This week on The Great British Bake Off, it was dessert week and...oh, who are we kidding, everyone was just mourning the untimely end of show favourite Helena.
We’re still reeling from last week’s shock decision to cull both Helena and Michelle, neither of whom deserved it (yes, we’re still bitter).
And we’re not the only ones - pretty much everyone was devastated at what they saw as complete injustice to Helena in particular.
For the rest of this season I’m just gonna be thinking “I wonder what Helena would’ve baked” 😔 #GBBO— Meg (@meghapgood) October 1, 2019
Cannot belive Michelle and Helena aren't in #GBBO this week, actually so upset— Ellie Bryson (@elliebryson99) October 1, 2019
They had to eliminate Helena last week because once October hit she’d become too powerful. #gbbo— Zack Quiroz (@ZQuiroz) October 1, 2019
The episode featured a touching tribute to the Goth baker in brooch form that had everyone melting with emotion at what might have been.
Henry my beautiful angel wearing the spiderweb brooch for Helena 😭😭 I’m too emotionally drained for this #gbbo— Meg Banner 🏳️🌈 (@CommonBanner) October 1, 2019
We don’t wish to upset the Bake Off faithful any further, but consider this - if Helena had made it to the final, she would have been making her Showstopper bid for the crown in Halloween week.
Paul and Prue, what have you robbed us of?
But if anything’s going to sweeten us up, it’s dessert week - especially when it involves a desert bombe.
The Signature Bake
Meringue cakes were the first order of the day, which are terrifying to bakers both for being fiddly and easy to break into a million dusty crumbs.
Talking about the merits of meringues at a posh dinner party, Priya mused: “We used to have dinner parties, then we had kids.”
We know how you feel, Priya - we used to have Tuesday nights out, then we had kids. But we also get our weekly appointment with Bake Off now, so, pluses and minuses...
Henry continued to glam up his shirt and tie combo for every week in the tent, this time adding a sparkly web brooch we assume in tribute to dear departed Helena, which quickly became the talking point of the episode.
The rest of us were still missing the Queen of Halloween too, and viewers couldn’t help but wonder how she would have bent each challenge to fit her own personal theme.
I wish Helena was there, making all seven tiers of hell in pavlova form #gbbo— Andy (@andywindmill) October 1, 2019
As ever, David produced the classiest bake in the tent, but unfortunately overpowered it with the flavour of cloves which sounds about the least delicious thing we can imagine.
Wow, the judging was harsh this week, though, which is a sure sign we’re getting to the business end of the competition.
Bravo to Henry for fighting back to Paul Hollywood over scandalous accusations he didn’t make his own jam.
Read more: Alice and Henry ‘are dating’
Who won the Technical Challenge?
Continuing the theme of technicals the bakers have never even heard of, this week they had to make verrines - which are, of course, layered desserts in a glass.
As Noel Fielding correctly guessed, it was a challenge set by Prue Leith, as he said: “If it was Paul, it would have been Angel Delight.”
We were just busy admiring Noel’s outfit this week when Steph pointed out that his jumper looked like a Where’s Wally drawing, and now we can’t unsee it.
As the bakers inched their way across the tent carrying precarious trays of finely-balanced verrines, we could barely bring ourselves to watch. Seriously, that scene rivalled any big-budget Hollywood action film for tension.
Noel also picked the nervous walk as the perfect time to pull Henry up on his matching of a red shirt and red tie, a joke which did not go down well.
This week’s teacher’s pet was Alice, who didn’t put a foot wrong with any element of the complicated challenge and had definition between the layers so straight that it looked like she’s used her geography teacher’s ruler and compass.
Who wouldn’t want a celebration dessert bombe?
It was a particularly fitting task for Michael, who turned 26 on that day of the competition - happy birthday Michael!
Meanwhile, everything about Alice started to fall into place as she admitted: “I drink a lot of coffee.”
We also realised that all we want in life is to be a part of David, Michael and Henry’s club.
Turning a bombe out of its bowl may look like a very satisfying task from the comfort of your sofa, but we suspect it’s a little tougher under the pressure of a time limit and being judged for your efforts as the most stressed Alice has ever looked was when hers wouldn’t budge for what seemed like forever.
This week’s Showstoppers were even more stunning than usual, particularly Steph’s, as Paul told her: “That’s one of the best things I’ve had to eat for a long time.”
However, he didn’t have quite such high praise for Rosie: “The colours are...it reminds me of Noel.”
Or in fact Michael, who got: “It looks like something straight from a 1970s sweet trolley.”
Who was Star Baker?
Obviously, it was Steph - partly because it is every week now, that’s the law, and partly because she baked the most delicious thing Paul Hollywood has ever eaten.
Surely that now goes on her bio, a commemorative brooch, a plaque outside her house, and iced on everything else she ever makes.
It’s a hat trick for Steph and we’re pretty sure she’s going to win the whole series now. Come on, Steph!
Who was sent home?
Henry and Priya both had a tough week, but it was finally Priya’s time to go after languishing near the bottom of the scoring for too many weeks in a row.
For the last couple of weeks, viewers have thought it was horribly unfair that Phil, Michelle, and of course Helena were sent home instead, but Priya baked her heart out this week and was clearly devastated to go.
We’re very nearly down to the final few bakers of 2019 - hold onto your aprons for next week.
The Great British Bake Off continues on Tuesdays at 8pm on Channel 4.