Best Celebrity Big Brother moments: from ‘I’m claustrophobic, Darren!’ to ‘David’s dead’

After the successful relaunch of reality TV juggernaut Big Brother last autumn, it was only ever going to be a matter of time before the show’s celebrity spin-off made a comeback. Lo and behold, six months later, Celebrity Big Brother is returning to our screens: a brand new series kicks off on ITV on 4 March, more than five years after it bowed out on Channel 5.

Right now, a dozen or so famous(ish) faces will be laying low, preparing for their big debut during Monday night’s live show. The “leaked” line-up reportedly includes the likes of former X Factor duo Louis Walsh and Sharon Osbourne, erstwhile This Morning presenter Fern Britton and Strictly Come Dancing pro Nikita Kuzmin, along with the Princess of Wales’ uncle Gary Goldsmith (We’re still in the realms of speculation, with no names officially confirmed).

Entering the CBB house was always a sign that a star’s career wasn’t exactly in rude health; it was often a last-ditch attempt to claw back some goodwill from the public. And often, that attempt backfired. During its years on air, Celebrity Big Brother has been hit by controversy after controversy, from the racism row in season five to “Punchgate” in season 22, which became the most complained about TV incident of the decade.

But amid the scandals, there have been plenty of sillier moments too, bringing us the best kind of reality TV chaos: the sort of high-camp scenes and quotes that become part of the pop culture lexicon, destined to be shared as memes for years and years to come.  From Gemma Collins’ claustrophobia to Chantelle Houghton gamely pretending to be part of a made-up girl band, here are some of the best.

Gemma Collins’ entire CBB stint (season 17)

Bigger stars have graced the Celebrity Big Brother house with their presence, and probably commanded a higher appearance fee to match, but the producers’ all-time best investment was hiring Gemma Collins in 2016. During her 29 days in the house, the high-maintenance TOWIE star and ultimate hun generated more unforgettable quotes than most reality stars notch up in a lifetime.

Remember the Diary Room meltdown when she claimed the hair straighteners in the house had “frazzled” her “very expensive hair”? (Her housemates eventually had to sacrifice their hot water so she could finally get a blow dry.) Or when she screamed “I’m claustrophobic, Darren!” at West End star Darren Day as he tried to reason with her? How about her immortal response to being dragged into another task, telling her housemates she was “gamed out, I’m sick of playing games!” while lying in bed? The GC set the bar for every CBB housemate since – she and her bizarre one-liners are yet to be bettered.

Ann Widdecombe versus hair straighteners (season 21)

Speaking of hair straighteners, it wasn’t just Collins who suffered a bad hair day during her time in the CBB house. While attempting to give her bob a bit of a re-style with a pair of straighteners, former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe was caught on camera systematically failing to use them properly, repeatedly missing the segments of hair she’d carefully sectioned out. And when she did somehow manage to actually clamp the hair between the ceramic plates, the effect was pretty underwhelming. It was perhaps the only time Widdecombe has ever managed to be a tiny bit relatable.

Tiffany Pollard and the “old maiden type of shoes” (season 17)

Every reality diva needs her nemesis, and for Gemma Collins, that arch-enemy came in the form of US TV star Tiffany Pollard. Their feud came to a head over a pair of Dolce & Gabbana heels that Collins had given to Pollard when she first arrived in the house: the GC eventually decided that she’d be taking them back, actually, and made matters worse by telling her housemate that the shoes should only be worn by a “beautiful woman”.

Cue an unforgettable – and expletive ridden – Diary Room rant from Pollard, in which she memorably branded the heels in question as “old maiden type of shoes” before turning Collins’ insult back around to skewer her. “She said that those shoes were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman,” she mused. “So if that is the case she should have put them back on the rack [...] she was unqualified to own those shoes if that’s the case.” Savage and devastating, it’s a monologue every drama school student should have to attempt.

“David’s dead” (season 17)

As the world mourned David Bowie in January 2016, the Celebrity Big Brother house was gripped by the reality TV misunderstanding to end all misunderstandings. Producers summoned his ex-wifeAngie Bowie to the Diary Room to break the news of the beloved musical icon’s death; when she emerged, the first person she told was housemate Tiffany Pollard. Hearing the words “David’s dead”, Pollard jumped to conclusions: their fellow contestant David Gest had been ill earlier that day, leading her to assume that he’d passed away in the CBB bedroom. Cue screaming and mass hysteria among the very confused celebs, who rushed in to ascertain whether Gest was in fact still alive (he was). It was a real tragi-comedy of errors – and one that lives on in the cultural memory. So far it’s notched up more than four million views on YouTube; last year, Big Brother host Emma Willis admitted that when she bumps into fans, this is the moment they always mention.

Jackie Stallone makes her entrance (season three)

There are awkward run-ins with your in-laws, and then there’s this. Five days into the third season of Celebrity Big Brother, Jackie Stallone, the mother of Rambo star Sylvester, strolled into the CBB house, wearing a massive white fur coat – much to the surprise of actor Brigitte Nielsen, who had been married to Sly in the Eighties. “Oh my god, Jackie!” Nielsen gasps, her discomfort probably magnified by the fact that she was wearing a wimple as part of a medieval-themed task. “Yeah, Jackie,” a completely unperturbed Stallone drawled in response. Stallone’s arrival rattled Nielsen so much that she initially requested to leave, but the pair ended up patching up their relationship during their time on the show.

Kandy Floss with a ‘K’ (season four)

What better way to shake up the CBB format a few seasons in than by sneaking in a housemate who isn’t famous – but must convince the celebs that she’s one of them? Model and Paris Hilton lookalike Chantelle Houghton was the show’s token “normal” person, and had to pretend to her new housemates that she was one fifth of a made-up girl band, Kandy Floss (spelt with a K, obviously). What better way to make them believe the lie than by performing one of her “songs”, “I Want It Right Now”, singing along a thrown-together backing track with a very rudimentary grasp of the lyrics?

Somehow, the ruse worked, although Big Brother eventually revealed her identity a few days into her stint in the house. The whole stunt was a brilliantly self-aware riposte to the cries of “Never heard of ‘em!” that inevitably follow every CBB line-up. Plus Houghton would end up becoming a celebrity of sorts, after winning the show and falling for housemate and Ordinary Boys frontman Preston. They got married later in 2006, and Preston would famously walk out while filming an episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks after host Simon Amstell mocked Houghton by reading out excerpts from her autobiography; just months after this gallant gesture, the couple announced they were splitting up.

Kim Woodburn’s rant (season 19)

Before taking part in Celebrity Big Brother, the perma-bunned Kim Woodburn was best known as one half of the How Clean is Your House team, tasked with sorting out some of Britain’s grossest homes. Funny, then, that she should turn out to be one of CBB’s messiest housemates, in terms of drama, that is: she rowed constantly with her fellow contestants. Most memorable of all was the moment when she got into a slanging match with footballer Jamie O’Hara, which soon devolved into Woodburn shouting the word “adulterer” over and over again, before being escorted out by security.

Leo Sayer makes a bid for freedom (season five)

It all got too much for Seventies singer Leo Sayer when he couldn’t get hold of some fresh underwear after 10 days in the CBB house. After arguing with Big Brother in the Diary Room, he announced his decision to leave to the other contestants, then stormed into the garden, eventually breaking out by smashing down a door with a broom. In a tussle with security staff, he branded the show “insanitary” and claimed it “doesn’t pass any standards of living”. Off camera, according to Big Brother’s Little Brother presenter Dermot O’Leary, Sayer tried to get the police involved by getting into a nearby squad car. But it was a fake –CBB was filming next door to The Bill at the time.