Sounds like Paula Deen may have been exaggerating when she called her 2013 Royal Caribbean "Cruise With Paula" her "most exciting party at sea ever." According to a series of (now-deleted) tweets from her personal assistant, Brandon Branch, the weeklong trip to Honduras, Belize, and Mexico didn't quite to live up to the hype.
"This is a floating nursing home!!!!" Branch complained on Jan. 27, the day the ship set sail from Galveston, Tex. "My room is also the size of my powder room at home. And no liquor in minibar! I am in a dark place!!!!"
That same day, he reached out to a friend for help. "Jim Hilderbrandt, start spinning, get in the invisible plane and rescue me!" he wrote. "I am in position! Lower the rope!!!!! You should be here with us! Everyone is 80 and up!"
Once his tweets started getting attention, however, Branch, who is also Deen's creative director, quickly changed his tune. He deleted the offending messages and remained quiet until Feb. 1, when he posted, "Having a fabo lunch at El Cid resort! I have always loved Mexico!! One more day at sea, then home. Been so much fun!"
Later, on Feb. 3, when the ship returned to port, he added: "Cruise is over. Had an amazing time. Made some great new friends. See y'all next cruise. Super Bowl party tonight."
This article originally appeared on Usmagazine.com: Paula Deen's Family Cruise Is a "Floating Nursing Home," Her Assistant Jokes