Allison Holker Boss Says Her Late Husband tWitch's 'Wisdom, Joy and Intuition' Live On in Their 3 Kids
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Four months after the death of Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, his wife Allison Holker Boss and their kids Weslie, Maddox and Zaia are finding courage in each other
As she grieves her husband, Allison Holker Boss is finding courage in their three children.
Sitting down with PEOPLE in the Los Angeles-area home she shared with Stephen 'tWitch' Boss for her first interview since his death by suicide at age 40, the dancer and TV host opened up about keeping her kids close as they find a way forward.
"My kids and I always had such a strong unit, but at this time there is just a different bond that we share. I always want to make sure that they see me really strong for them, but it's been amazing to see that my kids are also there for me now," says Holker, 35, of daughters Weslie, 14, Zaia, 3, and son Maddox, 7.
"I'm so proud of them, and of how they're willing to feel and communicate with me. They're open to asking me questions, and we try to find our way together," she continues. "Sometimes it breaks my heart that they have to feel that pressure to take care of me, but that's a true testament to Stephen, because that's what he would have done."
Since Stephen's death last December, Allison has been intentional about making sure their family has continued making joyful memories and celebrating milestones.
"It's so important my kids are cared for right now. I want them to see you can still be you and be an individual. All of us finding our joy and coming together is where we're going to find happiness as a family," she says.
Together, they still have meaningful conversations with Dad. "The reason the stars are so important to me is because that's where we believe he is," she says. "So we go out there, and we talk to him. I've told them if they ever need him, he's always listening. He's guiding and he's protecting. We still feel his presence with us."
Allison also sees the best parts of Stephen in their children. "Weslie is his wisdom, Maddox is his joy, and our youngest, Zaia, is his intuition," she says. "They all have these really special, unique energies about them. They lean into it and they inspire me every single day."
At Stephen's celebration of life service (where they launched the Move with Kindness Foundation) in February, Weslie inspired Allison by sharing a "wonderful and honest" dedication onstage.
"They had such a beautiful relationship. It was so depth-filled, and they were just the coolest people together," Allison says of the father-daughter duo. "Weslie was the first one to go back to school. Seeing her be so strong, and then we got Maddox back into school, I was like, 'Okay, my kids are feeling settled. I think I can do this too,'" she recalls.
One of the first times Allison belly-laughed after losing Stephen was with her teen daughter. "We found ourselves going over memories, and we started laughing so hard," she says. "We actually questioned it at first because it almost made us feel weird to find laughter."
Related:Allison Holker Thanks Fans for 'Hope and Inspiration' After Death of Stephen 'tWitch' Boss
The moment sparked a long discussion between them, and ultimately "we knew that Stephen would want us to be laughing together," she says. "He was sharing in that moment with us. Now in our house, laughing with the kids is such a part of everything. It's a part of our healing, and the giggles remind me that we're going to be okay — and that we are okay."
For more on how Allison Holker Boss and her kids are continuing the legacy of Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.
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