'90 Day' 's Gabe Shows Isabel's Father Photos of Himself Before Transition: 'I Wanted to Die'
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Gabe is ready to marry Isabel, but he first has to secure her father's blessing after having an important conversation about his past
Gabe Paboga and Isabel Posada's father are sitting down to talk about everything on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way.
In PEOPLE's exclusive sneak peek at Sunday night's episode, the men sit down for a heart-to-heart conversation about Gabe's transition journey. The conservative father has been accepting that Gabe is transgender, but still has some questions about his past.
"The change from seeing yourself as a girl to now seeing yourself with a beard, with facial hair — how do you really feel?" Isabel's father asks in Spanish in the clip.
Gabe is honest about his life before the transition and why it feels so much more worthwhile now. "When I was that other person, I didn't like anything in my life," he says. "I didn't like my body, my face, nothing."
Gabe then hands over his phone and allows the dad to see photos of himself before his transition. "You want to know who I was? Here it is," Gabe tells cameras.
It all hits Isabel's dad at once. "Hearing Gabe say that he hated himself because of his situation of being a girl with so much pain is surprising to me," he tells cameras. "But I see how difficult it is because he didn't accept himself."
Gabe tells the dad the photos of himself before transitioning "remind me that every day I was alive, I wanted to die."
To cameras, Gabe shares how his life as a female "didn't match my brain."
"It felt like I had body parts that didn't belong there. It's like, if you have an imaginary arm sticking out here, and only you can see it — nobody else can. It's like, this doesn't belong here. Everybody's like, what are you talking about? You look just like everybody else. But you feel it. And you just want to change it."
"I didn't feel normal," he says.
Gabe also says, even in childhood, he wished he would wake up as a boy every night he went to sleep. "When you wish you were somebody else every day, it's really depressing," he says. "I put myself through hell just so I could be in the body that feels mine, and I don't feel like I want to die anymore."
Related:90 Day's Isabel Hopes Gabe Will 'Take on the Role of Father' to Her Kids as He Joins Family
A preview for Sunday night's episode shows Gabe will ask the father for his blessing to marry Isabel — though it's still unknown when that conversation will occur, or what the outcome will be.
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90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on TLC.
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