, 53, met in 2008 at a bar called Tenjune in New York City's meatpacking district. The pair got married in a lavish televised wedding in 2010, and welcomed daughter Bryn shortly after.

In a previous podcast episode, Frankel said she wasn't exactly interested in Hoppy to begin with.

"There wasn't really an attraction for me. It was more of, like, something in my mind...where I convince myself or I tell myself or I use logic to say to myself that I should be into this," she recalled, sharing that at the time, she was living alone in her small apartment without much money and felt the pressure of adhering to society's unspoken timeline. "I let the universe tell me that I was in my late thirties and that you're supposed to be having kids by then, or you're supposed to know what road you're on. I didn't really have family, so I had no safety net, no security with money and no idea. And I just wanted to be wanted."

Though "there were moments" of their relationship "being good," those "were very fleeting," she said. Once she got pregnant with Bryn — and their wedding and marriage was set to be followed on a RHONY spinoff seriesFrankel knew there was no going back.

"I'm not blaming anyone else — my body, my own choice," Frankel said. "[But] once I got pregnant, I was on the road. And once you're doing a television show, you feel responsible. ... I was not happy in my relationship. I kept going because I was doing a television show and I was very stupid."

Related: Bethenny Frankel Says Her 10-Year Divorce Was ‘More Torturous' Than Death: ‘I Thought I Would Never Survive It’

<p>Bravo</p> Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy


Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy

Related: Bethenny Frankel Shares Why She Felt 'Relieved' When She Had a Miscarriage During Jason Hoppy Marriage

As things continued to progress downward in their romance, Frankel got pregnant again. She miscarried at six weeks — a loss she said on her podcast gave her the courage to finally take "the first step" to confronting Hoppy about the her unhappiness with their marriage.

"In a constructive way, I said, 'I'm kind of relieved...because I don't think this is a healthy or positive relationship,'" she remembered telling him. But he didn't see it that way, according to Frankel: "He said to me, 'You're a real piece of s---, you know that?'"

Hoppy wound up moving out of their shared home to a hotel for a couple of nights, which Frankel explained was "a total relief."

Things turned ugly soon after. They announced their separation in December 2012 and filed for divorce in January 2013, with the pair being stuck in messy court proceedings and a years-long custody battle. They had reached a financial settlement in 2016, though their divorce wasn't finalized until January 2021.

A year later, Hoppy was arrested after she accused him of stalking and harassing her. Frankel also claimed he taunted and harassed her during FaceTime calls she made to their daughter, and alleged he would send “abusive emails” where he “mocked” her and made her feel unwelcome at events he would throw for their child. Hoppy denied all allegations and agreed to a plea deal that dismissed the case after a six-month order of protection that Hoppy was required to comply with.

<p>Bravo</p> Jason Hoppy and Bethenny Frankel


Jason Hoppy and Bethenny Frankel

Frankel is expected to share more about her divorce journey in future episodes.

The Skinnygirl founder has said the experience left her with "massive trust issues" and "post traumatic stress disorder," pointing to it as one of the reasons she doesn't want to marry fiancé Paul Bernon.

"I'm not sure if I would ever get married again or ever be legally bound to someone for anything other than a business contract," said Frankel. "It just is insane to me in many ways."

"I've been burned, she added. "I have been through a f---ing war, a war. I have questioned myself as a human, as a parent, because I was told so many times how terrible I was, and disgusting, and old, and irrelevant. ... had no power to get out of it. ... This was this was mental and emotional torture, what I went through. ... It was literally the most traumatizing thing that I will hopefully ever go through in my life."

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Just B Divorced with Bethenny Frankel is now streaming wherever podcasts can be found.

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