The Best & Battiest Moments From This Past Weekend’s Holiday Movies
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‘Tis the season to be merry and watch every new holiday movie as it debuts. Each Monday, we’ll take a look back at the previous weekend’s premieres to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year with a new list of superlatives.
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Biggest Shocker
How have we never gotten a Hallmark Movies & Mysteries original called Miracle in Bethlehem, PA before? There was no room in the inn when lawyer Mary Ann (Laura Vandervoort) got stranded in a blizzard after picking up the newborn she was adopting, so she had to stay with musician turned mechanic Joe (Benjamin Ayres). GET IT?
Cutest Baby
With all apologies to Natalie in Miracle in Bethlehem, PA, we’re gonna have to go with Clara in Fox’s The Christmas Break.
Best Exterior Illumination
Lifetime’s Mom’s Christmas Boyfriend: When a home is decorated as beautifully as this one, you stage as many conversations on the porch as possible.
Biggest Interior Décor Debate
Do we need to put lit garland on our headboard? Is this a thing people do outside of movies? It does create a peaceful mood for Cameron (Jaime M. Callica) in OWN’s Christmas Revisited.
Best Stocked Bar
If we had to be snowed in at a cabin, the one in Christmas Revisited is ideal. It was nice to see a movie in which the beverage of choice was not cocoa.
Most Underused Amenity
As we watched Jo (Tanyell Waivers) and Cam finally discuss their long-simmering sexual tension in Christmas Revisited, we wondered: Why don’t we see more hot tubs in holiday movies? None of the resorts, inns, or cabins seem to have them in Hallmark movies (swimsuits would be scandalous!). We only recall one hot tub in a Lifetime film this year, and it was used for morning meditation.
Worst Romantic Cliché
We just had to see Emma (Jeananne Goossen) and Zach (Zach Smadu) accidentally touch hands while kneading dough in Mom’s Christmas Boyfriend. Goossen would make a great lead in a Hallmark Movies & Mysteries franchise where she can play someone as smart and sexy as Emma who gets to do more than date.
Biggest Reach
The plot of Great American Family’s A Royal Christmas Holiday was laughable from the moment the press-weary Prince of Viseria (Jonathan Stoddard) vowed to grant an interview to TV reporter Katie (Brittany Underwood) because she accosted him at the airport and said it’d mean a lot to her. He felt like he needed something to shake him out of his “royal spiral.” Trusting an ambitious journalist is a choice!
Steamiest Scene
BET+’s Whatever It Takes raised the heat with 39-year-old India (Brely Evans) gettin’ it on with her friend Joan’s 26-year-old son, Devin Jr. (Zuri James). That romance was actually the healthiest and most loving one in the movie (if you can forget India having seen pictures of Devin when he was a boy).
Biggest Pet Peeve
Anyone else get needlessly anxious when they see a woman leave her purse on her chair like India did in Whatever It Takes‘ opening montage of bad dates? The stress induced is second only to watching a woman leave her purse unattended at the table when she gets up to dance.
Biggest Hallmark Setup with Least Hallmark Ending
When Chicago couple Jack (Justin Long) and Caroline (India Mullen) arrive in her Irish hometown for the holidays in The Christmas Break, they learn her ex Cormac (Tom Moran) has opened a bar that is putting her dad’s pub out of business. But in the end, when Caroline finds out she’s pregnant and considers moving back to Ireland to run the bar, her dad tells her… not to! He says she wouldn’t be happy there. He’s ready to retire. Family is a feeling, not a place!
Actress Most Ready to Get Out of the Sister Zone
We’ve said it before (back when she stole The Santa Summit earlier this holiday season), but we’ll say it again: Amy Groening deserves to be the lead in at least one Countdown to Christmas movie next year, not just the sister (whose inn had no rooms left in Miracle in Bethlehem, PA).
Sexiest Xmas Sweater
Yes, Clark (Anthony Bewlz) dated Emma for all the wrong reasons in Mom’s Christmas Boyfriend. But the way he wore this white turtleneck sweater on their first date with her daughter, Lily (Ai Barrett), was very, very right.
Biggest Tearjerker
We weren’t expecting the bow-wrapped ending to UPtv’s A Christmas Letter to make us misty. The look of joy and gratefulness on the face of actor Enrico Colantoni, as his character’s son, David (David Lipper), got engaged to Leslie (Glenda Braganza) and told her that he loved the six kids she fosters, got us.
Quote of the Week
“You know, this is the perfect set-up for one of those cheesy horror flicks. Group of friends in a remote cabin in the woods…
“I’m not worried. We’re all Black, so the psychopath is gonna be pretty confused with who to kill first.”
— Johnnie (Andrew Bushell) comforting Mercedes (Andrea Lewis) when the lights flicker in Christmas Revisited
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