Billy Bush Struggles To Make Sense of Eva Longoria-Tony Parker Divorce Report

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Shockwaves were sent through the blogosphere this afternoon when TMZ reported that San Antonio Spur Tony Parker had filed for divorce from his wife of three years, "Desperate Housewife" Eva Longoria. "Tony Parker" shot up into Twitter's Trending Topics, civilians broke down in tears on the street, etc.

And no one was more saddened by the news than "Access Hollywood" anchor Billy Bush. Responding to a tweet from one of his followers asking breathlessly if the rumor was true ("R they really divorcing?" @miranda2z queried), Bush retweeted and answered: "Sad but true..."

Bush was then briefly distracted by an Ashton Kutcher TMZ parody released earlier today, before he returned to the Longoria-Parker saga, apparently having received a call from Longoria's publicist.

"WAIT!" he began this next tweet, with great, capitalized urgency, "Eva Longoria's rep just got back and said NOT true." As his 54,906 followers no doubt recoiled at this surprise twist, Bush continued: "I feel badly about the 'sad but true'... we just re-taped some stuff. We'll see"

Yes, that's right, a regretful Bush was so flustered he couldn't even finish his thought.

Eight minutes later, probably after taking an Advil and placing a cold compress on his head, his mind spinning with confusion and shock, Bush returned to Twitter, now placing blame on TMZ: "Not true. Poor eva... TMZ is so eager to report bad news, its most sad. Reclaim Hollywood!"

At this point, for the general internet-devouring population, it was tough to know who to believe here: the "Access Hollywood" anchor with an apparent penchant for strange catch phrases, or the (we must admit, generally reliable) news source. WERE EVA LONGORIA AND TONY PARKER GETTING DIVORCED OR NOT???

Minutes later, the answer became clear when TMZ changed their story (a move Bush, of course, gleefully noted), citing a denial from Longoria's rep.

Bush wasn't finished gloating, though, tweeting a final word on the matter: "San Antonio clerk just said NO divorce filing exists... sealed or unsealed. Reclaim Hollywood!"

Mystery solved, finally: for Bush and for the world. Tuesday, November 16: the day on which, for at least half-an-hour, we all were Billy Bush.