Bachelorette Becca Kufrin Feels Like She's 'Back in 6th Grade' During 'Petty' Two-on-One Date
Happy Monday, Bachelor Nation. We’re back with another week of Becca Kufrin‘s season of The Bachelorette — read on for everything that goes down.
ONE-ON-ONE WITH COLTON
This week’s one-on-one date goes to Colton. Colton is relieved that the whole Tia situation is finally behind them, but now they have another hurdle to cross.
“I think the hardest conversation that I’m going to have to have with her is going to be when it comes to personal relationships,” says Colton. “I haven’t taken a lot of risks. I don’t have the experience.”
If you aren’t reading between the lines, don’t worry. ABC spells it out pretty clearly.
Becca and Colton spend the day riding camels out in the desert, which apparently is a thing you can do in Vegas? Colton is visibly annoyed that his camel refuses to stroll peacefully alongside Becca’s ,but she makes it up to him by straddling him in a hot tub later that afternoon.
“The chemistry with Colton is good,” says Becca. “I like it. I like him. A lot.”
Colton tells Becca about his previous relationship and we’re like, pretty sure he’s talking about Aly Raisman.
“I said ‘I love you’ in the beginning, very quick,” he reveals. “And I didn’t get it back. I think that’s why for me, being in love, it has confusion and pain associated with it.”
Colton talks about heartbreak like he’s the only person to have ever experienced it. For some reason, Becca — who, you know, got brutally dumped on national television for the entire world to see — is way too sympathetic.
“Knowing that Colton associates the word ‘pain’ with ‘love’ kills me,” she says. They make out some more and she happily offers him a rose.
“I feel sure of who he is and I really do trust him,” she says. “Just seeing him smile makes my heart happy.”
Still no word on when he’s going to drop the I’m-a-virgin bomb.
GROUP DATE
Becca decides to give Wills, Garrett, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln and Jason the “total Vegas experience” by bringing them to Wayne Newton’s house and forcing them to write a song about her to the tune of “Danke Schoen.”
Lincoln thinks danke schoen means “love of my life.” This is the same guy who thinks the earth is flat. Le sigh.
The boys then perform their songs in front of a live audience. It’s an absolute train wreck across the board except for Chris, who does a semi-decent job and automatically assumes it’s going to earn him the group date rose. Chris is clearly delusional and has no idea he’s miles behind Garrett and Blake, our two main frontrunners.
“After today, I’m ranked as one of the top frontrunners,” he says. “So tonight I don’t have to worry about anything.”
Chris, sweetie. Becca just said she’s falling in love with Blake. You guys aren’t even operating in the same realm. But because he’s on some weird power trip, he makes no effort to steal some time with her during the cocktail party that evening. Well, you snooze, you lose: Becca gives the group date rose to Blake. Chris is completely shook and threatens to pack his bags and leave that night.
RELATED VIDEO: Becca Kufrin Walks Off Bachelorette Date After Contestant Admits He Lied About ‘Falling’ for Her
TWO-ON-ONE WITH DAVID AND JORDAN
Of course this season’s two-on-one date goes to David and Jordan, who have been at odds since night one. Poor Becca thinks two-on-ones just get “a bad rap” and is hoping they’re going to have a fun, harmless day exploring the desert. Does she even watch the show?
She sits down with David first. In “the spirit of being honest,” David begins trash-talking his opponent immediately, claiming Jordan is constantly talking about all these models he wants to hook up with, even going so far as to say that Jordan feels like he would be “settling” with Becca.
She immediately confronts Jordan about this, who fiercely denies it all. In an effort to prove what a loyal partner he can be, Jordan opens up about his mother’s battle with “multiple mental illnesses” and the hardships his family faced while he was growing up.
Jordan, in turn, confronts David, who sticks to his version of events. Becca returns to separate them, clearly irritated that she’s being forced to act as their kindergarten teacher.
“I feel like I’m back in sixth grade,” she says. “This entire day has been not only frustrating, but it’s taking away from our conversation and getting to know you guys and having you get to know me. This is frustrating, this is annoying, this is petty.”
“Going into tonight, I still have so many questions,” she continues. “I think one of you guys has really taken the time to try and open up — and so with that, David, I think it’s just where we part ways.”
Becca and Jordan head back into the city to continue the date together. Just as you were starting to root for the walking Zoolander parody, he literally starts doing Blue Steel at dinner.
Jordan has never been more animated than when talking about his skincare routine.
“I have a million different things I can do with my face,” he says. “I can probably move every part of my face. I wish we could get my portfolio out!”
Becca humors him long enough to get through dinner before sending him on his merry way. And as a parting gift, Jordan leaves us with this gem:
“The thing I appreciate the most about her is that she stated that she never met anyone like me. I do feel unique. I’m smart. I have a look. I can speak, I can walk, I’m fit. I wish I knew what she didn’t like about me.”
COCKTAIL PARTY/ROSE CEREMONY
We’re down to 10 guys by the time the cocktail party rolls around. Becca grabs Chris first and he immediately demands “50,000 kisses.” Becca obviously refuses and instead asks for an explanation as to why she heard that he had been considering leaving the show after the group date.
He tries to make it up to her by telling her he’s falling for her, but there’s really no excuse for what was essentially a grown man throwing a temper tantrum. She tells him she needs some time to process everything. Instead of giving her space, Chris follows her around the entire cocktail party, essentially begging for her to give him a second chance.
Well, he gets his wish — he gets the last rose, sending home John in the process. Stay tuned for when he inevitably crashes and burns next Monday!
The Bachelorette airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.
