Alan Cumming Says He Felt Suicidal Before Landing Goldeneye Role: 'Hollywood Saved Me'

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Alan Cumming attends the Golden Heart Awards 2021 benefiting God's Love We Deliver at The Glasshouse on October 18, 2021 in New York City.
Alan Cumming attends the Golden Heart Awards 2021 benefiting God's Love We Deliver at The Glasshouse on October 18, 2021 in New York City.

Sean Zanni/Patrick McMullan via Getty

Alan Cumming is reflecting on his struggles with mental health.

The 56-year-old actor spoke to Anthony Mason on CBS Mornings Tuesday about his new memoir Baggage: Tales from a Fully Packed Life. During the discussion, Cumming opened up about the difficulty he had navigating his divorce and the "abuse" he faced from his father as a child.

In the interview, Cumming revealed that one his "darkest moments" was the day he auditioned for the 1995 James Bond film Goldeneye. Looking back, he realizes that he was suicidal at the time.

"It was one of the worst days of my life actually. I felt really, really, really low. I just now think, 'Oh you poor little thing, you could've said I am feeling suicidal today,'" the actor said.

Scottish actor Alan Cumming stars as Russian computer programmer Boris Grishenko in the James Bond film 'GoldenEye', 1995.
Scottish actor Alan Cumming stars as Russian computer programmer Boris Grishenko in the James Bond film 'GoldenEye', 1995.

Keith Hamshere/Getty

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However, after receiving a call about landing the role as Boris Grishenko in the film, Cumming said his life turned around.

"That's something I realized when I was writing, like, oh my God, Hollywood saved me," he said. "I have this sort of mantra, which is 'Cancel, continue.' When something bad happens I think, okay that happened, we can't change that, let's move on."

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The Scottish actor's second memoir is a follow-up to his 2014 book Not My Father's Son. It details Cumming's painful upbringing as well as a behind-the-scenes look at how his childhood experiences trickled into his journey through Hollywood.

"When I was 28, I suddenly remembered all this stuff from my childhood," he said. "It's still with me, I still get triggered by things. And we all have baggage, we all have trauma."

Alan Cumming's Baggage: Tales from a Fully Packed Life is available now.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.