Based on your favorite Christmas movie, here's a North Jersey restaurant to try
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According to Buddy the Elf, there are four food groups; candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. Ralphie Parker, on the other hand, only knows head-on duck and Ovaltine. And on the Polar Express? Forget solid calories altogether — it's all about hot chocolate.
Christmas and food go together like, well, Christmas and food, so it makes sense that all of our favorite holiday movies feature people eating, drinking and being merry. But, as oppose to Clark Griswold and the Heat Miser, we — as actual people — aren't bound by the culinary constraints of scripted cinema.
So, though Thurman Merman may have to spend every December eating sandwiches, you don't have to.
Based on your favorite Christmas movie, therefore, here is a real-life Jersey restaurant you should try this holiday season.
'Elf': The Pasta Shop
Will Ferrell's Elf has iconic, meme-able moments, but one that's always stuck with me is the scene where Buddy pours syrup all over spaghetti — and eats it with his hands. Say what you want about Lady and the Tramp, but, as far as I'm concerned? That's the best way cinema's ever showcased the long, skinny noodles.
If your favorite Christmas movie is Elf, therefore, you definitely need to make a trip to Denville's The Pasta Shop this holiday season. With the some of the tastiest homemade noodles in the area, the social media-favorite restaurant will have you slurping down spaghetti just like Santa's tallest helper.
Also, the Shop occasionally serves desserts with chocolate or sprinkles in them, so, if you want your noods topped with syrup and candy? Chef Tommy can probably make that happen.
Go: 13 1st Ave., Denville; 973-253-4143, thepastashopdenville.com.
'Home Alone: Lost in New York': Holsten's
Lost in New York is arguably the better of the two Home Alone movies (I'm not even going to entertain the existence of numbers 3 and 4), with loads of laugh-out-loud moments and plenty of endearing morals and lessons. As a kid, however, the ten-scoop ice cream sundae that Kevin enjoyed in The Plaza Hotel had me wishing that my parents would conveniently disappear, too.
As soon as I hit age 13, though, I realized I didn't need assassins, Fairly OddParents or child services to take care of my mom and dad — I could get my own mountain of brain freeze at Holsten's in Bloomfield. A charming, old-style ice cream parlor that's been in Jersey for more than 100 years, the famed hole-in-the-wall even serves its decadent sundaes in the same banana spilt bowls (long spoons and all) that McCalister uses in the movie.
Go: 1063 Broad St., Bloomfield; 973-338-7091, holstens.com.
'A Christmas Story': Hunan Taste
I'm 99% sure all you A Christmas Story fans already know where I'm going with this. But if you don't? Allow me to jog your memory:
"Deck the halls with boughs of (CAN'T MAKE THIS JOKE ANYMORE), Fa-(THIS ONE EITHER)."
That's right; I'm talking about the iconic Chinese food ending scene of the 1983 film. If A Christmas Story is your holiday flick of choice, therefore, I recommend trying out Hunan Taste this December.
Also located Denville, the restaurant serves all of your favorite American-Chinese classics, as well as many traditional Chinese dishes, in an ornate setting. Order the peking duck from one of the silk linen-draped tables, and you're sure to feel like you're celebrating with the Parkers.
Go: Montclair and Denville (Denville is the fancy one); hunantaste.com.
'Bad Santa': Town Hall Deli
No words likely haunt Billy Bob Thornton's dreams as much as "Can I fix you some sandwiches?" One of the Christmas memes of the century, Thurman Merman's famous line to drunk Willie Soke's has pretty much cemented Bad Santa as a contemporary holiday movie classic. In that heart-wrenching moment, you almost actually believed that one-hit-child-actor-wonder Brett Kelly had legitimate talent. It was fantastic.
Cinematic critique aside, though, there's no better place in Jersey to get a homemade-style sandwich than Town Hall Deli. Ham and Cheese, Sloppy Joe; you name it, the spot has it. And, with many of the creations coming on soft, sliced bread, they've gotta taste — I imagine — just like Merman made them.
Go: 74 1st St., South Orange; 973-762-4900, townhalldeli.com.
'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer': Miracle on Valley (at Gus' Last Word)
If Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is your favorite Christmas movie, you definitely have an affinity for all things cute, because that little pony-looking buddy is the cutest holiday character of all time (the claymation one, of course). This December, then, I recommend visiting the adorable Miracle on Valley pop-up cocktail bar at Gus' Last Word in Wood-Ridge.
Miracle pop-up bars are a series of seasonal Christmas cocktail bars that take over local restaurants (for about six weeks, like Spirit Halloween) across the country. Serving drinks from a Christmaspolitan to Naughty and Nice shots, everything about the bars — from the decor to the beverage service — is outrageously festive.
Though Miracle has a couple of North Jersey locations, the one on Valley is my favorite. It feels the most Christmas-y, which, since such a classic holiday movie is your favorite, I'm sure is important to you.
(I also like it because it has popcorn chicken.)
Go: 191 Valley Blvd., Wood-Ridge; 973-939-5608, guslastword.com.
The Polar Express: F1rst
On the Polar Express they've got it, and at F1rst? They've also got it: hot chocolate.
On the train, they've got it in mugs. At the restaurant, however, they've got it in ganache form in shot glasses on the side of warm, gooey, inside-out lava cakes. The change in structure doesn't matter, though, because — even in his dessert configuration — Chef Adam Weiss makes sure to follow animated Tom Hanks' rule; "Never, ever let it cool."
Weiss' Chocolate Cake is a sweet-lover's dream that, as aforementioned, comes with a toasty shot of thick liquid chocolate on the side. And, even though the dish is not technically a beverage (or, at least, not all of it is), it tasted as rich, indulgent and sinfully delicious as the cup of cocoa looked in the 2004 children's film.
Go: 112 Lincoln Ave., Hawthorne; 973-830-2119, firstrestaurantnj.com.
The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Old Canal Inn
Nutley's Old Canal Inn has a weird claim to fame; it is home to the "Death Chair." In the mid-20th century, the rumor goes, two men were fighting over a seat at the bar. I'm not sure who won (not that it matters), but — legend says — both men died of heart attacks 10 days later. And in 1964? Something similar happened again. Because of these weird coincidences, many consider the Inn one of the most haunted restaurants in the state.
It's no surprise, then, that someone who enjoys The Nightmare Before Christmas might also love an evening at the spooky spot.
It's also no surprise that so many fatalities have happened in the place. Currently, the restaurant serves "Death Seat Platter" featuring a beer-battered, deep-fried burger stuffed with mashed potatoes and nacho cheese.
Crush that saturated fat bomb with an IPA and you're dying whether you sit in the chair or not.
Go: 2 E Passaic Ave., Nutley; 973-284-1272, theoldcanalinn.com.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: The Original Pancake House
Most Christmas movies are family movies, but National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is an extended-family-with-in-laws-and-second-cousins Christmas movie. A family restaurant, in this scenario, just wouldn't do — you'd need a space that can accommodate your rich grandparents, two-year-old nephews and trailer-trash cousin that lives in an RV.
The Original Pancake House in West Caldwell is just that type of place. Need to please a teenager? Order the Red Velvet Pancakes. Gotta keep Grandma alive? Go for the healthy Wheat Germ Flapjacks. Whoever you're trying to please, the cozy Essex County spot has something for everyone.
Go: 817 Bloomfield Ave., West Caldwell; 973-575-9161, originalpancakehousewestcaldwell.com.
Kara VanDooijeweert is a food writer for NorthJersey.com and The Record. If you can't find her in Jersey's best restaurants, she's probably off running a race course in the mountains. Catch her on Instagram: @karanicolev & @northjerseyeats, and sign up for her North Jersey Eats newsletter.
This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: NJ restaurants to try based on your favorite Christmas movie
