“Bachelor in Paradise” bartender Wells Adams confirms that time slows down on that cursed beach

We're shockingly only at the fourth rose ceremony.

Each week, Bachelor in Paradise bartender/de facto therapist Wells Adams will share his insights about the latest ridiculous happenings on the beach. This week, Wells shares his thoughts via email on Blake and Jess' breakup, Rachel's exit, and the space-time continuum in Playa Escondida.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Given how everyone on the beach called her "baby Jess," were you surprised at how mature and thoughtful she was about her break-up with Blake?

 WELLS ADAMS: I think that nickname really just derives from her literal age. Just because someone is young doesn't mean they aren't emotionally mature. I mean look at me, I'm almost 40 and still do a lot of fart jokes at the bar! I found her to be incredibly evolved and was really proud of how she handled herself with Blake. Everyone is rooting for baby Jess!

Tyler and Mercedes also broke up this week. She thinks she got "played" by him, but Tyler says he was genuine in his effort to find a spark between them. Whose side are you on in this debate?

I'm in the middle and can see where they both are coming from. I don't think Tyler "played" her, but I do think he was protecting his heart a little bit. Especially after what happened with him and Brittany last season.

When Jesse Palmer welcomed the contestants to the "fourth rose ceremony," I thought I misheard him. It feels like these people have been on the beach for years. Why does time seem to slow down in Paradise???

Because it does. Paradise is located at the center of a super-massive black hole where the fabric of space-time is warped. Also, we took a week off for Thanksgiving, so I think it seems like everyone has been on the beach for a while!

After Mercedes gave Jordan her rose, Rachel felt she was left with no options at the rose ceremony and decided to leave. Meanwhile, Brayden was sent home, and in his exit interview he admitted that he screwed things up with Rachel. Is it wrong for me to hold out hope that they'll rekindle things post-Paradise?

Is it wrong to wish that? No. But do I want it to happen next season in Paradise where cameras are rolling to capture every moment of it? Yes. That sounds much more fun.

Finally, we have to talk about Taylor. The poor guy's time in Paradise began with no one knowing who he was and ended with him mistakenly thinking Jess called his name at the rose ceremony. In your opinion, should he hope for a Paradise re-do next summer, or is it better if he pretends this little trip to Mexico never happened?

Ugh, this whole storyline broke my heart. Let's do this: Taylor glow-up! We'll film a whole intro package with the Queer Eye guys and then boom! Straight to Paradise. Or better yet, just let the kid be the Bachelor. He deserves it.

The Bachelor in Paradise season 9 finale airs Thursday, December 7 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

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Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly.