The Bachelorette recap: Chosen families
Nothing like meeting someone's family to put your relationship with them into perspective. Usually. This week on The Bachelorette, Charity went into the hometown dates hoping for clarity and came out feeling like she was "falling in love" with all four men.
Let's recap!
Hometown date No. 1: Aaron S.
Location: Houston, Texas
Relatives present: Ethel (mom); Eddie (dad); Edward and Erick (brothers); Audrey (sister-in-law)
What would a hometown date greeting be without a #huju?
ABC Aaron and Charity on 'The Bachelorette'
To be fair, though, this was more of a slow-motion hug jump, but it still qualifies. "I feel a little anxious," says Aaron. "It's been 10 years since I brought someone home to my parents. But I'm really looking forward to today. I think it's going to go well."
Aaron admits to Charity that he wishes they were able to reach the "L-word" stage before meeting his family, but he's hoping today will be the day that pushes them over the edge.
Side note No. 1: So, everyone in Aaron's immediate family has a name that starts with "E" except for him? I guess his mom and dad just weren't fans of Evan, Ernest, Everett, Elijah, Ethan, Ellis…
Moving on.
The couple are greeted warmly by Aaron's family, who have prepared enough food for an army. Frog legs, catfish, green beans, gumbo, fried lobsters, and more. "This is definitely the way to my heart!" says Charity with a laugh. Same, girl. Aaron says his mom is going to be the toughest one to win over ("She locked one of my exes in a room for 45 minutes and had a 'chat'," he says), but Ethel is also the kind of mom who won't eat until everyone at the table has enjoyed their food first.
"Yes, ma'am!" says the Bachelorette. Miraculously, rose lovers, everyone actually eats the food. I guess producers knew better than to mess with Ethel.
After the meal, Erick takes his big brother outside for a chat. "Aaron, she's a nice girl," he says. "If you guys are on the same level emotionally, real talk, I think you can solve any problems that come your way." Aaron gushes about how Erick's relationship with his wife, Audrey, is a real inspiration to him, and that he looks up to him as a role model. Oh man, Erick, don't start crying — we're barely 15 minutes into the episode. I can't get weepy yet!
While Ethel does not lock Charity in a room, she does sit down with her in the living room for a no-nonsense get-to-know-you chat. The Bachelorette says she loves that Aaron is gentle and passionate, and that she knows what it means to be in love. "Meeting Charity is very encouraging," says Ethel. "She seems very compassionate, very purposeful, and very warm. I'm very pleased."
Even so, Ethel has more questions.
ABC Aaron's mom gets to the point on 'The Bachelorette'
Mom asks: "Would you be ready to say yes, or not?" Dang, Ethel's playing hardball. And to Charity's credit, she gives a straightforward answer rather than trying to talk around the tricky topic.
"I would say, probably not," admits the Bachelorette. "But my answer would not be in reflection of who Aaron is or where I stand with him. I value what a proposal means. I value saying yes and doing it only one time. So for me, I want to be at a place where when I say yes to my person, I'm 100 percent certain where I'm at."
Charity knows that it's a little late to be feeling as uncertain as she is about one of her potential husbands. "With the time we have, I don't know if me and Aaron will get there," she says.
Side note No. 2: How adorable is Aaron's dad?
ABC Eddie's frames are fly
Not the purple glasses! This man has style. Though dad says watching his son look for a wife on TV has been "overwhelming," now he's on board. "Meeting you today, I get it," Eddie tells Charity. He also shares his rave reviews with Aaron: "What a sharp, articulate, beautiful young lady. That's what you would call a keeper." Amen to that, Eddie! Awww, now they're hugging and crying, and I'm gonna cry again, too.
"Charity fits in like a glove," says Aaron, after getting the full blessing from mom and dad. And it seems like Charity is feeling at home, too. "I can't wait to come back," she tells Ethel. Quite a bold statement, even if this isn't Charity's first hometown date. (They're not always shown in order of filming.) Either way, mom LOVES to hear it: "From your lips to God's ears!"
The date ends with Aaron taking Charity for an evening picnic at his high school football field and giving her a personalized letterman jacket. And you know what comes next, rose lovers:
ABC Aaron shoots his shot on 'The Bachelorette'
"Awwwww," says Charity. What she does not say is, "I'm falling in love with you, too." But let's not worry about that right now. Aaron's brought a boombox so they can slow dance to Lauren Alaina, just like they did on their one-on-one date. It's so romantic, Charity is moved to tears.
Hometown date No. 2: Joey
Location: Collegeville, Penn.
Relatives present: Cathy (mom); Nick (dad); Joe (uncle); Carly and Ellie (sisters); Zach (brother-in-law)
The date begins with a tennis lesson because men love to show off when they're good at something. "Tennis is a big part of my life," says Joey. "It's probably where I feel the most comfortable."
Charity changes into a cute purple tennis dress and gamely tries her hand at a few swings. She's having a great time. "Joey makes me feel good," she says. "Joey makes me giddy." Well, get it together, girl — Joey's Uncle Joe just walked in! He's Joey's mentor, and Uncle Joe says he and his nephew have a lot of "similar traits." To that end, "I try to get him to avoid some of the pitfalls that I've gone through in my life," says Uncle Joe. I guess that's what he's doing here? I mean, besides helping Joey teach Charity to play tennis.
abc Uncle Joe, Joey, and Charity on 'The Bachelorette'
"His opinion is probably the one that matters the most to me," says Joey. Oh man, you might regret saying that once you hear Uncle Joe's opinion, buddy. "I like Charity," says Uncle Joe. "But something didn't feel 100 percent with Joey." He plans to "look Joey in the eye" that night at the family dinner and figure out if his nephew's "head's screwed on straight."
I mentioned this in a previous post, but as soon as I saw this clip with Joey's uncle, I couldn't help but wonder: Is Joey faking it? I've seen several people tweet about how he seems "phony" or like he's putting on an act, and honestly, I didn't really see it — but Uncle Joe's skepticism is for sure a red flag. And now I'm extra worried to hear Charity say that she might want to tell Joey she's falling in love with him. Our queen cannot fall for a dissembler! It simply will not stand!
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's head home to meet Joey's family, shall we?
ABC Getting a little crowded on that couch
Joey's sister Carly sits down with Charity first, and she admits to finding the whole situation a little stressful. "I want to protect him and his happiness and his heart because he feels so deeply when he does love someone," says Carly. "It's scary." The Bachelorette says she's truly hoping for "forever" with Joey, adding, "I am, without a doubt, falling in love with him." It is, of course, what Carly was hoping to hear.
Meanwhile, Cathy is having a heart-to-heart with her son. "I do feel comfortable that I've gotten to know who she is as a person," says Joey. And mom, bless her, has complete confidence that her son won't have her heart broken. "If you are being you and you're being real, she falls in love with you," says Cathy. "There's no doubt about that."
That "if" is doing a lot of work, and Joey can't help but push back. "Do you think I'm not being me, not being real? Are you doubting that?" he asks his mom. Cathy demurs — No, of course not — but Joey's response concerns me. Like, in an "a guilty person will always be hypersensitive to signs that you're on to him" kind of way. Am I overthinking this? Has Uncle Joe messed with my mind?
Speak of the skeptical relative and he shall appear.
ABC Uncle Joe has concerns on 'The Bachelorette'
"You, today, on the tennis court — I dunno," says Uncle Joe. "You just didn't seem as comfortable… My biggest concern with you is, are you portraying yourself, or are you portraying somebody that she wants, right? And we've been down this road a ton."
Oh, boy. Maybe Joey isn't putting on a show because he wants to be Bachelor — maybe he's just one of those people who tries to Zelig themselves into whatever their love interest finds most appealing. (Cue Taylor Swift's "Blank Space": "Find out what you want/be that girl for a month.") Either way, it's not a good situation for Charity.
Joey doesn't say anything, so Uncle Joe continues pushing. "How confident are you that you've been your most genuine self?" Of course, Joey answers without hesitation: "Very confident!" But he's fiddling with his bracelet as he speaks, which could mean he's being deceptive — or it could just mean he's worried that his uncle is mad at him." Joey is a little bit of a pleaser," says Uncle Joe. "I want to see Joey in a relationship where he's comfortable being 100 percent Joey."
Of course, Uncle Joe says he's a "cynical" guy, and no matter how Joey acted with Charity, he probably would have his own doubts since, you know, the whole reality show thing. "It's going to be challenging to make sure it's real," notes Uncle Joe. "So, I'd like to hear what Charity has to say about that."
Okay, Ms. Lawson, take a seat. Uncle Joe has some questions, including but not limited to, "How confident are you that you have the genuine Joey? The real Joey?" Sir, how would she know the difference? She's only ever met "guy on Bachelorette" Joey.
"You guys would know that way better," says Charity. "But I have not sensed anything other than just genuineness from him." Of course, this line of questioning is making the Bachelorette nervous. "I'm, like, very much confused," she says. "It's concerning. It's alarming a little bit. Maybe I'm missing something, but what is it that I'm missing?"
It's that drop of doubt, apparently, that keeps Charity from dropping the "I'm falling in love with you" bomb on Joey before leaving Pennsylvania. She had planned to say it if everything went "perfectly," but Uncle Joe and his common sense kept that from happening. It's clearly weighing on Charity, who bursts into tears while hugging Joey goodbye. "Are they happy tears?" he asks. Charity assures him that they are, but Joey can't help but wonder why the Bachelorette seemed so "uncomfortable" during their final conversation. "She's not looking at me, she's just crying," he frets. "Was that a goodbye?"
We'll have to put a pin in that question because it's time for…
Hometown date No. 3: Xavier
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Relatives present: Clarence (dad); Chelsea (sister); Tracey (mom)
"We're doing something crazy," announces Xavier after meeting Charity in the park. "How long can you hold your breath?"
He's just kidding, rose lovers. When Xavier says "crazy," he means "knitting class." No asphyxiation required!
ABC A very tight-knit group (yes, I hate myself)
Everyone is super chill and friendly, as you'd expect. "I just find it so sweet and so special that he just wanted to spend a day teaching me how to knit," says Charity. "He was just in his element." The women in the class praise Xavier for his patience and generally sweet demeanor with the Bachelorette, too, and they let out a collective "awwwww" when the couple kisses.
From there it's on to the Blue Café for a pre-dinner chat. Charity brings up her concerns about Xavier's admitted fear of commitment, and he assures her that he's going to push himself to "be better." But Xavier is also realistic about the fact that he's not sure if Charity is "the one" for him — which, honestly, he shouldn't be after such a short time together. But as we know, rose lovers, this show ignores logic and reason and all that boring stuff.
All right, time to meet Xavier's lovely family.
ABC Xavier's family is all smiles on 'The Bachelorette'
Oh man, when Xavier basically tackle-hugged his mom on the couch, I almost started crying again. His mom, as you may remember, has MS and is one of the reasons he became a biomedical scientist.
"Their energy with one another, I was like, 'Woah,'" raves Tracey. "I thought they seemed like they have been together for a very long time." Chelsea sits down with the Bachelorette first, and she gets right to the point: "Do you really like him? Are you falling in love with him? Are you already there?" Charity says she's in between "like" and "falling in love" for now, and then she asks Chelsea if she thinks her brother is ready to settle down. Little sister thinks so, which of course makes Charity feel better.
Mom, meanwhile, asks Charity what she likes about Xavier, and to be honest, her answer sounds a lot like what she said about Joey: We're comfortable together, we can be ourselves, etc. Tracey echoes her daughter's sentiments about Xavier, saying he wants to be married and have a family. If he's afraid, adds mom, it's simply because of the accelerated timeline — which is fair.
Indeed, Xavier asks his dad for some guidance. "How do you know when it's right?" he wonders. "How do know that it's going to last for 30 years?" Clarence says it all comes down to a feeling. "Nothing else matters when you're with that person," he says. "Knowing that that person has your back." Dad says he can see a "connection" between Xavier and Charity, and that she's "a nice young lady." Still, he's not sure whether his son is truly in love with the Bachelorette. "He's feeling something," notes Clarence. "Whether that's love or not, I'm going to let him decide that."
To hear Xavier tell it — to his mom, at least — he is ready to commit to Charity. "I have a very strong connection with her," he says. And Chelsea raves that Charity is "phenomenal," which makes Xavier feel confident enough to tell the Bachelorette he's falling in love with her.
"Oh, goodness!" she cries, before going in for a smooch. She leaves Cleveland feeling "so good" about Xavier, adding, "He could be my husband."
Hometown date No. 4: Dotun
Location: Fresno, Calif.
Relatives present: Three sisters, two brothers, Temitayo (grandma), and two surprise guests
Hell, yeah! It's time to meet Dotun's family! But first, how cute are these two together?
ABC Charity gets on her tippy toes to kiss Dotun on 'The Bachelorette'
He has to bend down SO MUCH to kiss her, it's adorable. Unfortunately, Dotun says his parents won't be able to meet Charity today, because they spend four to six weeks a year in Nigeria and "the timing didn't work out." He's pretty bummed, but Dotun hopes his brothers and sisters will do a decent enough job vetting Charity in place of his parents.
Hey buddy, don't forget grandma!
ABC Dotun and his grandma
"She is a whole vibe and a half," says Dotun lovingly. Not only will Temitayo give you one of the top-five best hugs you've ever received and feed you until you can't eat another bite, but she'll also tell it to you straight when it comes to your relationship.
"I can feel and see they are bonded from Heaven," says Temitayo of her grandson and Charity. Me too, Grandma!
Just as Dotun and Charity are sitting down to a feast of Nigerian food with his brothers and sisters, in walk these two absolute rock stars.
ABC Give this family their own reality show, stat!
It's Dotun's mom, Adenike, and his dad, whose name we never learn! They came back from Nigeria to see their boy and the woman he (almost) loves! I honestly could not be more obsessed with this family. "Are you kidding me?" cries Dotun gleefully, over and over again. He's also a little concerned because his mom can be "very critical," but if he's going to marry Charity — and I do believe he wants to — she's going to have to pass the Mom Test at some point.
But Adenike pulls Dotun for a chat first. She says she likes Charity and wants to know if her son is in love with her. "It's definitely falling in love with her," he says. "I think once my brain matches with my heart and my brain says, 'Yeah'… then I think you can call it true love." Imagine, rose lovers — a Bachelorette contestant who's allowing his brain to get involved in the decision-making process! It's just one more reason Dotun is a wonder.
Meanwhile, Charity chats with one of Dotun's sisters, his dad, and one of his brothers, all of whom assure her that he is being genuine and is ready to commit. When Adenike sits down with the Bachelorette, she turns that question around: Is Charity ready to commit to Dotun? "He is someone who's truly super special," says Charity, tearing up. "It's, like, one of those feelings that you can't really sometimes put into words."
Mom seems pleased with that answer. "If you pick my son, I'll whisk you to Nigeria and give you a nice wedding!" she declares. "Big time!" Please let this happen, and please let ABC send cameras. It would be the best Bachelor franchise wedding special EVER.
"I love you!" Temitayo informs Charity as they say their goodbyes. There's a classic Ford Thunderbird sitting in the driveway when they leave the house, and that's because Dotun has a surprise planned: They're going to a drive-in theater! Charity can't believe it, because her parents used to go to drive-ins to watch movies when they were dating. "I'm a person who looks for direct signs," she says.
ABC Charity and Dotun at the drive-in on 'The Bachelorette'
Now playing: Home movies of Dotun and his family, baby pictures of Charity, and then some photos of their "journey" on The Bachelorette. Charity weeps as she watches them, just as Rachel cried when she had a similar movie date with Zach. But this relationship isn't similarly doomed! (Right?)
And with that…
ABC Palmer's been waiting on that patio since last week
Yep, we're back in L.A. Before the rose ceremony, though, Charity has a debrief with Jesse Palmer. (Welcome back, buddy!) "My relationships with the guys, everyone, they all got stronger," says Charity. "It's just making my decision a lot harder." The rest of this conversation is pretty much a recap of what I just recapped; the main takeaway is Charity is "falling in love" with all four guys and she's "never been more conflicted." What could possibly go wrong? Anyhow, let's move on to the main event.
Rose ceremony roll call!
"This has been the hardest day of my life," Charity begins. "I've been going back and forth all day on what to do. But it's necessary to what I want… God help me." He will, ma'am! The first rose goes to Dotun, the second goes to Xavier, and the third goes to… Joey! Wow, that's a twist. Aaron closes his eyes and tries to absorb the blow. All the men hug him goodbye, and then Charity walks him outside to the Bye-Bye Bench. (And yes, it's the same bench where Madison gave Pilot Pete the "sleep with anyone in the Fantasy Suites and I walk" ultimatum during season 24 of The Bachelor.)
"Nothing I say right now I know is, like, going to make you feel better," Charity tells Aaron through her tears. "I need you to understand how difficult a decision this was for me." She says she can't give him a reason why, and even admits that she's not sure that she's making the right decision. "I hate that it wasn't me because I really thought…" Aaron trails off. "I thank God for you." This just makes Charity sob harder. "I'm sorry it wasn't me," she says, and they share a sad hug.
As he rides away in the Reject SUV, Aaron is stunned. "I just don't know what I did wrong," he says with a sigh.
Nothing, sir. Love just sucks, that's all.
Welp, rose lovers, we're down to three men. Though at this point, the only guy who matters — in my humble opinion — is Dotun. How are you feeling about the final three? Was Charity wrong to send Aaron home? And has your mother-in-law ever given you a gift "for the bedroom"? Let me know on Twitter @KristenGBaldwin.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
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