Abbey's Road: Mom's role as equipment manager on a snowy day

Well, it came a month and a half too late, but I can hardly complain: Finally — a good snowfall! Enough for our local plow crew to set down their coffee cups and hit the main roads! Enough for sledding and igloos and snow angels and hot chocolate afterward! THIS is what winter should feel like.

It’s debatable who in our family gets the most excited about snow: The kids or me. (Mr. Roy is ambivalent, but a very reliable Driveway Shoveler.) When I see those beautiful, gigantic flakes whirling past the glowing streetlight at bedtime, I feel like I’m a kid again, dreaming of walking outdoors in the winter wonderland, planning what fun snow day activities we might undertake.

On the mornings when we meander downstairs after Mr. Roy has called the entire school district to inform them that school is closed — arguably the most important aspect of his job as The Voice of Newark City Schools — it’s debatable who’s ready to head out the door first: The kids or me.

…Actually, that’s not debatable.

Because what I’ve come to realize over the past two snow days is that, as much as I enjoy playing in the snow, my real job as an adult on a snow day isn’t as Playmate — it’s as Equipment Manager.

I spent nine months forgetting that the first snowfall of the year brings inevitable equipment challenges.

Who fits into which snow pants, and who grew out of last year’s without my permission? Why do I have three Size 5s and no Size 12s?

No matter–wear these. They’re two sizes too small but your boots are two sizes too big so I think it’ll work out.

Speaking of boots, did I not buy you a pair on end-of-season clearance last year? Where are they? Why is there only one? Here, take mine, I’m sure if you just walk with high steps it’ll be fine.

So which of these 18 hats appeal to you today? None? Excellent choice. Now, the coat you’re wearing has no hood, though you could always try to find the one that’s nearly identical but has a hood attached. No, that’s your sister’s. But whatever. It’s fine.

Guys, we’re going to be outside in seven inches of snow so I’m going to recommend socks. Two pairs! Heck, make it three! I don’t care if they match, I quit that game when you were three months old.

…and so forth.

I could devote an entire column to gloves/mittens, but I’ll just say that Tiny missed out on the first round of snow play due to a glove-centric wardrobe malfunction reminiscent of “A Christmas Story” (“I can’t move my hands!”)

But the fun doesn’t end when everyone is dressed and out the door with sleeves and pant legs properly tucked into place, hair neatly beneath stocking caps and eyes bright with anticipation.

Because like a cat trying to leak out the door on a balmy spring afternoon, snow will find the tiniest opening between shirt and glove, pants and boot and leak through with everything it’s worth. And when that happens, someone (me!) needs to be on hand to re-tuck and re-tie and re-arrange.

When someone prematurely bails out of a sled and gets snow down their jacket, I’m waiting with open arms and a backup pair of mittens.

And when everyone has had enough, we march back up the driveway and directly into the basement, where I corral the colorful explosion of wet socks and gloves, dripping snow pants and snow-encrusted shirtsleeves and sprinkle them judiciously around registers throughout the house, where they will await the next round.

I’m going to be honest: Equipment management is my least favorite part of snow play, and if I could hire a robot to offload this duty, I most certainly would do it.

But the truth is that I love snow days so much, I’ll do everything I can to get my crew to playtime and back as efficiently as possible.

Even if that means sacrificing a boot. Or two.

Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at amroy@nncogannett.com, but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.

This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: Abbey's Road: Mom's role as equipment manager on a snowy day