Après no ski and salacious rumors on the latest episode of ‘The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’
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Tuesday night’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” begins with a shot of Meredith Marks wearing — you’re not going to believe this — a blazer, and talking with her husband about her trip to Palm Springs with the other housewives. “I’m still kind of digesting a lot that went on,” Meredith tells Seth.
The insoluble fiber stuck in Meredith’s gut is Angie Katsanevas, who showed up to the Trixie Motel uninvited, and the feud between Lisa Barlow and Monica Garcia over whether or not Lisa is materialistic. I feel it’s important to note here that to be a star of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” being materialistic is a requisite for the job. Like, it’s the whole thing. If these women are not materialistic then I’m not watching.
Meredith then tells Seth that she has heard rumors about Angie K.’s marriage, which is what we call foreshadowing in the biz.
Later, Meredith meets Lisa at The Mint Facial Bar for a facial. Whilst a set of aestheticians rub various serums on their faces, Lisa reveals that she is banned from a local tanning salon after getting into an altercation with the salon employee. Honestly, that tracks.
Lisa tells Meredith she feels things were left unresolved in Palm Springs, so she’s going to throw a party to bring everyone together and get on the same page. Famous last words.
A few miles south, in Cottonwood Heights, Monica meets Whitney Rose for lunch at a distillery. While they eat at the bar, Whitney tells Monica that Monica’s behavior toward Lisa and Angie in Palm Springs gave her pause. “I don’t want to invest time in someone who goes for their friends like that,” she says. Monica defends herself by saying she’s going to call out any friend who is acting crazy. “Maybe you’re not used to dealing with someone like me,” she says to Whitney in a way that feels kind of like a threat.
Whitney warns Monica that her loyalty to Meredith may hurt her in the long run, and says Meredith tends to spread rumors anytime she feels attacked. Again, foreshadowing.
Later we find Whitney at home with her husband, Justin Rose, and their two children. Whitney explains in her confessional that Justin is going back to work after one year of unemployment. She says it was a noncompete that prevented him from working and look, I don’t know a lot, but I do know that’s not what a noncompete means.
Whitney and Justin discuss the logistics of housekeeping and kid pickup and drop-off between two full-time jobs in one of those rare “Housewives” scenes that feels like it could be any of us talking with our spouses. Whitney explains that her top priority is being present for her children, which is noble.
Meanwhile, in the Katsanevas home, Angie, her husband, Shawn, and her daughter, Elektra, are playing slapjack in their impossibly white, modern home. In even more foreshadowing (we get it already), Angie explains in her confessional that the birth of Elektra changed their marriage and she now sometimes she forgets she’s a wife and a mother, not just a mother. “I know my husband feels neglected,” she says.
Over in Park City, Heather and her two youngest daughters are skiing the Woodward mountain. During a hot chocolate break, Heather asks her daughters about the bullying they’ve encountered at school in the wake of her book release. It’s hard to tell if Heather is overreacting or if her daughters are downplaying how much it hurts them. Such is the forever dilemma of parenting.
Then it’s time for Lisa’s party at Bower Lodge in Eden. She’s calling this event “Après No Ski,” meaning just the snacks and drinks one would have after skiing without the skiing, which, I won’t lie, sounds great.
“This party is celebrating the fact that I’m a smart, successful woman,” Lisa says, which feels like a direct invitation for a fight with Monica and I respect it, until she says, “There’s a byproduct to working hard and that’s called money.” I think there are a number of hardworking individuals living in or near poverty who would like to have a long talk with Lisa. But this is “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” and it’s best to not think too hard about anything these women say.
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Whitney arrives with the shot ski, which is as the name implies — a ski embedded with shot glasses. All the other women arrive, in outfits ranging from overdressed to unhinged. Angie wears what can only sort of be called sunglasses. They look like the headband that one character on “Star Trek” wears — do not tell me who it is, I do not want to know.
The housewives begin their alcohol consumption, and a few drinks in, things start cooking. Monica confronts Lisa at the crepe bar and within a few seconds it turns into a shouting match over who is or isn’t materialistic that’s honestly kind of hard to follow. Jets and Snoop Dogg are mentioned at some point, different label names are dropped, and there’s an accusation of flying in a private jet.
At this point, Mary Cosby walks into the party, and she is in a mood. A worse mood than usual. She’ll spend her entire time at the event making snide remarks to the other women. More on that in a minute.
As quickly as it starts, the Monica and Lisa argument resolves, and Monica gets in line for another crepe.
Whitney, Angie and Lisa take to the dance floor, and Mary, doing her best impersonation of one of the old Muppet guys who sit in the balcony and criticize all the other Muppets, says, “Whitney looks cheap.”
Monica, in a move she’ll always regret, sits next to Mary and begins to eat her crepe. “You like to eat. Every time I see you you’re eating,” Mary says to Monica. “I love food,” Monica tells her, to which Mary says, “Don’t just eat your life away,” a comment that I would probably never recover from, but which Monica seems to take in stride. “I love that Mary is so unapologetically herself,” Monica says in her confessional, which I guess is one way to describe a woman who desperately needs to take a nap.
Monica, wisely, moves and sits next to Meredith, and the two gossip about Angie and how she seems to be lashing out.
Whitney pulls Monica aside to talk about Meredith’s threat to reveal a rumor about Angie. Whitney asks Monica if she knows what the rumor is, and Monica reveals that some people speculate that Shawn has relations with men while being married to Angie. Whitney says there is no way that rumor is true and decides they have to tell Angie.
“Heather, what made you wear that necklace?” Mary asks Heather from across the room. Heather defends her fashion choice, and Mary responds with, “You missed it on that one.”
Whitney and Monica find Angie, encourage her to have a drink, and then sit her down to reveal the rumors circulating about her. When Angie hears the rumors, she says, with flames in her eyes, “She is crazy,” then stands to find and confront Meredith.
What happens in that confrontation will be revealed next week.
