Warning: This article about the series premiere of Shadowhunters contains spoilers.
As someone who considers themselves something of a YA fiction guru, I was pretty darn excited to watch Shadowhunters and see what
ABC Family Freeform would do with Cassandra Clare’s bestselling teens-n-demons book series The Mortal Instruments. And, no, the box office bomb starring Lily Collins and Jamie Campbell Bower did not deter me. It just made me more curious to see what a TV adaptation would look like.
For the most part, I was entertained by the first episode… though as you’ll see from this play-by-play, my mind did wander occasionally.
1) This opening song, “Monsters” by Ruelle, is pretty much perfect for introducing this world to the TV audience.
2) I’m deeply confused: One minute, Clary is having her portfolio evaluated for entrance into the Brooklyn Academy of Art, and seconds later, she has a typed acceptance letter. This is not how the world works. Even the supernatural world.
Simon Lewis (Alberto Rosende) and Clary Fray (Katherine McNamara) (Photo: Freeform)
3) Wow, they aren’t wasting their time setting up the pining-BFF storyline. Clary: “Simon, how can someone as smart and perceptive as you not realize that the person sitting right there is in love you?” Simon: “I can guarantee you I’m not the only smart, perceptive person to make that mistake.” Clever point to the bespectacled one.
4) I’m very confused about this real/drawn biscotti thing. Also, a biscotti sounds really good right now.
5) This Captain Vargas wasn’t in the book, and given how pushy she is, with her whole “Marry Jocelyn. What are you waiting for?” business, I’m not sure if she’ll be a welcome addition.
6) Luke making that dog chill was cool, but where is Terry Crews shouting about Bearglove?
7) I want to be Simon’s 93rd Twitter follower.
Clary and Jocelyn Fray (Maxim Roy) (Photo: Freeform)
8) If your mom gave you a gift and told you it was a precious family heirloom, would you just put it in your small hoodie pocket, where it could easily fall out, and take it for a night on the town? No, you wouldn’t. You’d leave it on your dresser like a normal person.
9) Clary: “My mother is incapable of concealing anything from me.” Spoken like a clueless teen.
10) There are a lot of people at the Institute. That’s pretty much what I’m taking away from that mission conversation. That, and something about lazy vampires.
11) I guess Rock Solid Panda is better than Champagne Enema?
Clary Fray and Jace Wayland (Dominic Sherwood) (Photo: Freeform)
12) Jace: “How can I not know who you are?” Clary: “Has that line seriously ever worked for you, even once?” I dunno, Clary. It would probably work on me. And who are you kidding? It worked on you, too.
Magnus Bane (Harry Shum Jr.)
13) Holy crap – Harry Shum Jr. looks smokin’! (Plus, it’s Magnus’s club — that’s a pretty cool shift from book). Seriously, this cast is ridiculously attractive.
14) The attractive people in this club have terrible dance moves.
Isabelle Lightwood (Emeraude Toubia) (Photo: Freeform)
15) I’m getting a Fifth Element/Comic-Con vibe from Isabelle’s rubber getup. Also, why does she need to let her hair down to lure the demons? But I totally get why it worked.
16) These seraph blades might be a little too much like light sabers, sound effects and all. Just sayin’.
17) “Drive!” is not a thing that works with New York cabbies.
18) Seriously, that Captain Vergas is really nosy. Someone should probably talk to H.R. about her.
19) It is VERY dark in this police station. Are they trying to save money?
20) Of course creepy
King Henry from Reign Valentine would be hanging out in Chernobyl.
21) So suddenly it’s pouring rain? I guess they had to get the fire out of Clary’s room somehow.
22) Demon Dot turning on Clary was a nice call out to a big moment the books. Also, “Demon Dot” sounds like “Dippin’ Dots,” that weird ice cream you get at the mall. And now I’m hungry again.
23) Clary: “You’re just saying words now.” YES! That’s what they’ve been doing this whole time! They do that on all the shows!
24) I’m Isabelle, and we’re going to be best friends. I’m basically Alice from Twilight, except way sexier (sorry, Ashley Greene).
25) I’m Jace, and I’m super bossy-pants. But you’re going to crush on me anyway.
26) Clary: “You do not tattoo my neck. That’s creepy.” If you really thought someone gave you a tattoo without your permission, you’d be a little more pissed. And don’t even get me started about her lack of concern at waking up in a strange bed without any pants.
27) Glamorizing: An excuse to see Jace’s abs. I approve.
28) Looks like Valentine is a bossy pants like Jace. Hmm…
Shadowhunters airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Freeform. I’ll be watching. Will you?