Downton Abbey has never lacked for witty one-liners.
With the arrival of a Downton Abbey film in theaters, in addition to the stunning costumes, the staggeringly opulent houses, and the love stories we can’t get enough of, we were eager for new quips from the pen of Julian Fellowes. Would we get to watch Violet eviscerate someone with a single, well-timed bon mot and a quirk of her head? Would Lady Edith call Lady Mary something even more delicious than a “bitch”? Would Lady Mary say something so snobbish it hurts?
Turns out the Downton Abbey movie more than delivers when it comes to great dialogue — and we’ve rounded up the best lines. It goes without saying that if you don’t want things to be spoiled, stop reading now.
The best lines from the Downton Abbey movie:
“Will you have enough clichés to get you through the visit?” —Violet (Maggie Smith), needling Isobel about the impending royal visit
“If not, I’ll come to you.” —Isobel (Penelope Wilton), dishing it right back
“Machiavelli is frequently underrated. He had many qualities.” —Violet
“So did Caligula — not all of them charming.” —Isobel
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” —Violet
“A shy royal? Is that an oxymoron?” —Lord Grantham (Hugh Bonneville)
“I am an expert in every matter.” —Violet, telling us all what we already knew
“Royal women are not meant to grin like Cheshire cats.” —Violet
“The day has dawned and the weather proves conclusively that God is a monarchist.” —Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery), commenting on the sudden sunshine after a storm the day of a royal parade
“I never argue, I explain.” —Violet
“I won’t dislike it. I’ll lick the stamps myself.” —Violet, offering to help send correspondence between Branson and a new love interest to ensure an inheritance stays in the family
“You are the future of Downton.” —Violet telling Mary that Downton is now in her very capable hands (okay, so this one’s not funny, but it really hit us in the feels)
Downton Abbey is now in theaters.