Kristin Chenoweth’s Guide to Making a Salad Is Extremely Relatable

Kristin Chenoweth, chef de cuisine (Photo: YouTube)

Do you ever yearn for the days when salad was just some iceberg lettuce and a heap of full-fat dressing? When salad was the “healthy option,” but only when the other options were a Bloomin’ Onion or a full pound of bacon? Kristin Chenoweth hears your cry.

Like a thief in the night, the Tony and Emmy winner uploaded to YouTube Tuesday what may well be her best performance of all time. In just over a minute, Chenoweth teaches us to make the perfect salad; it has four ingredients: bagged lettuce, shredded cheese, Italian dressing, and croutons.

How many times have we all been in our kitchen, maybe not not sober, rocking a Flashdance look and hungry for a snack? Kristin Chenoweth is all of us. And she’s here to help.

Step 1: lettuce. Who needs washing? Just pour that straight out of the bag.

Next you add cheese and dressing. Chenoweth prefers it pre-shredded, which, who doesn’t, and she advises not to go “chintzy on the cheese.” For dressing, Chenoweth prefers Olive Garden brand Italian dressing. We’ll allow that a moment to sink in.

Olive Garden. Italian dressing. Okay, let’s move on.

Extremely same, Kristin (Photo: YouTube)

Croutons can be difficult and Kristin understands your struggle. The key to a perfect salad, Kristin says, is to “stay in the family of Italian. You don’t want to be doing, like, a French crouton if you’re having, you know, Italian salad dressing.”

And boom, you’ve got the perfect salad. Take that, massaged kale and quinoa. As Kristin says, “Just sayin’.”