Amber Heard Says Being Cross-Examined About Johnny Depp's Alleged Sexual Assault Was the 'Scariest' Thing

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Savannah Guthrie's exclusive interview with Amber Heard
Savannah Guthrie's exclusive interview with Amber Heard

TODAY/NBC

Amber Heard is sharing her experience of being on the witness stand during her trial with ex-husband Johnny Depp.

On Friday, Heard, 36, appeared on an NBC News Dateline special and said it was terrifying to be cross-examined by Depp's legal team her about her sexual assault claims against the Pirates of the Caribbean actor.

"The scariest, most intimidating thing for anybody talking about sexual violence is not being believed, being called a liar, or being humiliated," said Heard.

Earlier this month, Depp won all three defamation claims in his case against Heard over her 2018 op-ed about coming forward as a survivor of domestic abuse. The jury awarded Depp $15 million in damages but Heard will only have to pay $10.35 million due to Virginia law cap on punitive damages (the judge reduced the amount.)

Related video: Juror in Depp trial says jury didn't believe Amber Heard's 'crocodile tears'

Additionally, the seven-person jury awarded Heard $2 million in damages for her counterclaims against Depp. Heard's attorney said the actress will "absolutely" appeal the verdict against her.

During Friday's special, Heard also alleged that a piece of evidence that was not allowed in the courtroom could've changed the verdict.

RELATED: Juror in Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Trial Disputes Claim Jury Was Influenced by Social Media

Actor Johnny Depp testifies during his defamation trial against his ex-wife Amber Heard, at the Fairfax County Circuit Courthouse in Fairfax, Virginia, April 21, 2022. - Depp is suing ex-wife Heard for libel after she wrote an op-ed piece in The Washington Post in 2018 referring to herself as a public figure representing domestic abuse. US actress Amber Heard speaks to her attorney at the Fairfax County Circuit Courthouse in Fairfax, Virginia, on April 19, 2022. - US actor Johnny Depp is suing ex-wife Heard for libel after she wrote an op-ed piece in The Washington Post in 2018 referring to herself as a public figure representing domestic abuse.
Actor Johnny Depp testifies during his defamation trial against his ex-wife Amber Heard, at the Fairfax County Circuit Courthouse in Fairfax, Virginia, April 21, 2022. - Depp is suing ex-wife Heard for libel after she wrote an op-ed piece in The Washington Post in 2018 referring to herself as a public figure representing domestic abuse. US actress Amber Heard speaks to her attorney at the Fairfax County Circuit Courthouse in Fairfax, Virginia, on April 19, 2022. - US actor Johnny Depp is suing ex-wife Heard for libel after she wrote an op-ed piece in The Washington Post in 2018 referring to herself as a public figure representing domestic abuse.

JIM LO SCALZO/POOL/AFP via Getty; JIM WATSON/POOL/AFP via Getty Johnny Depp; Amber Heard

"There's a binder worth of years of notes dating back to 2011 from the very beginning of my relationship that were taken by my doctor, who I was reporting the abuse to," she told NBC News' Savannah Guthrie. "Her notes represented years — years — of real-time explanations of what was going on," Heard claimed, after Guthrie, 50, asked whether there was any evidence that wasn't presented that would've made all the difference.

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Shared on Dateline, the notes stated that the Aquaman actress told her therapist Depp "hit her" and "threw her on the floor" in January 2012 and, eight months later, "ripped her nightgown" and "threw her on the bed." Heard further alleged that the Rum Diary actor "threw her against a wall and threatened to kill her" in 2013, per the notes.

RELATED: Amber Heard on What She'll Tell Daughter About Johnny Depp and Trial: 'It Will Mean Something'

"The judge ruled those notes were hearsay and inadmissible," Guthrie — whose husband Michael Feldman has done consulting work for Depp's legal team, though not in connection with Guthrie's interview — said in a voiceover in the special.

Speaking to her decision to do the sit-down, which marked her first on-camera interview since the trial ended, Heard told Guthrie, "One thing I can tell you is one thing I'm not is vindictive. There's no part of me that sees any ... This would be a really lousy way to get vengeance."

Guthrie then asked, "What do you hope to get across here? You've had everything said about you. What do you wish people knew?"

RELATED VIDEO: Amber Heard Responds to Johnny Depp's Message About Moving Forward: 'Women's Rights Are Moving Backward'

"You know, Savannah, as silly as it is to say this out loud," Heard responded, "My goal, the only thing I could hope for at this point, is I just want people to see me as a human being."

She also said she still has love for Depp, despite the trial and their tumultuous relationship. "I have no bad feelings or ill will to him at all," said Heard, admitting that "might be hard to understand." She also said she will stand by every word of her testimony "until my dying day" and referred to herself as a "survivor."

A spokesperson for Depp told NBC News in response to the interview, "It's unfortunate that while Johnny is looking to move forward with his life, the defendant and her team are back to repeating, reimagining and re-litigating matters that have already been decided by the Court and a verdict that was unanimously and unequivocally decided by a jury in Johnny's favor."

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.