The 20 best lines from the election episode of Succession
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WARNING: This story contains spoilers for Succession season 4, episode 8.
It was presidential election night on Sunday's episode of Succession. That meant a frantic few hours for Matthew Macfadyen's cable news chief Tom Wambsgans... and pretty much every other character on the show, as Jeremy Strong's Kendall, Sarah Snook's Shiv, and Kieran Culkin's Roman collectively sacrificed the notion of democracy in an attempt to achieve their own ambitions. Written by Succession creator Jesse Armstrong, the result was an hour of TV packed with hilarious, dramatic, and pungent dialog. But which bon mots won the night in a manner that Alan Ruck's Connor will never know? Find our selection of the show's best lines below.
HBO Matthew Macfadyen in 'Succession'
"I danced with an old man. He didn't want to dance but they made us dance. He was so confused."
Greg (Nicholas Braun) tells Tom about his night out with Lukas Matsson (Alexander Skarsgård).
"I drank things that aren't normally drinks."
Another tidbit from Greg about his big night out.
"Information, Greg, it's like a bottle of fine wine. You store it, you hoard it, you save it for a special occasion, and then you smash someone's f---ing face in with it."
Tom shares some wisdom with Greg.
"It's fun. My team's playing your team. It's only spicy because if my team wins, they're going to shoot your team."
Roman, who is supporting the Republican candidate Jeryd Mencken (Justin Kirk), to Shiv, who is rooting for the Democrat nominee Daniel Jiménez (Elliot Villar).
"Who watches the Watchmen? I f----ing do!"
Shiv rewrites Watchmen author Alan Moore.
"If I lose, I want it correctly characterized as a huge victory."
Mencken to Roman.
"Greg, I have to be clear, I have to. If I get drowsy, and I miscall Colorado, instability, right? The US loses credibility, China spots an opportunity, invades Taiwan. Tactical nukes. F---in' s--- goes kablooey and we're back to amoeba. It's a long way back from pond life because you failed to get me a double shot. Okay?"
Tom possibly overstates the importance of Greg getting him a coffee.
"Greg, it's medically good for your brain. It is. What are you saying, all Aztecs are stupid? Don't be a racist little bitch about it, come on."
Tom tries to persuade Greg to snort some cocaine.
"I want you Gregging for me. You're busted back down to Greg tonight."
Tom demotes Greg.
"Maybe everyone voted for me. We don't know!"
Connor remains optimistic about his electoral chances.
"So glad I didn't drop out. It just makes an election so much more interesting, when you're in it."
More from Connor.
"It was complicated, but sometimes you certainly hated him, and you also sort of killed him."
Tom gets down to brass tacks with Shiv about her relationship with her father.
"Is that even true? Like, is that even true? Or is that like a new position or a tactic? Or what?"
Tom responds poorly to Shiv telling him she's pregnant.
"I spent like a hundred mill here. Couldn't I get a sniff of even a little guy? Organize a little coup down in old Peru? Put me in a van to Tajikistan? Couldn't I just be our fun guy in Uruguay?"
Connor tries to secure an ambassadorship via the power of rhyme.
"I am going to the bathroom to s---. Would you like me to livestream it?"
Roman keeps Shiv in the loop.
"How about I offer for you to keep all your internal organs on your insides rather than I pull them out your a--hole?"
Shiv makes Greg an offer he can't refuse
"Greg! Do not put any more lemon water or wasabi in his eyes, okay?"
Tom warns Greg not to further damage the ocular apparatus of the ATN elections expert (Adam Godley).
"Connor was running for president?"
Frank (Peter Friedman) reacts to Connor's concession speech.
"I f---ing asked you some real questions, Shiv. I wondered why you looked like a goose trying to s--- a house brick, you piece of dirt."
Kendall reacts to Shiv making a deal with Matsson behind his back.
"Tom, your phone, it's red hot, Tom. A lot of very important people want to scream at you."
Greg informs his boss about the feedback to ATN calling the election for Mencken.
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