Amanza Smith Says She Was Sexually Abused by 2 Family Members as a Child: 'I Put On a Very Strong Face'

Grace Fries

Amanza Smith is opening up for the first time about a dark chapter of her past.

In a cover story for Mr. Warburton's digital magazine, the Selling Sunset reality star claims that she was sexually abused between the ages of three and eleven by two members of her family.

"I put on a very strong face, which comes from the fact that from the time I was three years old, I was sexually abused by somebody very close to me, and you have to pretend like that's not happening," Smith says in the interview.

PEOPLE reached out to the living accused family member and did not receive a reply.

Smith says because of what happened to her, she developed a "protection" or "survival skill" to help her process bad situations, and she didn't realize until she had children of her own how the trauma from her childhood truly affected her.

Grace Fries

"Until God gave me a baby girl, it did not click," she says. "It hit me one day when my daughter was almost two, and I was pregnant with my son. I imagined everything that happened to me happening to her. And it changed everything."

She continues, "Suddenly everything made sense: All of the things I had struggled with in my teens, addiction in my 20s, ways I felt I failed, was not motivated, and felt in some way different from my friends."

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The real estate agent said since then, she has "done so much work" to get to a better place.

"I truly believe that everything happens for a reason," Smith says. "I would change nothing in my life. I would be born again, and I would live the exact same life of trauma and abuse. I would do it all over again because I am strong enough. I was chosen to go through that. Now I can be a voice to help others get through it."

Grace Fries

RELATED: 'Selling Sunset's' Amanza Smith Has 'Amazing' Secret Boyfriend: 'All My Friends Know'

Prior to her debut on Selling Sunset in season two, Smith was married to former NFL player Ralph Brown between 2010 and 2012, and the two share daughter Noah and son Baker. In 2019, Brown disappeared and Smith has still not been able to locate him, telling PEOPLE in 2020, "he doesn't want to be found."

She sought full custody of their children and was eventually awarded full custody last October, releasing a statement to PEOPLE that said: "I'm relieved that this long process is over. It's been incredibly hard on me and especially the children. We will never be 'over' the absence of their father, but hopefully we can move forward in a more positive way now that we are unhindered by the legal obstacles that prevented me from making the decisions that are best for us as a family of three."

Grace Fries

Last year Smith opened up about her mental-health struggles amid the search for her missing ex-husband, sharing a tearful selfie on Instagram.

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"This was me last night at 4am when I couldn't sleep because so much was on my mind," Smith captioned the post.

"It's ok not to be ok," she said elsewhere in the post. "Many people are afraid to be open about mental health. You all see me very strong and I appreciate so much the support I have gotten thru fans and friends for the way I carry myself thru this difficult new journey as a full time working single mom."

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.