Holly Madison Recalls ‘Embarrassing and Humiliating’ Way Benji Madden Relationship Ended

Photo: Ryan Astamendi

Holly Madison’s new book is filled with lots of juicy stories … and we’re not talking about Kendra Wilkinson.

“I was inspired to write about a really fun period in my life, but also a period in my life when I was out and about as a single woman, was dating like a normal person … it was a really exciting time,” she tells Yahoo Celebrity about The Vegas Diaries. “There were a lot of things I wanted to get across, but I think the main thing was how special our time as single women is. I think a lot of times women go through life looking for ‘the one,’ and we forget to look for ourselves along the way. That was what was extra special about this time in my life.”

Following her split from Hugh Hefner, The Girls Next Door alum swapped Los Angeles for Vegas and had a couple of high-profile romances, dating magician Criss Angel and musician Benji Madden.

(Photo: Ryan Astamendi)

While we heard Holly’s thoughts on Criss in her last headline-making book, Down the Rabbit Hole, she looks back at her romance with the Good Charlotte rocker … uncomfortably.

Holly and Benji began hanging out when she was shooting her reality show Holly’s World, and producers were eager to capture the two on camera.

“When producers caught wind of the rumors and asked me about Benji, I told them that I wasn’t comfortable asking him to be on the show … they wouldn’t drop the subject,” she writes. “One particular higher-up made me feel like s***, telling me, ‘If this guy cares about you at all, he should have no problem being on your television show.’”

Holly explains that she refused to get Benji involved, much to the dismay of E! execs. Apparently, producers were threatened with being fired if they didn’t get Holly to say his name on camera. “They simply refused to let it go,” she says.

Remember when Holly was Team Benji? (Photo: FAMEFLYNET PICTURES)

“The last time I had heard from Benji, he revealed to me that ‘my people’ (not sure who, but I have my suspicions) reached out to ‘his people,’ asking him to appear on my show. I was shocked … I insisted I hadn’t been behind the request and that it hadn’t mattered to me if he appeared on the show or not,” she says.

It also apparently didn’t matter enough to Benji, because the relationship ended there.

“The reason I included the [Benji] story is because it was super embarrassing for me,” she tells us about why she chose to share that tale in her new book. “I had a great time doing Holly’s World and everything, but it was one of the moments where I really felt betrayed and kind of like I wasn’t being treated like an adult, or like I was in charge in any way. The whole debacle was just super embarrassing and humiliating for me, and it made me extra careful.”

So is she hoping Benji will learn from her book what really happened years ago?

“I think everybody gets it and everybody has moved on from it,” she says. “It was just a story I felt was worth sharing because it’s sort of the other side of the looking glass when it comes to doing reality TV. … I think there are so many people out there who think that reality TV is just candid camera, and it’s really not.”

Holly and Benji each got their own happily ever after. The Good Charlotte rocker is married to Cameron Diaz, and Holly is expecting her second child with her husband, Pasquale Rotella, founder of the Electric Daisy Carnival.

Holly found true love with Pasquale Rotella. (Photo: Denise Truscello/Getty Images for Keep Memory Alive)

As for Pasquale, 41, Madison says he “doesn’t really care” that she’s writing about her wild days after moving to Las Vegas.

“He’s totally supportive of me,” she says. “The crazy thing about being in the public eye is that the rumors that are out there are almost always worse than real life. So when you put the truth out there — there can definitely be some shocks and some surprises — but it’s never as crazy as people think.”

Holly and Pasquale have a 3-year-old daughter, Rainbow, and will welcome a son this year.

Holly loved the flowers and goodies she received from her daughter, Rainbow, and husband, Pasquale, on Mother’s Day. (Photo: Instagram)

“[This] pregnancy is a little different. It’s not as easy as it was with my daughter,” she says with a laugh. “I’m definitely not craving healthy food. I just end up eating a lot of bland carbs because everything just grosses me out. My back hurts, I have this book tour I’m doing next week … each [pregnancy] is a unique experience!”

As for whether they’ll top Rainbow with another unique name, Holly admits they don’t know yet.

“My husband and I are still trying to narrow down choices,” she shares. “I could name girls for days, but I don’t have a lot of boy names I’m super excited about, so we’ll see what we come up with.”

Pick up a copy of The Vegas Diaries: Romance, Rolling the Dice, and the Road to Reinvention when it comes out on May 17.