Bella Thorne has always been an open book. But with the release of her own collection of poems titled The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray, the 21-year-old actress let fans in on a deeper and darker side of her life, and continues to do so online.
In a recent series of Instagram posts, the former Disney star quite literally took a page from her own book by posting some free hand writing about sexuality, persistence and validation alongside some intimate photos.
One poem in particular, about the difficulty that Thorne faces in learning to love herself, has received the attention of hundreds of Thorne’s fans, who says she has never been so relatable.
“What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men... Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so f****** scary to me. all I want is him,” Thorne’s poem began. “I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it's ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I'm accepted. Why? Because I can't accept myself.”
Thorne went on to explore the reasons she feels this way — including having been molested for years during her childhood or simply being raised with the belief that she wasn’t ever enough.
Now, however, the actress, singer and author wrote that she blames herself for the way that she feels, and the fact that she doesn’t see any resolution to her negative thoughts. And although the caption was extremely personal, hundreds of Thorne’s fans responded to it by saying that it reflected their own experiences.
“Never related to something so much,” one person commented. “Everyday you humanize yourself more and more!! The transparency is beautiful, inspiring.”
Another wrote, “So many people need to hear this. You are so powerful with your words.”
Even a number of Thorne’s fellow artists and friends praised her for the vulnerable post.
“You are so open, honest and real. This made me cry. Love you babe,” Paris Hilton commented.
“So inspiring dude. And never related more. So so beautiful. Thank you for your vulnerability angel,” wrote Demi Lovato.
Thorne ultimately ended her writing with the conclusion that she must start to accept what she can’t change.
“Usually these free handed writing bits..they have an end, but I don't have an end. I'm still figuring it out as always,” she wrote. So is that ok? Is it ok to know what your end goal Is but absolutely no way or idea how to achieve it. It's probably not but I can only start by accepting it.”
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