“The Bachelor” recap: Canadian achin'

This week, Joey takes the ladies to Montreal, where he sends one woman home early — and another self-eliminates.

I don’t know why, rose lovers, but it still freaks me out to hear The Bachelor host Jesse Palmer speaking fluent French. I'm just going to have to power through this week, as Joey and his ladies head to our neighbor in the North.

Let’s recap!

Things begin on a bit of a somber note, as we watch our Bachelor take a pensive stroll around Montreal. “I know I should be feeling great, but I’m really struggling,” he admits. “I’m falling for multiple women, and it scares me. I’m finding myself holding back in some ways, and I don’t like it.” Our sweet angel baby is worries that if he starts sharing his true feelings with the women he’s falling for, they’ll leave. “The last time I really opened up was with Charity,” he says. “When I think about letting multiple women in, knowing that it might not work out, it holds me back.”

Aww, look at him! Poor guy looks so sad.

The Bachelor says he’s doing his best to show his true feelings while also being “fun,” because right now he does not feel FUN, dammit. Joey says he feels like people expect him to be perfect, and the pressure is getting to him. “Most of my life I’ve been struggling with the fact that I don’t feel perfect. I feel like there’s a lot of s—t that’s wrong with me,” says the Bachelor, choking up.

Would someone please give this poor man a hug? He’s overtired and emotional and just needs a cup of cocoa a nice long nap.

Elsewhere, the ladies check in to the (promotional consideration provided by) Fairmont Le Reine Elizabeth hotel, and then take a stroll through downtown. “I heard the bacon here is different,” notes Lea, adding, “I would love to ride a moose.” Could someone make that happen? It’d be great to send Lea off into the wilderness, so we don’t have to deal with her during the first group date.

Oh, look! Here’s our host in yet another cozy sweater! And he’s about to interrogate the women en Francais.

None of the ladies know enough French to understand Jesse, so they just keep saying “oui oui” in response. Anyhow, Jesse announces that the first date of the week will be a group date, and he lists off the names without the help of a card: Daisy, Katelyn, Kelsey A., Jenn, Rachel, Lexi, Lea, and Jess. That means Kelsey T. and Maria will be getting the “very romantic” one-on-one dates this week! Congrats, ladies. Oh, and suck on that, Lea!

Today’s group date activity is a scavenger hunt. The clues are in French, but somehow Lexi figures out that their first stop is a souvenir shop down the street. And this time, none of the maple leaf flags are blurred.

Later, Joey and his harem arrive at “Jesse’s favorite restaurant in Montreal,” Garde Manger. Owner (and Canadian celebrity chef) Chuck Hughes invites the group to make their own poutine. Jenn adds pineapple, chocolate sauce, and siracha to her fries-cheese-curd-gravy concoction, which seems like a one-way ticket to diarrhea-town. Joey, bless his heart, takes a bite anyway.

I sure hope Team Bachelor has some Pepto on hand. Though he only rates the poutine a “four out of 10,” the Bachelor appreciates that Jenn is making an effort to create “little moments” that make him feel special. The other women can’t help but notice his “connection” with Jenn, and they do NOT love it. Lexi, Kelsey A., and Jess lament that they aren’t getting any alone time with Joey on the date. “I just don’t really understand why I haven’t had a one-on-one,” says Jess with a sigh. Girl, you’re on The Bachelor! Just join hands with all the sister wives and dance around your Rose God.

“It felt very culty,” says Kelsey A. of their ring-around-the-rosy moment. The whole date is bringing her down, because she feels “stuck in the shadows.” Sorry, ma’am, but that’s on you. Do you see how Rachel and Lea each walked up to Joey and gave him a big old smooch in the middle of the street hockey game? That’s called taking initiative. Try it.

Many of the women are feeling insecure as they head into the after-party. As soon as he walks in, Joey can sense that the mood is off. “Everyone feeling ok?” he asks, but the only response he gets is an uncomfortable chorus of nods and chuckles. “I really believe it,” he jokes. The Bachelor wants everyone to know that he’s doing his best to share his true feelings, and he hopes that they can all “dig a little deeper” in their conversations.

Katelyn goes first, and she almost immediately starts crying. “It’s really hard for me to see your connection with everyone else,” she says. “I guess, like, that coupled with no one-on-one, and stuff… It’s been a little hard.” Joey tries to reassure her that he wants to know “so much more” about her, and they share a little smooch. Kelsey A. is next, and their conversation is pretty similar. “I want to feel wanted,” she says, choking up. “I don’t want to just feel like I’m in the background.” (I’m doing everything I can not to scream THEN DON’T SIGN UP FOR A TV SHOW WHERE 30 WOMEN DATE ONE MAN, but it’s hard, rose lovers.)

“You don’t deserve to ever feel like you’re in the background,” says Joey. “You can’t be. It’s impossible for you to be. You have this brightness about you that is so different.” He says he has “zero doubts” about their connection, and Kelsey admits she’s falling for him. “Say it one more time,” Joey whispers, and they smooch.

When it’s Lexi’s turn, she asks Joey to clarify what his timing is on getting married. Does he want a long engagement, or does he imagine being settled with kids sooner rather than later? The Bachelor says that at the moment, he’s imagining a “two-to-three-year engagement,” and then being married for “a couple of years” before having kids. Honestly, this is one of the most practical “what do you see for your future” discussions we’ve seen on this show, so bravo to Lexi for asking and to Joey for being so clear about what he wants.

Lexi truly appreciates the Bachelor’s candor, but she’s not sure how she feels about waiting to have kids. “I need to sit and think on it,” she says in her confessional. I guess she’s ready to have kids now, and given her issues with endometriosis, she knows it could take a while — so waiting a few years, especially since she’s 30 right now, isn’t ideal.

Meanwhile, Jenn just told Joey that she’s falling for him, and he LOVES it. “I almost jumped up and started dancing when I heard that one,” says the Bachelor. “I don’t feel like I’m fully ready to say it, but I feel like I’m getting closer.”

After spending much of the night stressing out in the holding pen, Jess goes into her chat with Joey determined to Open Up™ to Joey about her feelings. “Any time spent with you is time well spent,” she says. “But it just gets hard seeing you connect with the other women here. It’s just scary, because I am falling for you… I just hope that you’re feeling the same things.”

Narrator: He’s not.

“To hear you say that you’re falling for me, it makes me feel so good,” says the Bachelor. “The problem I’m having is that when you feel that you should be able to picture it, and I don’t know why, I just haven’t been able to get there.” Joey goes on to tell Jess that she’s “unbelievable,” but she’s just not his person.

He walks her out of the hotel, and Jess is completely stunned as she gets into the Reject SUV. “That is like the last thing that I expected,” she sobs. “I just feel stupid. I didn’t expect not to be able to say bye to anyone.”

Joey returns to the holding pen and informs the women that he sent Jess home. Oh, and the date rose goes to Jenn.

The first one-on-one date of the week goes to Kelsey T. She’s excited, but nervous. “I don’t open up to people very often,” she says. “My trust level is at, like, a 0.0 percent.” Still, she’s going into the date determined to have fun and be her true self.

Kelsey will also need to be her most flexible self today, because she and Joey will be training with the acrobatic athletes at Cirque du Soleil! A nice woman named Marie-Michelle Faber greets them and says, “Love is like a leap of faith.” Oh wait, sorry — wrong date. Ms. Faber informs Joey and Kelsey that circus training will “test your trust between each other,” and that it’s important to “communicate together to find the same rhythm.”

“I’m gonna get sick!” says Joey. “I’m just not feeling great with the dizziness.” Again, does anyone have any Pepto Bismol handy? The Bachelor’s stomach is really taking a beating this week. And it’s not over yet!

Blech. Get this poor man a ginger ale.

Back at the hotel, Lexi is ruminating over her conversation with Joey about kids. “I do feel Joey came into my life for a reason,” she says, wiping away tears. “But is it the wrong timing?” Ultimately, Lexi decides she needs another one-on-one conversation with the Bachelor about this very complicated subject.

Let’s put a pin in that for the moment, though, because Kelsey T. and Joey have just arrived at dinner. On the menu tonight: Family trauma! Kelsey reveals that growing up, she was really close with her father — but then, he stopped talking to her “for a very long time.” The source of the rift, she explains, was his religion. Kelsey’s dad wanted her to dedicate herself to his religion — she doesn’t specify which one — and that wasn’t something she was willing to do. “Because I chose to go to college, he didn’t support that decision at all,” she says, her sad voice dropping to a whisper. “Anyone who was in his household has to be in the religion, and so I wasn’t allowed to be there anymore… and that hurt.”

Kelsey went to live with her mother, and her dad cut her out of his life. Understandably, this left her with major trust issues with men, “because if someone can be there for you in the beginning and then just totally go away, it’s hard.” Over the last few years, though, she and her dad have started reconnecting, but Kelsey says it’s still “a work in progress.”

Oh, Joey’s doing his signature Tear Wipe™ — everybody drink!

“You have every reason to have those trust issues,” says Joey, who praises Kelsey for being so “resilient” and “strong.” Do I even need to tell you that she gets the date rose? Then they smooch as an aerial silk performer twirls above them.

It’s overcast the morning of Maria’s one-on-one date, but she’s in a sunny mood — even though she’s not sure what the date will be. Enter the French-speaking butler!

Ooh la la! Looks like Maria’s getting the Pretty Woman date. (Suck on that, Lea!) The Bachelor is waiting for Maria outside, in front of a white Packard limousine. On the ride to their first stop, Maria asks Joey if he’s learned any French. Of course not! She tries to get him to say something naughty (“voulez vous coucher avec moi”), but Joey resists: “No! You’re just going to get me in trouble in another language.” The two continue giggling and teasing each other the entire ride, and I’ll admit it’s pretty cute.

At last, Joey and Maria arrive at the Claudette Floyd boutique, where they’re greeted by none other than Claudette Floyd herself. “Joey’s arranged for you to choose a special gown for your special date,” she says. “Today, it’s all about you.”

One dressing room montage later, Maria and Joey are all glammed up and ready for part two of their date. (Feel free to shop Maria’s dress, if you’ve got $1,335 to spare.) Back in the limo, Maria tricks the Bachelor into saying j’taime multiple times.

The limo pulls up to a private airport, and for a second Maria fears that Joey made her put on an evening gown to… jump out of a helicopter? Yeah, that’s a no. Silly girl, you’re just taking a quick flight across town to the Rialto theater. Because I think way too much about this stuff, I was curious about how far the Claudette boutique is from the Rialto theater. Rose lovers, you’re not going to believe this:

It’s a four-minute drive. Four. Minutes. And they took… a helicopter??? I can’t with this show. I truly cannot.

All right, all right. I’ll let it go. At dinner, it’s time for Maria to Open Up™ about her past relationships. One ex-boyfriend “dangled the idea of an engagement” in front of her, but “it just didn’t happen,” so she chose to leave. “I just want someone to say what they want and mean it,” she says. “An engagement to me means marriage next.” In other words, Joey, this one isn’t going to wait around during a long engagement. Got it?

For now, though, Maria is happy with how things are going with Joey. “I’m falling for you in ways that I didn’t expect,” she reveals. “You make me happy.” The Bachelor LOVES it.

Before Joey hands Maria the date rose, he leads her into another room for a “private” concert by Feist. They end the evening by slow-dancing and smooching.

Hmmm… all the dates are done, and we still have about half an hour left to go in the episode. What could possibly take that long? Oh crap, looks like Lexi’s gone rogue:

Yep, she and her leather pants have descended upon Joey’s hotel room, because she needs to talk more about their respective procreation timelines. “I know that you want more of a long engagement, and you want after this to take some time before kids,” she says. “But that’s just not something that I have the privilege to do right now with my health situation.” Lexi adds that she simply must move at a “faster pace,” and she doesn’t expect Joey to make such a major adjustment to his own plans. “I think it would be unfair to keep me here when I am just on a different timeline,” she concludes, her voice catching in her throat.

Joey feels “crushed.” But the Bachelor is honest enough to recognize that Lexi’s decision is probably the best choice for both of them. “This isn’t what I thought was going to happen,” he says. “But you’re going to get everything you want, and you’re going to make a remarkable mother.” Awwww, THIS MAN.

Lexi heads back to the ladies’ hotel suite and shares a tearful goodbye with Maria and Daisy. “You can’t make someone ready for something that they’re not,” she says. “And he doesn’t need to be ready for that right now. That’s okay.” Correct, but it still sucks. Hang in there, Lexi — and props for doing what’s best for you.

There’s a bit of a pall hanging over the final cocktail part of the week, given Lexi’s surprise departure. Joey acknowledges that it’s been a tough week, but tries to kick off the night on a happy note: “I can’t wait to see each and every one of you. Cheers!”

One by one, the women try to life his spirits. Katelyn praises his “compassion” and “emotional intelligence,” while Daisy raises a “make or break” question: “I just really want to know if you can give good foot massages.”

“I like it, like, every night — maybe multiple times a night,” Daisy adds. (Same, girl.) Jenn uses her time to teach Joey a few chords on the piano… which happens to be right next to the holding pen where all the other women are waiting.

Yep, it’s awkward. “I’m just trying to hold on to the good convos that we have, knowing that he’s with the other women,” says Rachel. And when she sits down with Joey, she makes sure to offer him the validation he so often provides to her. “You truly are amazing,” she says. “You’re just so kind and such a good human being. Just know that you’re doing everything right.” I’m sorry, am I getting a little teary-eyed watching these women give Joey a confidence boost because they hate seeing him sad? Crap, I am! Damn this show.

Tink! Tink! Tink! Enter Jesse Palmer with his Butter Knife of Bad News. Joey announces that he’s going to have to say goodbye to “some amazing women,” and leaves the room. “He said ‘women’,” whispers Rachel. They were all hoping that only one person would go home, since Jess and Lexi left early. Nope.

That’s right, ladies. Joey will only be handing out three roses, which means two more women are going home tonight. Who will make it into the Circle of Safety™ with Maria, Kelsey T., and Jenn? Rose ceremony roll call!

Daisy, Kelsey A., and Rachel round out our final six, which means we must say goodbye to Katelyn. It also means we get to celebrate Lea’s departure. See ya, toots! Here’s hoping you watch this back and do some soul-searching.

And with that, Joey and his ever-shrinking harem are off to Jasper, Alberta! Before you go, rose lovers, allow me to pose a few questions. Joey believes he has a “connection” with all the women left, but which women do you think he likes the most? Were you surprised that Joey sent Jess home so early? And do you think Lexi would make a good Bachelorette? Let me know your thoughts on Twitter @kristengbaldwin or Bluesky @kristengbaldwin.bsky.social!

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.

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