The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Dec. 4-10)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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Just saw someone describe crypto as 'Mary Kay for young men' and now I'm dying.
— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) December 6, 2021
me: I am crushing this workout class
the instructor seconds after they walked by me: general reminder to everyone to try and push yourselves today— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) December 8, 2021
Them: You've heard of Elf on the Shelf but have you heard of--
Me: NO! NO! I HADN'T 'HEARD' OF ELF ON THE SHELF THEY JUST APPEARED ONE DAY WITH EVERYONE ACTING LIKE THEY'RE SOME ANCIENT CHRISTMAS TRADITION BUT THEY'RE NOT. WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?? WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM US???— Laura Shortridge-Scott 💙🎄⛄ (@DiscordianKitty) December 7, 2021
Hey, in case you weren’t already feeling old today, I just heard an intern say they loved Succession’s “new weekly drop model” and that it was a smart way to get people hooked.
— Jen Richards (@SmartAssJen) December 8, 2021
sometimes u walk through the toddler section of target and see an outfit you’d like to wear and that’s just what kind of day it is
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) December 7, 2021
whenever I see the number 72 or 36 I think “damn these are some of the hottest celebs from the 12 times table”
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) December 8, 2021
The wax lady put numbing cream on my coochie and I was like “don’t you kinda wish you could put that stuff on ur whole body and be completely numb” and she said “what?” :(
— raina (@quakerraina) December 7, 2021
Woman doing therapy on zoom in the coffee shop said she has trouble asserting herself. No you don’t queen!
— Maggie Crane (@MargaretKCrane) December 7, 2021
What’s a non-covid reason that you like wearing a mask for? Mine is that it hides my mouth-breathing on long flights of stairs.
— Adios Bitchachos (@MafiosoRo) December 6, 2021
$16 bottle of wine: outrageous. what am i, a prince?
$16 cocktail: I guess this seems about right— trash jones (@jzux) December 6, 2021
My boyfriend does this really annoying thing where sometimes, he doesn’t say word-for-word what I want him to say
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) December 5, 2021
when the takeout you ordered for yourself includes 4 sets of utensils pic.twitter.com/bhrBJsYf5m
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) December 7, 2021
2022 is gonna be my year to talk about how 2023 is gonna be my year
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) December 6, 2021
u wanna be horny? the thing that killed romeo and juliet?
— maddy rose fellows (@mabbylmao) December 7, 2021
i still use pinky promises as a legit form of trust
— 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩 (@stfutoxica) December 5, 2021
God having a cat is soooooo fun it feels like im being haunted by a sweater
— helena (@freshhel) December 8, 2021
If you’re going through a breakup you’re literally allowed to act so crazy …you can be like “I am digging a tunnel. It will go from Pasadena to the White House” and your friends will be like “good ❤️ I’m here ❤️”
— dylan gelula (@DylanGelula) December 5, 2021
no one:
parents after typing for 5 mins : "ok" "👍🏽"— ✧✧Mildred✧✧ (@Mildsexyy) December 9, 2021
it’s interesting how no one has taken me ice skating this season? held my hand (in adorable mittens) and laughed at me when I fell over? bought me a hot chocolate and commented on how cute my nose is when it’s red from the cold? seems fucked up but okay
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) December 8, 2021
“last pic of your dog in your camera roll NO CHEATING!!!!” what are we doing? who’s cheating on this assignment
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) December 7, 2021
This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.