Angie Harrington Reveals She's Leaving 'Real Housewives of Salt Lake City' to Care for Son with Autism (Exclusive)
Angie Harrington and husband Chris' 4-year-old son, Hart, received an autism diagnosis in the fall
Angie Harrington is putting family first.
In a conversation with PEOPLE confirming that she will be leaving The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the mom of three, 41, reveals for the first time that son Hart with husband Chris Harrington has been diagnosed with autism.
The road to receiving a diagnosis wasn't easy for the blended family of seven, which also includes the reality star's older sons, Cole, 15, and Rome, 18, as well as her husband's older two children.
"I think we noticed that something wasn't typical with Hart, probably around age one," Angie tells PEOPLE. "He was extremely advanced physically. He was walking by 9 months. He was climbing on things, but he wasn't saying those little words that you expected your 1-year-old to start saying."
As the couple tried to explore what Hart's differences might be, COVID hit and made it difficult to get a conclusive answer.
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"As you can imagine, everything was over Zoom, and oftentimes, when it's about autism, it's about the nuances and watching a child's behavior. So we tried to do it over Zoom and it just came back inconclusive," she explains. "They just wanted to do more testing, and so once COVID was over, that's when we took him in to get an evaluation."
When Hart was 3, Angie tried enrolling him in preschool, calling the process "extremely challenging."
"As a parent, I would have to stay in there for the first 30 minutes and then sneak out, and he would freak out. So I was sitting in preschool with all these 3-year-olds. I would watch him with the other kids, and the other kids would follow the instructions," Angie recalls.
"Hart would be wandering around the classroom, getting into the teacher's supplies. And I just remember getting in my car crying, just feeling like the biggest failure because I thought this was my fault as a parent, that I had done something wrong."
"I remember going home to my husband and just saying, 'Daddy, he's different. Our boy is different,' and we knew it, but this moment was very defining for us."
In November 2022, Hart underwent a series of tests. Angie received a call from doctors about two hours later, she shares.
"He was like, 'Okay, your son has autism.' We were like, 'Well, whoa. I thought you're gonna prepare us for this,' " she recalls. "It was very clinical if that makes sense. And so that was an intense moment for sure. But at the same time, knowledge is power. We believe that."
Still, "it was heavy," she concedes. "We cried. It wasn't the dream we had for our child, but we had to and have empowered ourselves."
Angie and Chris took some time to digest the news before sharing it with family over the holidays.
"We wanted to make sure that we had coped with it, and we were in an appropriate headspace to give the rest of the family the news," she tells PEOPLE.
While she says family members weren't "extremely surprised," she notes, "You just never think it's going to be your reality."
The revelation managed to bring the family "a lot closer," with Angie noting, "It's made us all bond on a different level."
"We all come together to protect Hart and love Hart and do whatever we can to help him through this process. My husband has a transgender child and it's been sweet to see our transgender child look out for him because he knows some of the challenges Hart's gonna face. Of course, it's different, but it's also aligned in a lot of ways," she emotionally shares.
These days, a lot of Angie's time is spent finding different ways to connect with Hart. Most recently, dance has been a hit, which is thrilling for the former Utah Jazz dancer.
"It's really sweet, actually. I credit my years and years of dancing with my ability to be disciplined and focused because ADHD, it's challenging. With Hart, I see it healing him as well because oftentimes, children with autism are drawn to music and they have a gift of hearing pitches and sounds, from what I'm learning. I think he really resonates with music."
She continues, "It's been very healing, and it's a fun way for us to connect. It's great because in those moments, I can typically get a bit of eye contact out of him, which is a challenge when you have an autistic child. Dance has been really great for us to connect."
The family is also working with therapists and exploring holistic methods, "trying to get creative every day."
"And quite honestly, I feel like that's another thing parents need to know. It's very normal to feel overwhelmed, to feel that you lack the ability to handle this, to feel like you don't know what you're doing. All you can do is the best you can do," she says. "I mean, there are times at night, I just climb into bed and my brain is so fried. My husband will start talking to me, and I'll be like, 'I need an hour.' I'm exhausted. My brain is exhausted. I really feel for other parents raising children with autism."
By sharing her family's story, Angie is hoping to reduce some of the stigma around neurodivergence.
"I think it's so important to hear other people's stories and understand so many neurodivergent people are so defined by their diagnosis by others," says Angie. "They have the same feelings and the same fears and excitements and joys that we all have. Of course, I'm not an expert. I'm still learning every day."
She's also hopeful that parents of neurotypical kids will understand how common neurodivergence is and how these children's different behaviors aren't a consequence of parenting.
"We have had some pretty big meltdowns on airplanes, which is pretty common for children with autism. What other adults don't understand is if your child's acting hysterical, it could quite possibly be because they have autism. We've had some really negative experiences with judgmental people who curse at us because we can't calm our child down on an airplane, and that's really stressful," she shares.
"Those are the moments where you want to burst into tears because you're like, 'I'm doing everything I can, and he's not okay. I don't know what to do now,' " she continues. "I understand that a screaming child on an airplane is no fun for anyone, but I think it's important that people understand that we just don't know what people are going through. It's not always a lack of discipline in a child, you know?"
The family has been working on making lifestyle adjustments to provide Hart with the best support he can get while also providing Angie and Chris support as they hold each other up through this journey.
"We've adjusted our lifestyle for sure to fit Hart's needs. My husband is a wonderful father, and so he's been great at coming home earlier. He was a 60, 70-hour workweek guy, and now he's more of a 40-hour work-week guy," Angie explains.
"We have hired a part-time nanny to make sure we get our time because it's important that he and I stay connected. We spend a lot of our time together doing new activities, getting outdoors, to kind of remove our brain from the situation at home, just for a minute," she says. "That's our main priority, of course, but it is important to make sure you're looking after yourself and enjoying yourself as well."
"Life isn't the same, but that's okay. It's our new normal and you just have to come up with the plan that works for your family so that everyone's getting their needs met. And we're still trying to figure that out quite honestly."
For Angie, that means stepping away from The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
"I was offered to come back but this is just a time when my family really needs me, and I wasn't able to commit to it," she tells PEOPLE, going on to explain how difficult sustaining full-time employment is for parents of children with autism. "Statistics say that they make 56% less money than somebody with a neurotypical child."
Angie says she's received support from castmates Heather Gay and Meredith Marks, to who she's disclosed Hart's diagnosis.
"I shared with them that I have to choose my family right now. I already struggle with focus and the show adds another element of stress. I want to be able to give my kids what they need in this moment. And I have to wrap my head around what we're doing with Hart in order to know how I can continue forward in my work as well.," she says. "They were extremely supportive and wonderful."
Angie has plenty of fond memories of her time on the reality series, though she admits that as someone with anxiety and ADHD, there were times when filming was "highly uncomfortable."
"It's hard to get the full story on what's going on. I think nobody's naive to the fact that things get edited in a certain way to create a television show, but I think it's important that people know it's not for the faint of heart," she says.
"I am typically not someone who would like to have contention in my life. I think with the ADHD comes the gift of humor and silliness and being unfiltered and saying and doing things that are entertaining," Angie muses of her casting.
"But I also was able to raise awareness for the transgender community on that show, so I'm forever grateful for that. And I cannot tell you the number of direct messages and notes I would get from people in the transgender community or who have a transgender loved one saying, 'Thank you so much. We feel seen, we feel heard.' That was worth all the challenges that reality TV can bring."
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