111 Comebacks You Wish You Would've Come Up With
We rounded up the wittiest comebacks that Twitter and Reddit had to offer — scroll for some absolutely blistering burns.
1. This response that probably took that person’s ego down a notch:
2. This difference in perspectives:
3.This award-winning line:
Is that why, after he left, it lasted for 4 more years and I won an Emmy for Best Actor in a Comedy? https://t.co/VTE6g2yjZp
4.This generational burn:
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
5. This response that's worth a million bucks:
6. This detail-oriented mic drop:
7. This arithmetically accurate callout:
8.This animated response:
shrek grossed 484 million just so we’re clear https://t.co/GmuMK2Momz
9. This COVID-era comeback:
10. These subtle slights:
11. This reminder that we all have different standards:
12. This smooth burn:
13. This textbook comeback:
14. This distinction in demises:
15. This tweet that is all too relatable:
16. This very appropriate reference:
17. This math-forward myth buster:
18.This linguistic lash-out:
A lady just came up to me and said “Speak English, we are in San Diego.” So I politely responded by asking her “how do I say ‘San Diego’ in English?” The look of bewilderment on her face made it feel like a Friday.
19. This mind-blowing discovery:
20. This thread that got real, real fast:
21. This response that came full circle:
22. This comeback that points out there is no Pokémon Go Outside:
23.This mother of all burns:
My parents are replacing their coffee machine, which is 7 years old. Me: that’s not that old, I have sheets older than that.Mother: well perhaps your sheets aren’t getting as much action as our coffee machine.I’m going to need an ambulance.
24. This historically epic exchange:
25. This burn of biblical proportions:
26. This response that is just hilarious:
27. This patriotic mix-up:
28. This colossal comeback:
On dinosaurs from facepalm
29. This bear-ly endurable burn:
30.This simple *roast*:
31.This potentially market-changing remark:
Make smaller sizes https://t.co/doylinhwLt
32.This literal burn:
33.This exchange that antagonizes an animal:
34.This comment that brought the people together:
35.This deliciously clever response:
36.This decadent debate:
37.This (un)fortunate response:
38.This comeback, coming for your childhood:
39.This epic exchange:
40.This beautifully accented burn:
41.This thread that totally applies logic:
42.This relatable retort that is making you check your phone right now:
43.This response, in the name of defending animal mascots:
44.This crush-ing comeback:
45.This multilayered response:
46.This response that is just good math:
47.This comeback that is Sheer(an) genius:
48.This thread, with a scrumptious spellcheck:
49.This burn of many sizes:
50.This response by a user now taking personal requests:
51. This burn that keeps on burning:
52. This electrifying burn:
53. This horrifyingly accurate comeback:
54. This response that is just a good life lesson:
55. This response, rich in good points:
56. This burn that probably ruffled someone's feathers:
57. This comeback that speaks for a generation:
58. This unequivocal burn that points out systemic inequality:
59. This burn, baby, burn:
60. This burn filled with internet-era irony:
61.This *sick* burn:
my asian ass been eating leftover rice n dishes made by my mom, im doing just fine fam. dont bullshit https://t.co/9ZyaQxTr9C
62. This comeback that shows the importance of those magic words:
63. This apocalyptically epic comeback:
64. This remark with a religious exemption:
65. This comeback that probably will cause him to wear masks again:
66. This god-awful burn:
67. This comeback that will make someone get their vision checked:
68. This burn that cites history as its witness:
69. This record-breaking response:
70. This comeback by a consent hero:
71. This burn by a bookworm:
72. This subtle burn to a competitor — we definitely don't know which one:
73. This callout that should go *viral*:
74. This response that puts pets first:
75. This burn that doesn't require a calculator:
76. This good Christian comeback:
77. This response that got personal:
78. This spirited comeback:
79. This eye-for-an-eye exchange:
80.This response for the win:
Bit rich coming from a club that hasn't delivered since 1992... https://t.co/v2R2fLhcNq
81. This very well-earned burn:
82. This response that rained on someone's parade:
83. This response is just so simple, yet brilliant:
84.This response that shouldn't need to be said:
@d__rob12 Just following the guidelines advised by the organization made up of individuals who have dedicated their entire lives to studying diseases and how to control and prevent them. I promise they know more than you.
85. This more-than-fair comeback:
86. This hilarious response:
87. This Whitney quip:
88. This response that was just electric:
89. This burn that honestly kind of makes you hungry for Wendy's:
90. This unchivalrous comeback:
91. This reaction that will make you want to brush up on some light reading:
92. This bookish burn:
93. This response that begs one to pardon her French:
94.This honest comeback:
Walmart:can you pleasestop stealingfrom us?: Me: no 🥺 😎👉👈 💪🥋🤙 👖 /🍆\👞🧦 👟 👟
95. This very-much-needed reply:
96. This really rude retort:
97. This thread that puts everyone in their place:
98. This burn that is extremely relatable:
99.This cringeworthy comeback:
@fakeleny It’s called food
100. This response with a strategy:
101.This thread with artistic flair:
102. This unmasked gem of a response:
103. This burn that got appropriately personal:
104. This burn that includes a Bunsen burner:
105. This child-size comeback that packs a punch:
106.This response that points to a historic problem:
@IndieWire Nothing more appropriate to honor the Jurassic Park legacy than opening before you should
107. This comeback that makes you think:
108. This burn that deserves a chef's kiss:
109.This delicious McComeback:
it was 1997 i was outside McDonald's on Queen St age 15, an old lady barked "speak English" at a pair of young Korean men and without missing a beat one of them goes "OOooo i want a nice cup of TEA look at ME I'm ENGLISH i want to eat PLAIN TOAST" i miss him every single day
110. This brutal burn:
111.This comeback that proves mothers do know best:
Mom 2 seconds after giving me a task https://t.co/R4yrRkQgA4
This article contains content from Dave Stopera, Mike Spohr, Cates Holderness, Tessa Fahey, Daniella Emanuel, and Andy Golder. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.