'American Grit': 'You're So Distasteful, You're The Worst Person'
John Cena is such a charming fellow, his dense muscle-mass floats over the heavy dreariness of American Grit, a new Fox competition series that tests the endurance of its contestants, and of its viewers. The wrestling champ and actor (Trainwreck, Sisters) brings an easy smile and a fluid ease to what is essentially a Jeff Probst reality-TV role, presiding over a wilderness contest.
The idea is to give a number of civilians the chance to compete as divided-up teams led by various military veterans of the Army, Navy, and Marines. (The most familiar face is probably Army sergeant and Dancing With the Stars veteran Noah Galloway.) The contestants include civilians with disciplined backgrounds; they include a SWAT cop, a “roller derby queen,” a “celebrity fitness trainer,” and someone defined entirely as “A No-Excuses Mom.” The premiere episode finds the teams of four hoisting a 120-pound log across three miles of obstacles, culminating in an endurance test called “the Circus.” The loser of that “rings out” (i.e., he or she gives a desultory yank on a giant bell) and goes home, eliminated. Early in the hour, it becomes clear which contestant most of the participants — but perhaps not the home viewers — would like to see evicted first: Chris, the oh-so-cocky fitness trainer.
Chris is sculpted to be a reality-show villain. He tells the camera in his introductory interview that “normal people are weak and stupid” (note to self: check for possible Donald Trump plagiarism), and soon after tells another competitor for utterly no apparent reason, “You’re so distasteful; you’re the worst person.” No, you’re the worst person!, the producers want us to be shouting at the screen, but it’s hard to do that, since Chris is also one of the few people besides Cena who exhibits much of a personality. He’d make a good villain if only his insults didn’t sound so scripted. Who goes around saying, “What in the wide world of sports makes her so insecure about me?”
American Grit is sluggishly paced, and plays like one of those weeks on Survivor when everyone is just waiting for the visit from their “loved ones” so they can cry and hug a little before the next test of strength. I’d rather watch Cena and Noah Galloway team up and enter the next season of The Amazing Race.
American Grit airs Thursday nights at 9 p.m. on Fox.
