Jimmy Fallon's Mustache Just Isn't Growing On Me
Another solstice is behind us, and if Jimmy Fallon is to be believed, it's the #summerofstache. The typically clean-cut host of The Tonight Show has spent the past week sporting a mouth-brow that would make Magnum P.I. proud. It bears all of the hallmarks of a good mustache: thickness and full coverage, and trimmed to just the right length to preserve the aroma of powdered doughnuts long into the afternoon.
Unfortunately, I can't endorse the Jimstache.
Now I have nothing against a good 'stache. John Waters, Lionel Richie, and Freddie Mercury can't all be wrong. You could argue that some men even look better with one; case in point, Jeopardy! hasn't been the same since Alex Trebek abandoned that magnificent crumb catcher. And when Donald Glover debuted his own back in December, Esquire praised the message it sent: the games are over, and it's time to get serious.
So back to Jimmy. Why does this latest follicular emission feel more like another Tonight Show skit than an authentic, no-fucks-given rejection of the stubble, beards, and baby-faces of the status quo? Maybe it's because that's exactly what it is. As one mustachioed friend put it, "It's a lifestyle, not a costume." The 'stache doesn't work unless the wearer truly commits, and like a pizza slice tattoo or an ugly sweater party, we can't shake the feeling that it's all just a gimmick to Jimmy. Hashtagging it certainly doesn't help.
Only time will tell, but even if it is all a gimmick, it's working: for the first time in several weeks, Tonight Show ratings have eclipsed Colbert, putting Jimmy back on top of the 11:35 p.m. slot. Maybe committing to the 'stache wouldn't be the worst idea after all.
As for the rest of you aspiring mustache-growers-or Schnurrbartträgers, because, yes, Germans have a word for that-be sure to consult the Esquire grooming guide and please, make sure your partner is cool with it first. Courtesy counts.
You Might Also Like
