The Bachelorette finale recap: Our queen finds her king

Every once in a while, The Bachelorette gives us a happy ending we can believe in.

Let's recap!

After host (and daddy-to-be) Jesse Palmer welcomes us to the Tealight Candle Thunderdome, where he informs us that tonight we'll meet the new Bachelor — and one "lucky" woman will be plucked from the audience to date him, or something. (More on that later.) With that, the action picks up where we left off on the August 7th episode: Aaron's back! And Charity is so stressed out, she's having acid reflux. "I care so much about him," says the Bachelorette. "This is insane. What are we gonna do?"

I dunno, send him home again? Aaron says he would "love to stay," and he seems genuine. But I'll be honest — at this point in Charity's "journey," you are not going to convince me that she'll keep him over Joey or Dotun. Even after she invites him to have dinner with her that night in her room. And even after this:

ABC Aaron and Charity on 'The Bachelorette'

As for that dinner, it goes fine. Neither of them eats, of course (was there even any food?), but they have a pleasant conversation with plenty of smooches. The night ends with Charity saying she has "a lot to think about and a lot to process."

Dotun and Joey are also going to have a lot to process the next day at the rose ceremony, because they're walking in expecting to see Xavier — and instead in walks Aaron. The look on Joey's face is priceless.

ABC LOL

Charity, you've got some explaining to do! And that's just what the Bachelorette does. "It's also been a very eventful week," she says. "Aaron showed up in hopes of just continuing to fight… I value and I cherish every single one of you all no matter what." All rightie then. Rose ceremony roll call!

Joey gets the first rose, and then… Wait what? Did Charity just say Aaron's name? She sure did, rose lovers. But it's followed by, "Can you come with me?" Yep, she's taking him out to the Bye-Bye Bench to dump him for a second time.

ABC Charity sends Aaron home again

"I'm so grateful for this time that we had this week," says the Bachelorette. "Time wasn't on our side in where we needed to be." I love Charity, but this is pretty annoying. She had to know there was no way she was going to keep him around, so why waste his — and our — time with this charade? And don't say "because producers told her to," because I think we know by now that this woman does take orders from anyone.

Once again, poor Aaron is devastated, but he remains gracious and polite. "You just gave me hope for what my wife even looked like," he says, tears streaming down his face. "Charity, I'm always in your corner." Awwww, that's very sweet. Good luck out there, sir.

And so, the second rose goes to Dotun, who — bless him — looked like he never doubted that Charity would keep him around. Why would he? As his grandma said during their hometown date, these two are bonded from Heaven.

Look at this final two!

ABC Joey and Dotun

Well done, Ms. Lawson. Well done.

At this point, we cut back to the Tealight Candle Thunderdome, where Aaron — looking dapper in a purple (mauve?) suit — is waiting on the Hot Seat. Palmer asks him how hard it was to fly all the way out to Fiji only to face rejection again. "I'll tell you what, that 12-hour flight was the hardest part," says Aaron with a chuckle. "I was thinking the whole time there, 'What's going to happen?'" Aaron adds that he's "never put myself out there like that before," but he was also "not going to give up."

ABC Aaron in the Thunderdome

Neither are producers: They're sending Aaron to Bachelor in Paradise! He seems a little too strait-laced for that beach, but whatever.

Back to Charity's "journey." It's time to meet the family, boys! Charity's mom, Vickie, her dad, David, and her sister, Mia are there to greet her in Fiji. (Alas, Nehemiah is absent.) The Bachelorette informs her family that she's in love with both Joey and Dotun, and immediately Vickie is on high alert. "When Charity said what she said about being in love with two people, it makes me feel uncomfortable," says mom, who notes that her daughter is not super "comfortable" with the concept of "decisiveness." Oh, boy. This should be interesting.

Joey's up first, and he's feeling confident. "To be honest, coming into this, I think she is thinking about choosing me as the person that she wants to be with," he says. "I just have those feelings from the conversations we have." Who can blame him? The Bachelorette is completely giddy around him, and it doesn't go unnoticed by her family. "I saw a connection in Charity and Joey when they sat down," says Vickie.

ABC Joey meets the Lawsons

Mia sits down with Joey first, and she wants to know what he and Charity have in common. He says they both value family, which always seems like a cop-out answer to me, but whatever. I do appreciate that Joey brings up the topic of interracial relationships rather than leaving it for Mia to address first. "I love it," says Mia. "It's not a point of race. For us, it's about love, it's about heart, and about her being protected. So, if you're the right person, we have no problem with it." She adds that she's glad that Joey brought it up and seems to appreciate his assertion that the whole "I don't see color" assertion is "ignorant."

From there, Joey is off to have a one-on-one chat with Vickie. "My feelings for Charity are very real," he says. Mom wants to know what Joey likes about her daughter. "She makes me feel like I can be the best version of myself," says Joey. Mom LOVES it. "Upon your arrival today, I just see you as a very genuine person," says Vickie. "That makes me a little bit at ease as well." Okay, that's two "genuines" — one from mom and one from sis.

Unfortunately, we don't get to see much of David's conversation with Joey — just a brief glimpse of them discussing the NFL draft. But mom is feeling good about the day. "Joey fits in with our family just fine," says Vickie. "I think Joey could be the one."

Hold up, mama! There's still one more man to meet, and he's a keeper, too. But first, another detour to the Thunderdome, where Palmer "randomly" picks a woman from the audience — could she be the one who will be chosen to date the new Bachelor next season?

ABC Random woman or new contestant on 'The Bachelor'?

This is Leia, a lovely 23-year-old from O'ahu, Hawaii, who now lives in Los Angeles. She moved to California in hopes of having a wider dating pool than she had in Hawaii, but "it didn't get better," she tells Jesse. Hmmm… she's from Hawaii, and Joey is based in Hawaii… is this a hint that Joey is the Bachelor?

We'll have to put a pin in that question, rose lovers, because it's time to go back to Fiji. Charity still has no idea which guy she's going to pick, and she needs her family to offer a little guidance. Vickie, for one, is trying to keep an open mind. "I had such a strong connection with Joey, and that's my true feeling at this point," she says. "But it could be changed."

ABC Charity and Dotun

During his conversation with Vickie, Dotun says his connection with Charity has "come in stages," and that he's known he's in love with her for several weeks. "I'm a ruthlessly introspective person and I check in with myself every day," he continues. "I look for the holes in myself, and I haven't found any. And that is why I have so much trust and confidence in my relationship with Charity."

Dotun is obviously a little nervous, and though everything he's saying is clearly genuine and thoughtful, he's just not coming across as easy-going and comfortable as Joey did. That might be why mom is still leaning toward the tennis pro. She tells us that Dotun is the type of man Charity typically goes for, and "any time something is very familiar, that's easy." And she says as much to her daughter.

ABC Vickie has thoughts

Specifically, Vickie tells Charity that in her opinion, she has more "pep in her step" with Joey than she does with Dotun — and the Bachelorette does NOT love it. "This is not something that necessarily sits well with me," says Charity. "My mind is really going a million places."

Maybe Mia will be able to give Charity the guidance that she needs?

ABC Mia also has thoughts

"Joey makes you glow," says Mia. "I can see you have more PDA with him. But you laugh a lot with Dotun, real hard."

This really throws Charity for a loop. "I wasn't expecting that," she says. Does this mean she was leaning toward Dotun and was hoping her family would reinforce that choice? Maybe. Probably? Seeing that Charity is about to start crying, Mia rushes to add that she could see a relationship with Charity and Dotun working out. "I just have to get to know him a little bit better for myself," says Mia. "But I can see it."

Sorry, Charity, but you are just going to have to make this choice on your own. And girl, you're in a win-win situation here. As much as the Romance Industrial Complex likes to tell us that we all have just one soulmate, the reality is that there is more than one lid for every pot. Personally, I think she and Dotun are better suited for each other, but my opinion doesn't change the fact that Charity and Joey would probably have a very happy relationship, too.

Anyhow, after Dotun leaves, Charity goes back in to push her family for answers. "I'm literally a car stuck in mud. My wheels are turning," she frets. "I need someone to come give me a nice gentle push."

Unfortunately for our Bachelorette, her family is understandably not willing to free her from this emotional mud pit. "Either one would make a great, great, great choice," says Vickie. "However, you have to make the decision." Mom adds that she's not going to "do the comparison" because she doesn't want to hurt her daughter — and also, because she knows no one can choose a spouse for Charity but Charity. "We are going to support you in any decision you make," says David. But that's cold comfort for Charity, who is truly flailing. "When I leave you guys, I'm on my own," she sobs. "Mom, can you please share, like, just more thoughts?"

Short answer: No. "I don't want to say names," insists Vicki. Charity pulls her outside, thinking maybe mom will be more forthcoming without cameras in her face. She is not.

ABC There is no such thing as privacy on this show

"But you've got to make that decision," Vickie continues. "Charity, you have to say it." It's tough for the Bachelorette to hear, but Vickie speaks the truth. Her daughter is an adult, and this decision is too important to let someone else influence it. You know Vickie's thinking, "Imagine if I said Joey, and then you all break up?" Time to put your big-girl panties on and choose a husband, Miss Lawson.

But first: The last-chance dates!

Once again, Joey goes first. He and Charity pop some champagne and talk about how well his visit with her family went. And then comes the ceremonial presentation of the Pick Me Gift™:

ABC What will Charity do with this if she picks Dotun?

Remember when Joey and Charity had their one-on-one in New Orleans and the curly-haired man wrote them a love poem on the spot? Joey got it framed. Awwww, that's actually very thoughtful. It's certainly better than buying a picture frame in the resort gift shop. Charity LOVES it. "I love you," she whispers. "I feel so good. I got all that I needed."

Okay then! Does this mean it's over for Dotun? Nope! But before we can go to Dotun's last-chance date, we have to stop back in the Tealight Candle Thunderdome for a Bachelor in Paradise supertease. Rachel Recchia, Hannah Brown, and Katie Thurston are on the beach! Samantha from Zach's season learns she's expecting a "poop baby"! And the introduction of something called the Paradise Truth Box! Complete (and completely sleazy) chaos. Watch the preview here:

Now, back to Dotun and Charity. The next night, Dotun arrives for his last-chance date, and Charity says she's still "completely torn." They talk about Dotun's visit with Charity's family ("Mama Vickie had one eyebrow raised the entire conversation," he jokes), and then it's time for his Pick Me Gift™ — or really, gifts.

ABC Mmmm... s'mores.

Yes, it's a keepsake trip down memory lane. The s'smores they shared at Skamania Lodge, the Fantasy Suite key, the immigration card he showed her during their first "real" conversation at the mansion, and so on. The final gift is a silver locket containing a baby photo of each of them. Oh man, that's adorable.

"The feeling he gives me is indescribable," says Charity. "But… my love for Joey is a love that is strong." In this moment, on the eve of proposals, Charity is overwhelmed and completely confused. She says as much to Dotun, adding that her final date with Joey is what's adding to her confusion. It's the first time she's ever talked about any of the other men with him, and it makes him nervous. "I'm actually kind of surprised," he says. "Yeah, kinda scary."

Welp, rose lovers, it's all over but the crying. Oh, and the Neil Lane product placement, of course. Here's Dotun's pick:

ABC Neil Lane bauble No. 1

And here's Joey's:

ABC Neil Lane bauble No. 2

Subtlety has never been Mr. Lane's strong suit.

It's proposal day, and our queen arrives looking, as Jesse Palmer puts it, "absolutely enchanting."

ABC Charity heads to the Proposal Platform

"I'm emotional right now," she tells the host. "It's been tough." Still, Charity finally knows who she needs to send home. "He deserves so much," she says. "But I have to let him go." And the unlucky fella is…

ABC Joey arrives at the proposal platform

Awww, man. Poor guy. He has no idea what's about to hit him. Once at the Proposal Platform, he launches into his preamble ("I stand here now very confident that it hasn't just been your story — it's turned into our own beautiful love story"), and then comes the most painful moment: He starts to kneel, and she stops him.

ABC Denied.

Oof, what a punch in the gut. And yet, Joey keeps smiling, trying to stay composed while Charity lets him down gently. "I never doubted, never questioned how deep our love is," she says. "But…" At that "but," Joey nods his head, because he knew where this was going. "It's okay," he whispers, as Charity tearfully informs him that she found a "deeper love" with someone else. "Can I give you a hug?" he asks.

"My love for you is truly never going to go away," says the Bachelorette. "I want your happiness." Joey assures her that all he wants is for her to be happy as well, and they share another tearful hug. "Don't be sorry," he says, finally letting a tear roll down his cheek. "I'll always have love for you, Charity." With that, he climbs into the Reject Van.

ABC Next stop, Bachelor.

Rose lovers, I know we've had our concerns in the past about Joey's authenticity, but I'm firmly back in the tennis pro's camp. Maybe I'm a sucker, maybe I'll be proven wrong, but I think Joey is a nice guy who really did think he was in love with Charity. And even though the man is clearly the next Bachelor (more on that in a bit), I choose to believe he was not auditioning this whole time.

Of course, you know what happens next.

ABC Charity and Joey

Yep, we're back in the Thunderdome, where Joey has just watched his own dumping on a giant screen in front of a live audience. "It's raw, you know. That's the first time I've ever seen it," he says. "Truthfully, I blacked out during that time. I don't even remember a lot of that. It's something that you never think you're going to go to go through." Still, Joey is "eager" to see Charity and have another conversation with her now that emotions aren't running so high.

"I've been waiting for this opportunity to speak to you," he says, after the Bachelorette arrives on stage. "Just know how appreciative I am of everything, but I also want to see how you're doing because that's what I care most about." Charity, who just watched their break-up for the first time, too, says reliving that moment was hard. "It was not an easy decision by any means," she admits. "I was constantly going back and forth leading up to those hours… I left you with what I said in that moment, which is that I will almost have so much respect and love for you."

Man, are these two having the smoothest TV break-up ever? The audience keeps bursting into applause because they're just so relieved that Joey is no longer crying and Charity seems happy with her choice.

Okay, Dotun — you're up!

ABC Dotun and Charity

"You have been able to make me feel so incredibly special," says Dotun. "You have made me feel adored and validated and wanted. And to receive that from a woman of your caliber, Charity, I don't you will ever understand what that means to me. But I'm certain that I want to spend the rest of my life showing you."

Now it's Charity's turn to speak, and she begins by telling Dotun about how their one-on-one conversation in Oceanside changed her life. "When I looked in your eyes in that moment, I saw a man that respected me, that valued me, that adored me, but a man that I could love forever," she says. The smile that broke out on Dotun's face in this moment just melted my heart.

ABC OMFGILHSM

"You've made me believe in love again," adds the Bachelorette. "I want a forever future with you." Okay, big guy, start lowering yourself to the ground. It's your time to shine!

He gets down on one knee. "Miss Charity Lawson, will you marry me?" Rose lovers, you know she says yes. She wraps him in her arms, sobbing. "I love you so much!" Eventually, Dotun slips the ring on Charity's finger, and Charity pins the final rose on his lapel. Look at how adorable these two are.

ABC Dotun and Charity

You guys, I kind of think they might really make it work. What has this season done to my cynical, hollowed-out husk of a heart? How will I type the rest of this recap through my ridiculously happy tears?

Producers must have heard my pleas, because they immediately cut to the Thunderdome so Palmer could interview another potential Bachelor contestant. Meet Annie, a "certified life coach":

ABC Jesse Palmer and Annie

"I would love to be on The Bachelor," says Annie, "because as anyone who knows me knows, I am a hopeless romantic." Well, being on the show would fulfill the "hopeless" part, at least.

Of course, just when I thought I was done crying, it's time to welcome our happy couple:

ABC Charity and Dotun

"We are feeling over the moon," gushes Charity. "We've wanted everyone to see our love." Dotun, meanwhile, says he was just "somewhat certain" that Charity would choose him on the final day, and he tried to go into the proposal with a "level-headed" mindset. "It was this feeling of either knowing that I was going to get the greatest thing in my life that I really wanted or being devastated and heartbroken," he explains. "That's a weird mix of feelings to feel."

Sweet boy, don't you know this show specializes in producing weird feelings? As for Charity's family, they're sitting in the audience and seem pleased with her choice. "I'm happy, I'm very happy for them," says mama Vickie. "I've seen the journey and I've gotten to know Dotun a little bit better, so yes I'm very happy." (Phew! Thank goodness we didn't have to endure another Barb-Madison situation.)

Palmer presses the couple on when they might get married ("sooner rather than later"), and then drops this bombshell: "We're sending you on a pre-honeymoon trip to Greece!" Oh, but the host isn't done with the surprises yet. He turns it over to Dotun, who offers THIS bombshell: "You're going to be on Dancing With the Stars, baby, let's go!" The best part about this announcement is watching Grocery Joe, who's sitting in the Thunderdome audience, get a flash of PTSD from his own disastrous time on DWTS.

ABC Grocery Joe dies a little bit inside

At long, long, long last, it's time to meet our new Bachelor… Joey Graziadei! Sure, we just saw him get his heart broken on TV, but the tennis pro says he is definitely Ready to Find Love Again™. "You have to take some time to get a little bit of closure. Watching Dotun and Charity's connection was enough for me," explains Joey. "It was nice to be able to see someone so special be with her." The experience, he adds, "opened up a part of me that wanted something so bad."

Now that he's ready to prioritize finding love, Joey says he wants someone who challenges him, someone to "do life with," someone who he can "truthfully be a partner with." His advice to the women who want to join him on his "journey" to find "love" is simple: Just "be themselves."

Well, Joey, the first woman to take that advice is sitting in the audience RIGHT NOW. It's finally time to reveal which woman will be heading to the mansion for The Bachelor season 28. And the "winner" is… Leia from Hawaii! She comes up on stage, where Palmer makes her stand next to Joey and make awkward chit-chat while he lurks on the side like "the creep eavesdropping in." Leia tells Joey that she thinks they have "a lot in common" and she's "excited" to explore a relationship. Plus, she's homesick for Hawaii — and he lives in Hawaii! It's a match made in TV heaven, right? Joey tells Leia she's "beautiful," and he graciously praises her for her poise under such unusual, live-TV pressure.

Did you think Palmer was done with the surprises? Don't be silly.

ABC Jesse Palmer, Leia, and Joey

That's right, Leia! Next season on The Bachelor, they're doing Fantasy Suites in the first round! Just kidding, rose lovers. No idea what's in this envelope Palmer just handed Leia. The host says it's not a date card, but it will help Leia on her "journey" with Joey — and it will "absolutely change everything." Alas, she has to wait until stepping into the mansion on night one to open it, so here's hoping we all remember this in January when The Bachelor returns.

Welp, rose lovers, we made it. Are you happy Charity chose Dotun? Will you be watching her on Dancing With the Stars? And are you already traumatized by hearing the phrase "poop baby" in the Paradise preview? Let me know your thoughts on Twitter @KristenGBaldwin. And as always, thanks for taking this "journey" with me!

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