The 37 Best Home Alone Quotes To Get You Ready for the Holidays
Is Christmas even Christmas without Home Alone? Well, since 1990 it hasn’t been in our honest opinion. If you are anything like us, then Home Alone is a part of your annual holiday movie tradition, and unless you are seeing the film for the very first time, then by now you should probably be able to recite the entire movie from start to finish which leads us to the conversation on which quotes are universally recognized as being the best. That said, today we are diving into the best Home Alone quotes from the first film. Ready? Cause we are. Let’s hop into our time machines and go back to the early 90s.
RELATED: 8 "Home Alone" Filming Locations To Check Out During the Holidays
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1. Gangster John
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"Merry Christmas ya filthy animals."
Truer words have never been spoken.
2. Linnie McCallister
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“You're what the French call 'les incompetents.”
Honestly, this might be my favorite quote from the movie. It's the way that Leslie says 'les incompetents" with the French accent that really just adds to the insult. Possibly the most memorable quote from the movie as well.
3. Kevin
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“...You can get beat up for wearing something like that. Yeah, I had a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas...”
Kevin was a hoot. This is one of the quotes that doesn't make sense, but it does if you get our drift.
4. Kate McCallister
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“KEVINNNN!”
If you're doing this correctly, then you should literally be able to hear Kate McCallister screaming "KEVINNN!" while envisioning the expression of horror on her face. If not, then you aren't doing this correctly.
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This is the expression of horror that we're talking about.
5. Kevin
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“Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.”
Aww. In the midst of having fun all by himself, Kevin realized that he actually did miss his family (and they too missed him even if they didn't want to admit it).
6. Kevin
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“Oh, wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate!”
7. Kevin
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“Why do I get treated like scum!”
Kevin kind of did get treated like a scum before they all left for the trip. Nobody was nice to him. Not one single person.
8. Kevin
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“You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?”
9. Kate
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“I don’t care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike! If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.”
10. Marv
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“Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?”
Neither Marv or Harry were particularly smart individuals, but Harry was by far the dumber of the two. Why Marv picked Harry to be his partner in crime exactly, we still don't know, but it didn't exactly workout in their favor. How do you get outsmarted by a kid? America's Worst Criminals.
11. Gangster Johnny
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"Hey, I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! One, two, 10!”
Did anybody else want to order a pizza and try this as a kid? Has anybody tried this? Don’t be afraid to admit it!
12. Buzz
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“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!”
Sibling of the Year right here ladies and gents.
13. Harry
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“I don’t get it. I mean, right now it looks like there’s nobody home. Last night the place was jumping. Something ain’t right.”
14. Kevin
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“Buzz, I’m reading through all your private stuff, you better come out and pound me!”
Every younger sibling that has ever existed in the history of ever.
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15. Harry
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“No, no, no, no, no. It’s Christmastime. There’s always a lot of burglaries around the holidays. So we’re just in the neighborhood to see if everyone’s taking the proper precautions. That’s all.”
16. Marley
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“You can say hello when you see me. You don’t have to be afraid.”-
17. Marv
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“Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?”
We're just putting this here once again to re-emphasize how stupid Marv and Harry were.
18. Kevin
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“I made my family disappear.”
18. Marley
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“You can be too old for a lot of things, but you’re never too old to be afraid.”
20. Jeff
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“Kevin, you are such a disease.”
21. Buzz
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"Beat that you little trout sniffer."
Image credit: 20th Century Studio
Sidenote: Kevin's facial expressions were hilarious.
22. Marv
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"Harry, it's our calling card! All the great ones leave their marks. We're the wet bandits!"
And yet, they didn't even get to leave a calling card because they were outsmarted by a kid. How did they even get out in time for Home Alone 2?
23. Harry
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“Merry Christmas little fella. We know that you're in there and that you're all alone.”
Did anybody else literally visualize this scene as they repeated the quote? Like you can literally see Marv and Harry standing outside the McCallister Home in the snow knocking.
24. Kevin
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"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?"
25. Kevin
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"Buzz! Your girlfriend. Woof!"
26. Kevin
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“Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.”
Hey you've got to give Kevin some credit here. He went to the grocery store all by himself, was able to make it work in terms of the paying for the groceries, dropped all of them in the middle of his walk home because they weren't double bagged (which speaking from personal experience sucks), and prepared his own meal (even if it was microwaveable). Kevin McCallister was one resourceful little dude.
27. Harry
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“All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage.”
Harry the "Wet Bandit" for genius of the year.
28. Frank McCallister
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“You better not wreck my trip, you little sourpuss. Your dad is paying good money for it.”
Ain't nothing like a free trip. And who wants a free trip spoiled?
29. Kevin
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“I went shopping yesterday... I got you milk, eggs, and fabric softener.”
All of us when we become adults, and are forced to do our own grocery shopping without our parent’s grocery lists. Kevin did well, and it shows that he pays attention even when his family doesn't think he does.
30. Kevin
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"I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap...including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed."
31. Leslie McCallister
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"Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi."
If you close your eyes and listen intently, then you should be able to hear this quote as well.
32. Kevin
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“This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house.”
33. Kevin
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"I don't want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed."
This is one of our favorites because if you have a large family, then you’ve definitely had to room with somebody on a trip/gathering/slumber party, and typically the youngest gets the “least desirable option.”
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34. Brooke McCallister
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"Mom, does Santa Clause have to go through customs?"
Does Santa Clause have to go through Customs? He probably does if he's traveling the country right? Or maybe not? Does Santa even have a passport? Brooke brought up a good point!
35. Kevin
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“Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I was making ornaments out of fishhooks.”
36. Uncle Frank
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"Look what you did you little jerk."
*Everybody looking at Kevin with a disapproving face*
37. Kevin
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"Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish!”
