Bachelor in Paradise recap: 1 couple bares it all and a former contestant returns for a second chance
Batten down the hatches! There's a tropical storm brewing on Tuesday's episode of Bachelor in Paradise.
Following Sierra's shocking exit on Monday, there are only seven women and twelve men left. The numbers aren't filling the remaining men with confidence, especially since three of the women — Lace, Serene, and Genevieve — are in relationships. So, Justin prays for an "Angel from Paradise" to save them.
Enter: Salley. Yes, she's the owner of the suitcase, but she's brought some new baggage with her too. After Wells and a producer hilariously claimed that she missed her flight due to "explosive diarrhea," she shares that the actual reason for her delayed arrival was because she got cold feet once again. "I checked my bags," she said. "I got to the gate and I was like, 'You know what? I can't do it.'"
Salley is met with mixed reactions. One one hand, Justin and Salley shared a kiss at Stagecoach Festival (a dangerous move in Bachelor in Paradise history), so she might be his ticket to stay.
On the other, Wells told Shanae and Genevieve that Salley quit Paradise after calling her ex-fiancé at the airport. When they pull her aside, Salley explains that she wanted to have a conversation with him before going on the show. Her relationship with her ex is obviously still important to her — she turned down three of the show's flights for it, after all — because talking about it causes Salley to get "pissed off."
ABC Salley is not pleased.
"If anyone here can't understand that I have respect for the guy that I was with before this, then I'm out," she snaps. "It is what it is, you know? And that's exactly why you don't trust anyone on this [bleep]-ing beach." Boom. Welcome to paradise!
Shanae and Genevieve maintain they just want people to be here for the right reasons. "There are also a lot of people here who are here for the wrong reasons, they just don't say it," Salley remarks. "I've been told a lot of things about other people that I would never breathe a word on this beach because I'm true to myself." Big missed opportunity. If you're gonna start a fight within your first fifteen minutes on TV, might as well go all out, right?
The damage, however, is done and Salley heads home. James labels the entire situation a "show up and blow up."
With another woman self-eliminating, the men are once again hoping for some type of miracle. Instead, the Bachelor in Paradise gods decide to throw another suitor into the mix: the Pizza King, Peter, from Michelle's season. After talking with the women, he finds one that makes the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie: Brittany. He asks her out on a date, which she accepts.
ABC The Pizza King, Peter, is here!
The pair end up on a yacht, drinking champagne and enjoying time in the water despite a horrible microphone malfunction that drowns out their entire conversation. Peter's moves aren't exactly a recipe for success when it comes to winning Brittany over, and the girl looks bored out of her mind as he brags about renting yachts, owning a jet ski, and that his "biggest phobia in life is not living my life." Yikes.
He leans in for a kiss, which she side-steps by giving him a hug instead. "I just met Pete and it's like, read the room," she shares. "That just made me feel really uncomfortable." Protect Brittany at all costs!
After returning to the beach, Peter grabs Romeo and Casey and trashes Brittany, saying that she "has an ulterior motive" and suggesting she wants to be an "Instagram model." Neither man appears to stand up for her, which is disappointing. "If I was at home and I took a girl out and we spent all day on a yacht together, okay, I promise you we would be hooking up," Peter proclaims. "My gut feeling has to tell me, 'Was it all an act?'" Sorry, Peter, but being mad that your date wasn't interested in you is never the correct response.
All's well that ends well, because Andrew confesses his feelings to Brittany and the two kiss. "Coming back to seeing Andrew, I felt just comfortable again," she said. "It was just kind of like a security blanket." Overall, a very sweet and wholesome end to a difficult date.
ABC Brittany and Andrew share a kiss.
Speaking of dates, Jacob and Jill meet a shaman who helps them perform a full moon ritual on their night out. The pair, who are comically endearing, strip down to their swimsuits, select crystals, and embark on a tantric breathing meditation together. (Yep, it's one of those dates.)
There are too many phenomenal quotes from this segment to share, so here is one gem: "It's funny when you go underwater and you can't breathe, you understand how valuable air really is." You're absolutely right, Jacob. Please never change.
After howling at the moon, the shaman asks if they'll get completely naked. Standing back-to-back, the pair answer questions about each other. When asked what he likes most about Jill, Jacob skips any personality traits and declares: "I love… buttocks?" Absolutely incredible. No comments.
ABC Jacob and Jill do tantric breathing exercises together.
Meanwhile, Shanae can't decide between Logan and James. Logan gives her his lucky bracelet, but Shanae notes that it's "hard not to think about James" when they're together. She begins to cry over how "undecided" she feels, adding, "I don't want to send the wrong one home and then I get screwed in the end."
ABC Shanae cries over her love triangle with Logan and James.
On top of everything, it's Ashley and Jared's last night and they need to boom boom as soon soon as possible. The couple cover the cameras before getting it on, so the Bachelor in Paradise creative team uses some stock footage of a hammer hitting a nail, someone screwing in a lightbulb, a flower blooming to help paint the picture instead. Why is this happening? I honestly couldn't tell you.
The cameras return "7 minutes, 57 seconds later" to see Jared laying on the bed while Ashley brushes her teeth. "That's marriage," he shares. "She'll fart up a storm one night and then we'll have sex the next night. That's true love right there." Really selling the fantasy, Jared!
Jacob and Jill seem happy when they return home from their date which, in Bachelor in Paradise, means that something terrible has to happen. What's the meanest thing they can do to Jill? Send down Kira — who is not only her rival, but was sent home last rose ceremony — to see if she can sway Jacob's feelings.
To his credit, Jacob kindly shuts down Kira's advances before comforting Jill. For one, blissful moment, it seems like paradise has calmed down… Just kidding! Kira and Romeo reunite and share a kiss before she asks him to leave the show too. He hesitates for an uncomfortably long time as he weighs his options (let's be real, he's most likely to go home next rose ceremony anyway) but agrees.
ABC Kira and Romeo leave paradise together.
During their exit interview, though, it looks like Romeo might already be regretting his choice. Not only is there this ominous music playing as Kira talks about their relationship, but he looks like he's internally screaming for help when they zoom closer.
Do you think Romeo made the right decision? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays on ABC.
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