Will Smith's 13 Best Wisecracks in the Original Independence Day, Ranked
What do you say about Independence Day 20 years later? That it kicked off the Michael Bay-ification of blockbuster movies by making explosions the real stars of the film (even though Michael Bay had little to do with it)? That it cemented Will Smith as a star and went on to gross over $300 million domestically? You could just say that it's a really solid action sci-fi film.
Much of that credit goes to Will Smith (Captain Steve Hiller), whose charisma and chemistry with his various costars elevated Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich's dialogue (depending on which version of the screenplay you read, it seems like Smith and costar Jeff Goldblum (David Levinson) did a lot of riffing) to something approaching the level of the film's groundbreaking (and Oscar-winning) visual effects.
So with the second installment of the film just out, and a third already greenlit, let's examine some of Smith's better contributions to the film. (We're doing a lot of this without clips or GIFs, because they're weirdly scarce, so let's assume you're familiar with the film. If not, go watch it right now.)
13. "Didn't I promise you fireworks?"
This is the last line of the film, and it's a call-back to the fireworks that Smith's character gave Fox's character's son at the beginning of the film. However, I'm docking points because he's saying it as they're watching alien ships crash-land into Earth, which is almost assuredly doing irreversible damage to the already-ravaged world. Honestly, how we're even alive for a sequel is beyond me.
12.
STEVE: "Look, after your shift tonight, why don't you grab Dylan and come stay with me on base?"
JASMINE: "Really? You don't mind?"
STEVE: "Naw. I'll just tell my other girlfriends they can't come over."
Smith and Vivica A. Fox have some really nice chemistry. Most of it's just Will Smith being charming and Vivica A. Fox being beautiful.
11.Levinson: "You really think you can fly that thing?"
Hiller: "You really think you can do all that bulls--t you just said?"
This is a great wisecrack because Jeff Goldblum's character has just proposed using Windows 95 to give the alien computers a crippling virus, which is among the most implausible twists in all of film history, as if they – a race capable of interstellar light-speed travel and shields that protect their crafts from nuclear weapons – wrote the operating system for their computers using the same coding as Microsoft did in 1992 when they began designing Windows 95. Hiller, meanwhile, has proposed flying a recovered alien cruiser, which, considering he's been established as a top-notch pilot, seems less far-fetched than the thing Goldblum's character proposed.
10. "No, you did NOT shoot that green sh-- at me!"
Smith's character yells this at a pursuing alien fighter ship. It seems like an illogical threat to yell at an enemy who can't hear you and is literally from another world, but this was my favorite line from this movie when I first saw it. He just delivers it really well.
9. "I have got to get me one of these!"
A hilarious line in the film, but a deeply tragic one in retrospect, since digging through the sequel's website will reveal that Smith's character dies between the two films while test-flying a hybrid human-alien fighter pilot.
8. "You won't exactly need radar to find it."
Smith's character makes this joke during the initial briefing the Air Force is getting about the alien ships. They're big, get it? That's why this isn't a very good wisecrack, but it does set up "just a little anxious to get up there and whoop E.T.'s a--, that's all!" which is great. So it's kind of a twofer.
7. "I don't hear no fat lady."
Early on in the film, Smith's character's best Air Force buddy and he establish a ritual where they have cigars they smoke after victories. "Don't get premature on me, Jimmy," Smith warns his friend, thus ensuring he'll be killed in the ensuing battle, according to the rules of film cliches. "We don't light up until the fat lady sings." Then, later, he introduces Goldblum's character to the ritual, and the pair grow as friends. He says this as they're preparing to nuke the alien mothership instead of just giving up. It's a pretty nice moment.
6. "Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad ... and what the hell is that smell? I could've been at a barbecue!"
Probably more of a monologue than a wisecrack, but still very good nonetheless. He could have been at a barbecue. The whole world could have.
5. Levinson: "They're chasing us!"
Hiller: "Really, YOU THINK?"
Such crackling chemistry these two had. Smith is really good at being exasperated, and that, coupled with mid-'90's film and TV writers' obsession with incredulous/sarcastic responses, makes this a great wisecrack.
4. "PEACE!" Will Smith says this as the ship he and Goldblum have driven into the alien mothership is launching a nuclear missile into the alien mothership's control center. It's funny on a few levels: One, because "peace" was a briefly en vogue thing to say in the mid-'90s when you were leaving; and two, one of the aliens told the President that there could be "no peace" between our races. Get it? How he burns the aliens like that? Just great screenwriting.
3. Levinson: "They're bringing us in."
Hiller: "When the hell were you gonna tell me?"
Levinson: "Oops."
Hiller: "We're gonna have to work on our communication."
Just some more stellar banter. See, the ship that Goldblum and Smith have driven into the alien mothership is being pulled in by the larger ship's tractor beam, which Smith didn't know would happen. Earlier, Smith's character had a slight problem flying the recovered alien fighter, and he said "Oops" when he bumped it into a wall and Goldblum's character was put off by that. This wisecrack – from both characters – is a call-back to that scene. Again, just fantastic screenwriting.
2. "Now that's what I call a close encounter."
A stupendous line – because this film is operating in the postmodern '90s, when pop culture characters could themselves have awareness of and comment on other pop culture characters (e.g. Scream), and Smith references TWO separate films Steven Spielberg made about aliens ( E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and Close Encounters of the Third Kind), with different lines – AND it's preceded by one of the best lines in all of action movie history…
1. "Welcome to Earth!"
And no, it's not cool if you thought he said "Earf" He never said "Earf."
