The Best & Battiest Moments From This Past Weekend’s Holiday Movies

‘Tis the season to be merry and watch every new holiday movie as it debuts. Each Monday, we’ll take a look back at the previous weekend’s premieres to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year with a new list of superlatives. 

More from TVLine

• The Night Agent Season 2: Amanda Warren Joins Hit Netflix Drama

• TVLine Items: Ray Romano Joins Netflix Series, Winchesters Vet's Amazon Gig and More

• Squid Game: The Challenge: Who 'Survived' to Claim the $4.56 Million Prize? Plus, Grade Season 1

Biggest Goof

We loved everything about the reunited soap actresses rallying to offer their child co-star-turned-writer/producer Alex (Travis Burns) love advice in Lifetime’s Ladies of the ‘80s: A Divas Christmas. But whoever did the graphics for their group text forgot that those actresses weren’t actually named Linda Gray, Donna Mills, Morgan Fairchild, Nicollette Sheridan and Loni Anderson, and used those first names rather than…OK, to be fair, the only character names we remember are Dana and Juliette. (P.S. Nicollette’s name was misspelled!)

Most Gratuitous Shirtless Scene

Did Alex need to be rewriting the script for their live Christmas episode shirtless in Ladies of the ‘80s: A Divas Christmas? No. But was it appropriate for a film lovingly spoofing soap operas? Yes!

Best Fight

Eddie Murphy’s Chris Carver dueling with the lords-a-leaping in Prime Video’s Candy Cane Lane was great (“Why y’all dressed like Prince?”) He didn’t, however, get his hands as dirty as the women in Ladies of the ‘80s, whose characters improvised a Christmas food fight with drinks and pies in the face and absurdly thick gravy in the hair. (Pause to appreciate just how gorgeous Loni Anderson looks gray.)

Cleverest Acknowledgement That Your Plot Isn’t Exactly New

Bravo to the Walker clan — played gamely by Jennifer Garner, Ed Helms, Emma Myers and Brady Noon — for having a tongue-in-cheek discussion about the fact that they swapped bodies in Netflix’s Family Switch:

“This is a completely unique and original situation that has literally never happened before.”

“Right? I mean, no kid has ever just woken up big.”

“Yeah. It’s so freaky.”

“You’re tellin’ me. I’m 17 again.”

“And I’m 13 going on 30.”

Biggest Debate

Did Family Switch really need to have the toddler, Miles, and the dog, Pickles, trade bodies, too? It was funny, but also really, really stressful when you stopped to think about it. We don’t understand why Pickles was even at the planetarium. But regardless, we’re supposed to assume those two had issues with each other as well?

Most Surprisingly Romantic Moment

Hallmark Channel’s My Norwegian Holiday taught us a lot, including that men in Norway prefer to say “I love you” with actions rather than words. It was genuinely moving when injured world-class skier Henrik (David Elsendoorn) came looking for American JJ (Rhiannon Fish) after she learned his coach was actually her grandfather (!). He spotted her on the forest path and broke into a run — limp and all — to reach her. The scene is proof that we don’t need falling snow and twinkling lights for romance in a Christmas movie.

Best Dressed at a Yuletide Ball

It’’ such a letdown when you get to the royal ball or formal charity event in a TV movie and the heroine makes her entrance in a dress that doesn’t quite warrant the stunned look on her handsome suitor’s face. But tabloid journalist/history buff Charlotte (the ever likable Brooke D’Orsay) did not disappoint in Hallmark Channel’s Not So Royal Christmas.

Best Spit-Take

Garner’s teen-tastes-first-wine soaker in Family Switch was almost too over the top; she hadn’t sipped the volume of liquid she spit. The winner: Not So Royal Christmas’ Will Kemp, whose character, Adam, had a more proportional but still hilariously unexpected reaction to seeing that a photo of him impersonating the Count of Sorhagen had surfaced online. Royal storylines are staples of the holiday movie genre, but as they become more and more preposterous in today’s world, networks need actors good (and charming) enough to make you forget what poor security and incompetent press offices fictional Scandinavian palaces have. Long may Kemp reign!

Prettiest Porch

This all-is-calm-all-is-bright oasis was the ideal place for social media influencer Mona (Mishael Morgan) to contemplate whether to give up her busy life in New York City to take over the year-round planning of her family’s Christmas carnival and barn dance in Hallmark Channel’s Christmas With a Kiss.

Best Church Choir Director

Nicole (Trenyce Cobbins), the R&B has-been at the center of BET+’s The Christmas Ringer, somehow arranged a last-second version of her signature song, “You’re My Holiday,” for her group after a rival (Kelly Price) stole her choir’s planned competition number. The performance was a joyful showstopper with standout vocals from Trenyce, Tamika Scott and Q Parker. (Can we get it added to Spotify?) Runner-up: Carly (Shenae Grimes-Beech) did an admirable job in Hallmark Movies & Mysteries’ Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas while discovering she was hired by the aunt she never knew she had (!).

Sexiest Xmas Sweater

We do realize Mona’s one who got away, Jesse (Tyler Lepley), is wearing a coat on their date in BET+’s The Christmas Ringer, but doesn’t it feel like a sweater? It makes us want to hug him (and pray we don’t spill our hot cocoa in the process).

Coolest Cameo

You’re correct: That was Weezer serving as the rest of Bill’s (Helms) band, Dad or Alive, for a rockin’ rendition of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” in Family Switch.

Sweetest Moment

Candy Cane Lane spoiler alert: We got misty when Chris believed he’d be forever trapped as a glass figurine in rogue elf Pepper’s (Jillian Bell) decorative Christmas village and said his goodbyes to his family — having learned to appreciate his children’s individual gifts and free will. Youngest daughter Holly (scene-stealer Madison Thomas) crying out “Daddy!” almost broke us. Also touching: The Planes, Trains and Automobiles-esque moment when you realize regenerated Pip (Nick Offerman) is too old to have any family left, and he comes back to spend Christmas with the Carvers.

Best Epilogue

“One Year Later” flash-forwards are very popular this year. Candy Cane Lane only needed to jump ahead one week for its satisfying conclusion. Turns out, Pepper (short for Peppermint) hadn’t just been warmly welcomed back into Santa’s (David Alan Grier) fold after all. He’s trapped her as a tiny figurine in her holiday shop, now operated by Chris, until she proves herself worthy of more. Could we see a sequel? Perhaps Peppermint Barks Back…

Classiest Blooper

We’re gonna go with Garner gearing up for her Family Switch burp scene (“I’m a 50-year-old refined person”). The montage of her efforts + the crew’s enthusiastic response = comedy!

Your Guide to 100+ New Holiday Movies

View List

Best of TVLine

• Mrs. Maisel Flash-Forward List: All of Season 5's Futuristic Easter Eggs

• Yellowjackets Recap: The Morning After

• Yellowjackets Recap: The First Supper

Get more from TVLine.com: Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Newsletter