'Bachelorette' Hannah Brown Admits She 'Struggled' Balancing Her Faith With Fantasy Suites (Exclusive)
Faith is important to Hannah Brown, but so is following her heart.
The 24-year-old Bachelorette made headlines with her fiery post-premiere promo, in which she's seen defending her sexuality to one of her contestants and crying about him "judging" her. As she told ET's Lauren Zima on Tuesday, she's had a complex relationship with Christianity since losing her virginity before marriage; balancing her faith with possibly getting intimate with men in the fantasy suites was a "struggle" for her.
"I really struggled with what I was going to do with fantasy suites, but I didn't really want to think too much about it until we got there," Hannah said. "I had a lot of other things on my mind at that point... but really that was just a personal decision between me and whoever I decided to go into the fantasy suite with or decided not to."
The beauty queen wouldn't reveal whether her heated comment from the promo -- "I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me!" -- was in regards to the fantasy suites, but admitted that she's glad to shine a new light on religion through the series. She's especially pleased with the show choosing to air her prayer before she headed into the mansion on night one.
"A lot of times, people get Christianity and religion messed up, because your faith should be something personal in a relationship and it's not to judge others or say, 'Christianity is something you welcome others into.' It should be a place where people feel safe and welcomed... and not to feel judged or shamed." she explained. "Regardless of any thing that I've done that people might think, 'Oh, well, that deserved a scarlet letter,' that's not how it works. I can do whatever. I sinned daily, and Jesus still loves me. It's all washed, and if the Lord doesn't judge me and it's all forgiven, then no other man, woman, animal -- anything, I don't know -- can judge me!"
"I won't stand for it," Hannah added. "I'm going to speak my mind about it."
Viewers of Colton Underwood's season of The Bachelor saw Hannah briefly share her story of coming to terms with having sex before marriage.
"I shamed myself so much, I felt guilty for things. Even my first conversation about Colton, I talked about him being a virgin and me not, and how that really affected me, because I always thought that I would save myself for marriage and I hadn't, and how for a long time, I carried shame and guilt around. And then I realized that I shouldn't," Hannah shared. "Now that, honestly, my faith has grown so much and I've realized what a relationship with the Lord is really about, I don't have to carry that."
"And to ever have anybody make me feel that way, it's a little messed up, and I'm not going to stand for that. Because if I feel like that way, I know there's other people out in the world that feel that way, and maybe if I can stand up for myself, other people can feel like they can too," she declared.
Hannah hasn't been shy about embracing her sexuality so far, with her chemistry with multiple men -- including the controversial contestant Luke P. -- becoming abundantly clear. She also hasn't been shy about expressing when she's attracted to a man, even calling Luke P. "dessert."
"What's so funny is, I feel like I'm one of the least expected to do [talk about my sexuality], because I am like, this Southern, prissy [woman]. I don't kiss a lot of guys. But every women thinks about it, talks about it. We all talk about it with our girlfriends, and I'm just living my life and being real and speaking what I'm actually thinking. And look, he was like a dessert!" she joked.
So, could Luke P. be one of the guys she ends up taking to the fantasy suite? "I feel like he is really... bold. Goes all in," Hannah said. "I mean, doesn't everyone want to see him with his shirt off?"
Connor S. is another frontrunner. "He is a good kisser," she conceded. Big Mike is "just fun." "But then also so compassionate and a really good listener," Hannah added.
She thinks of Jed as a "music man." "He was really patient with my feelings and how I handled everything," she explained. "Jed just is a really stand up guy, and good looking too, has abs as well. And is talented. [He has a] good heart."
Tyler C. is another good looking guy -- or "hot" as Hannah declares. "He is just like, a chill dude. Really fun, we have a good time together," she gushed. Tyler G., whom Hannah had a one-on-one date with on Monday night's episode, was "really calming and nurturing." But fans will have to "wait and see" what happens to their relationship. Pilot Peter, meanwhile, is a "sweetheart."
And while she can only end up with one man, Hannah hopes her frontrunners all get happy endings. (She also wants one of them to become the next Bachelor.) "I really put my heart into everything and was very vulnerable, but I want these men to find happiness," she shared.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. Join ET's Bachelor Nation Facebook group here.
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