AHS: Delicate Recap: Great Scots, This Season Is Actually Getting Good!
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
Oh, you want lore? You want mythology?! Well, you’ve got it.
After inviting viewers to experience the dark side of the Hamptons, American Horror Story: Delicate relocates to a very different Hampton in Episode 4 — as in Hampton Court, England, circa 1955.
More from TVLine
The unexpected flashback brings Mary Queen of Scots into the mix, mere moments after she apparently gave birth to the antichrist — or possibly just a run-of-the-mill demon baby, it’s somewhat unclear — as part of a deal with those Women in Black we met on the beach last week. What’s more, those women turn out to be Leslie Grossman and Billie Lourd doing some truly unhinged (in the best way!) British accents.
Mary’s sister Elizabeth is understandably horrified to hear that she promised her child in exchange for “the most fruitful reign in England’s history,” and when the women suggest that Elizabeth will someday do the same, she refuses. In exchange for her insolence, Grossman’s character — totally unprovoked, let’s be real — decides to curse Elizabeth with a barren womb. (I’ll be honest, much of what I know about this part of history is from The CW’s Reign, and I’m pretty sure they covered absolutely none of this.)
We then return to the present, where Dex is still gaslighting the ever-loving crap out of his wife, and Anna is… nursing a dead raccoon she found in the backyard? Sorry, that shouldn’t have ended with a question mark. She’s nursing a dead raccoon she found in the backyard!!! And when Nicolette dares to suggest that she probably (definitely!) shouldn’t be toting a bloody carcass around the house, Anna hits back with “Go home to your own baby, Nicolette.” (Like, what are you even implying here, lady?)
We’re then reintroduced to Lourd and Grossman’s characters in the present, only now they’re known as Ashley and Ashleigh, the top crisis PR experts in the country. Even forgetting what we saw earlier in the episode, it’s clear that these women are evil. How do I know this? It’s not because they previously repped Louis C.K. It’s not even because they say things like, “The View died 20 years before Barbara Walters.” No, it’s because their solution to Anna’s image problem is for her to post an inspirational Instagram reel. Absolutely sick.
Because Anna insists on putting her trust in garbage people, she books another appointment with Dr. Hill, who shrugs his shoulders and says things like “It’s possible!” far more than any licensed physician should. After insisting that Anna miscarried last week, he’s positively gooped to discover that she is in fact still pregnant, leading him to dispense another diagnosis: vanishing twin syndrome, in which a non-viable embryo is expelled so the other can survive. That’s right, as if Anna didn’t already have enough cause to change doctors, he’s now basically saying, “Oops! I guess I missed that it was twins.”
At Ashleigh and Ashley’s behest, Anna announces her pregnancy via a black-and-white “reel” — which is clearly a YouTube video (pictured here), so I don’t know why they keep calling it a reel — in which she delivers a passionate pro-choice, pro-masturbation, pro-pooping speech that goes instantly viral. Taylor Swift reposts it. It’s a very big deal.
Meanwhile across town, Siobhan is giving Hamish the ride of his life. No, really. These two are apparently hooking up on the low, and I’m pretty sure his kink is being treated like crap. Or maybe that’s her kink. Either way, I’m surprised it took four whole episodes of a Ryan Murphy show for us to get something even remotely close to a sex scene. Siobhan makes it clear that this arrangement is merely transactional (“I’m using you and you’re using me!”) before alluding to a shared secret: “We know what happened, but no one else can,” she tells him. “Otherwise I’ll break your dick off.” (Aaaand we’re back to kinks.)
OK, now we need to talk about Dex’s mom, who is weirdly against the idea of him and Anna having children. “Why a woman would choose a baby over a collection of fine German vibrators is beyond me,” she says… loudly… to her son… in the middle of a restaurant. Then, out of absolutely effing nowhere, she reminds Dex that his father “Satanically abused” her for years, drugging her and forcing hideous acts upon her. (Sound familiar?) Dex dismisses this as utter nonsense, but he has a well-documented history of not believing women, so you’ll excuse my lack of surprise.
The episode ends, as all episodes do, with a truly WTF moment. And I’m not talking about Anna getting a Golden Globe nomination, which was all but guaranteed. I’m talking about how she celebrates by dribbling blood onto that dead raccoon and eating it. Can you imagine being the journalist that gets to ask where she was when she heard about her nomination, then having her be like, “So I was munching on this dead raccoon that I’ve been nursing…”
Honestly, I only have one complaint about this episode, and it’s not even about the episode: How is next week already the finale of Part 1? We’re just getting to the good stuff!
Your thoughts on this week’s AHS: Delicate? Drop ’em in a comment below.
Best of TVLine
Get more from TVLine.com: Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Newsletter
