We all spend a lot of time pondering the meaning of life. Let's take a break and ponder the meaning of Jessica Simpson's Valentine's Day tweet:
Confounding! The billionaire shoe empress and fiancee of Eric Johnson -- former NFL athlete, current reader of many books -- teases us so. This tweet is so cryptic we cannot even begin to decipher its meaning. We can only make wild speculation. Our analysis leads us two directions: A) Jessica is 9 1/2 weeks pregnant or B) Jessica and Eric spent V-day cuddling on the couch to watch Mickey Rourke's 1986 sex romp.
(Her publicist did not immediately respond to our request for comment.)
Meanwhile, Jessica's Twitter has been mysteriously quiet -- too quiet.