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Michael Lohan

Whenever we wonder why Lindsay is the way she is, we remember that her father is Michael Lohan. In April, MiLo’s fiancée Kate Major called police after he violated the restraining order she had against him (because he physically attacked her last fall), but he ran off before the cops arrived. Despite the mandate to stay away from Major, somehow she got pregnant by Michael, which was revealed three months later in July. Assuming it wasn’t Immaculate Conception, the two broke the law and got together … because the world needs more Michael Lohan offspring. After his ex-wife Dina’s wacky, slurring interview with Dr. Phil in September, Michael couldn’t wait to sound off that she was drunk at the time. Weeks later, Michael was back to meddling with Dina when he secretly recorded a phone call from his daughter, during which she accused her mother of being high on cocaine, and then leaked it to the press – an action which led Lindsay to say she was done with her dad. But that didn’t stop Michael. On October 19, he claimed Lindsay was off the wagon and attempted to stage an intervention in Beverly Hills, but the “Liz & Dick” actress called police who shooed him away (days later, he tried to get a conservatorship of Lindsay, but failed at that, too). Finally, on November 15, it was revealed that Michael had fathered a daughter when he cheated on Dina in the mid-‘90s. And in typical Michael fashion, he did it all on TV in a Maury Povich-style paternity test on “The Tricia Goddard Show.”

Biggest Celebrity Turkeys of 2012

Lindsay Lohan, Octomom, and Hulk Hogan are just a few of the celebs who stuffed us full of their nonsense this year.