Authors tweet hilarious advice on what NOT to say to a writer
Joanne Harris, author of Chocolat, is a Twitter trendsetter: Earlier this month, her tweets about sexism in the publishing industry caused a much-warranted stir across the internet. Then, on Tuesday, her hashtag #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter took the literary Twitterverse by storm, with authors far and wide weighing in on the most cringeworthy things they’ve heard.
From S.E. Hinton’s “I thought you were dead” to quite a few “helpful” suggestions of “Why don’t you write children’s books?” here are the best Tweets that we saw. Keep them in mind if you ever meet your literary heroes — and no, nobody wants to read your erotic fan fiction. Especially if it’s based on the writer’s characters.
I thought you were dead. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— S. E. Hinton (@se4realhinton) July 28, 2015
I'm worried you'll die before your series gets finished. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) July 28, 2015
People always tell me my life story is a book. I thought maybe you'd want to write it. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Jodi Picoult (@jodipicoult) July 28, 2015
8. "It must be lovely working from home. You can combine your writing with housework and childcare. " #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Joanne Harris (@Joannechocolat) July 28, 2015
'People will think it's ALL ABOUT ME' (Too many times.) #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Harriet Lane (@HarrietLane_) July 28, 2015
@kaliphyte Why don't you write children's books? There's a lot of money in that. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Diana Gabaldon (@Writer_DG) July 28, 2015
Will you read my erotic fanfic based on your characters?#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— GAIL SIMONE Thinks the Punisher Should Smile More (@GailSimone) July 28, 2015
Eye Surgeon: I'm thinking of writing a novel!
Me: Cool, I'm thinking of doing eye surgery!#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter— Harlan Coben (@HarlanCoben) July 28, 2015
#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter "That sounds like so much fun! Wish I could just sit around and write all day."
— Kat Kinsman (@kittenwithawhip) July 28, 2015
'I'm afraid no-one's turned up' #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Lissa Evans (@LissaKEvans) July 28, 2015
"I saw your little book at Barnes and Noble" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— (((Katha Pollitt))) (@KathaPollitt) July 28, 2015
I *always* answer this question with "one million." Then look for the bar at the party. https://t.co/43qcQSFdrQ
— Melissa de la Cruz (@MelissadelaCruz) July 28, 2015
‘Your character is a woman. You're also a woman! Are you the same pers—’
ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter— Samantha Shannon (@say_shannon) July 28, 2015
“I better be careful or you’ll put me in your book!” No. You’re not that interesting. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Ally Carter (@OfficiallyAlly) July 28, 2015
"Can you send me a free book?"
"Where's the trailer????"#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter— Rick Yancey (@RickYancey) July 28, 2015
I've heard all the #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter. Frequents:
Have I heard of you?
What are your books about?
How much money do you make?— Shannon Hale (@haleshannon) July 28, 2015
@Joannechocolat "I've got a great idea for a book! You write it and we'll split the profits!" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Elspeth Cooper (@ElspethCooper) July 28, 2015
9. You know what you should write about?
10. You don't really make anything up, though, do you?#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter— Alexander Chee (@alexanderchee) July 28, 2015
You're a writer? What a coincidence--I have a blog, too!#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— Jan Mieszkowski (@janmpdx) July 28, 2015
When I retire I'm going to write a book, too.#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter
— John Fox (@bookfox) July 28, 2015
Or to make things really easy for yourself, maybe take Adam P. Knave’s advice:
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