The 32 Best One-Liners From Bridesmaids

The Bridesmaids cast is so stacked with comedy legends including Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Melissa McCarthy, and the Oscar-nominated script is so good that a vast majority of it is quotable. Ever since its release in 2011, people have been laughing over the amazing one-liners from this comedy about a woman who is trying her darndest to be a good maid of honor. Now, it’s time to go over some of the best quotes from this seriously iconic comedy from Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo.

Help me, I’m poor. -Annie

The second time Annie infiltrates the first-class cabin, she is promptly approached by the flight attendant, and she tries to claim she’s not her, in fact, she’s actually meant to be in the seat she stole. However, the attendant isn’t buying it, and when he tries to get her out again, one of her last resorts to get into first class is to say “Help me, I’m poor,” in the funniest little voice.

I'm not going to say I survived, I'm going to say I thrived. -Megan

After we meet Megan and find out she’s recovering from falling off a cruise ship, she reassures Annie and the audience by saying she “survived.” Then she doubles down, saying that while she “hit a lot of railings” and a dolphin saved her through a telepathic connection she’s thriving.

It's just... it's the first time I've ever seen you look ugly. And that makes me kind of happy. -Annie

As Annie and Helen look for Lillian, they have the sweetest moment they’ve ever had, despite the fact that it’s over Kristen Wiig’s character hilariously insulting Rose Byrne’s character by saying she looks ugly.

I look ugly? No I don't. I don't really look ugly. -Helen

In direct response to Annie telling her she’s an ugly crier, Helen immediately tries to stop the tears and deny the claim. It’s very on-brand for Helen, and now that she and Annie are on OK terms, it makes this moment super funny.

Do you want to tell a cop about it? We're just like priests except we would tell everybody afterwards. -Rhodes

After a rough night, Annie runs into Rhodes at a gas station, and he uses this charmingly odd line to ask if she wants to talk about what’s been going on in her life, and it works!

I’m ready to party! -Annie

Drunk, and feeling way better than she did a mere second before, Annie infiltrates first class to see Lillian and Helen. She’s relaxed, excited, and “ready to party!” And I think it’s safe to say this one-liner is one of the most iconic from Bridesmaids as it kicks off one of the funniest scenes in the movie.

You're more beautiful than Cinderella. You smell like pine needles, and you have a face like sunshine. -Becca

While incredibly drunk, Becca is trying to comfort Rita as they lament about their marriages. When Rita gets self-conscious, Ellie Kemper’s character retorts back with the silliest compliment that sounds like an inside joke from Parks and Recreation considering the way Leslie compliments Ann.

Why can't you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person? -Lillian

After a disastrous party, Lillian confronts Annie over her behavior. Wiig’s character can’t stand that her best friend is hanging out with Helen, and her actions that arise out of those emotions are what cause Maya Rudolph’s passionate reaction.

It's not a missing person until it's at least 24 hours. Have you ever seen CSI? Twenty-four hours. Let me get on with my job, Annie. -Rhodes

Lillian had been MIA for 12 hours, and Annie and Helen got very nervous. So, they found Rhodes and did everything they could to get him to pull them over. Once they finally got him to acknowledge them, the cop firmly explained, using a fantastic pop culture reference to prove his point, that they can’t file a missing person report until it’s been 24 hours.

I have to go to the bathroom but I heard about a woman who went to the bathroom on the plane - she got sucked into the toilet. Sucked right in. -Nervous Woman on the Plane

Upping Annie’s plane anxiety, and making everything 100% worse is the hilarious nervous flyer sitting next to her. Played by the co-writer of Bridesmaids and Wiig’s hilarious Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar, Annie Mumolo, this cameo is chaotically wonderful, it helps escalate the plane sequence, and it’s a great line about plane suspicions that I think many have pondered at one point or another.

Lillian and I took Spanish together in school. And so, I would just like to say to you and to everyone here, "Gracias para vivar en la casa, en la escuelas, en... en la azul... "marcada". Tienes con "bibir" en las Fortuashla?" and gracias! -Annie

Attempting to one-up Helen’s speech, Annie takes the stage. After they go back and forth for a while, and Helen speaks in French to Lillian, Annie recites what she learned in high school Spanish in an attempt to best her. However, it’s just a bunch of gibberish as she strings words like house, school, and blue together while trying to remember her Spanish vocabulary.

We would like to invite you to no longer live with us. -Brynn

Before we knew Rebel Wilson for her movies like Pitch Perfect and Senior Year, she had a small role in Bridesmaids playing Annie’s housemate. While she wasn’t the one paying rent, she was the one to ask Wiig’s character to move out.

I wouldn't want to make you explain what our relationship is to all those people. That would suck for you. -Ted

Kristen Wiig’s Annie is in an on-again, off-again relationship…sort of…with Jon Hamm’s Ted. When she asks if he wants to go to Lillian’s wedding with her, he has the worst but also hilarious response.

I took nine. I took nine. Yeah. I did slightly overcommit to the whole dog thing. It turns out I'm probably more comfortable with six. -Megan

Listen, Megan couldn’t get enough of the puppies, and she had to take them all home with her. However, as she said, nine might have been too many.

'Stove' what kind of a name is that? -Annie

As Annie finally leaves first class, she confronts the flight attendant, named Steve, and she calls him Stove. She then promptly explains that that is not a good name, which leads to Steve correcting her, and her asking him if he’s an appliance, to which he hilariously responds “No I’m a man, and my name is Steve.”

Hello, Helen. I've heard... wonderful things. -Rhodes

Putting on a fake smile for a myriad of reasons, Rhodes realizes that the Helen he’s just been introduced to is the one who has been at the center of Annie’s issues for the whole movie. So, he sarcastically says the line above, and let me tell you, it’s pitch-perfect delivery.

It's a good tub. I slept there for my 30th birthday. -Annie

Lillian was freaking out about getting married, and she was specifically upset about leaving her apartment. So, while comforting her friend and listening as she listed off all the things she would miss, Annie chimed in when the bathtub was mentioned, reciting the fantastic line above.

You're like the maid of dishonor. -Rhodes

Considering how poorly most of the events for Lillian’s wedding went, I can’t say this comment from Rhodes is wrong about Annie.

This is such a stone-cold pack of weirdos, and I am so proud! -Lillian

Before things get gross in the bridal shop, the ladies have what they think is a nice lunch. Lillian shows her love for all of them by toasting her bridesmaids and saying they’re “a stone-cold pack of weirdos.”

No one can get anywhere in 3 seconds. You're setting me up for a loss already. -Annie

On his last nerve, the flight attendant tells Annie she needs to book it out of first, and she makes it very clear to him that the expectation he’s set is impossible to meet.

This is kind of high-octane stuff that really made me want to become a cop. Missing girl found at her apartment. It's adrenaline-pinching. -Rhodes

Somehow delivering the line with both sarcasm and sincerity, Rhodes reacts to the news that Lillian is simply just in her apartment brilliantly. After low-key being tormented by Annie as she tried to get his attention, once they found Lillian, he had every right to be annoyed, but we got this sweet yet dry line instead. It’s perfect.

I fell off a cruise ship, but I'm back. -Megan

Bridesmaids is easily one of Melissa McCarthy’s best movies, and she proved that from the jump by having one of her first lines be about her trip that involved falling off a cruise ship.

Excuse me, um, could I have a glass of alcohol when you get a chance? -Becca

While on the plane, Becca, a very wholesome gal, is having a conversation with Rita about her marriage and love life. In the middle of that conversation, a flight attendant comes by asking if they want a drink, and not really knowing what alcoholic beverage to order, Ellie Kemper’s character just says she’ll take “a glass of alcohol.”

I’m glad he’s single, ‘cause I’m gonna climb that like a tree. -Megan

After asking the guy standing next to Annie if he’s her fella, Megan is told that the man is not with Annie, and quickly after that, Melissa McCarthy’s character is relieved because she wants him.

They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. -Rita

As a mom of boys, Rita is very clear that while they’re cute when they’re babies, they are gross as they get older. After this line, she continues to go on and on, and it’s safe to say that she’s over living with them.

I feel bad for your parents. -Annie

At Annie’s job, she gets into quite a verbal battle with a teen. While the kid is just as vicious, Annie is the one who gets in trouble for saying things like this funny and lethal line above, and ultimately she gets fired.

I’m telling you, hitting bottom is a good thing. Because there’s nowhere to go but up. -Annie’s Mom

By reciting a lesson she learned at AA, which she’s not an alcoholic, Annie’s mom tries to give her daughter advice by saying that being at rock bottom only gives her room to grow.

That dress is so pretty, it makes my stomach hurt. -Megan

Arguably, one of the reasons Bridesmaids earns its hard R-rating is the wedding dress store scene that devolves into the infamous bathroom moment, and it all begins when the girls realize they have stomach aches, and Megan says this funny line.

Hold on for one more day. -Wilson Phillips

With one more hysterical surprise up her sleeve, Helen brings Wilson Phillips out to sing “One More Day” after Lillian and Dougie say I do. Meanwhile, Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph, who proved their physical comedy skills as part of SNL’s best casts, hilariously emphasized their comedy genius again by ending the movie lip-syncing during the performance, and it’s impossible to not walk out of this movie humming the tune.

This should be open ‘cause it’s called civil rights. This is the ‘90s. -Annie

The first time Annie leaves first class, she opens the curtain separating those seats from the economy seats. As she’s heading back she also memorably tells the flight attendant why the classes of the plane shouldn’t be separated by claiming it’s an issue of civil rights that shouldn’t happen because it’s “the ‘90s,” which it isn’t, this movie came out in 2011, making the line even funnier.

Physically, I don’t bloat. It’s a gift. -Megan

As they’re enjoying lunch, Helen isn’t eating meat because she doesn't want to bloat. However, for Melissa McCarthy’s character, that’s not an issue, and the way she lets everyone know is fantastic.

Don’t you dare laugh. -Lillian

The second Lillian walks out in her wedding dress, looking defeated, she tells Annie she’s not allowed to laugh at the giant poof of a gown. However, Kristen Wiig’s character can’t hold it in, and neither can Maya Rudolph’s and they both end up cracking up, even though she said not to.

While Bridesmaids terrified director Paul Feig, because a comedy like it really hadn’t been made before, the film proved to be a classic. To this day, many of these amazing quotes are still talked about, and it’s impossible not to laugh at them.