Jimmy Kimmel Threatens to ‘Off the Hoff’ If Justin Bieber’s Monkey Isn’t Returned

Jeremy Blacklow
omg! Celeb News

Jimmy Kimmel is not too happy that the German government has confiscated Justin Bieber's monkey, and last night he announced that he's ready do something about it. If the monkey's not returned, the late-night talk show host has now threatened to off David Hasselhoff!

"After two weeks of negotiations, the Justin Bieber monkey crisis has come to head tonight," Kimmel began.

"On March 28, a monkey owned by angelic pop music sensation Justin Bieber, was confiscated by German authorities. They said he didn’t have the right paperwork, so they took his monkey -- a monkey name Mally -- put it in quarantine … and they've been holding Mally captive now for 15 days. All this monkey wants is to be back where it belongs; in the glove compartment of Justin Bieber's Ferrari, wearing a tank top and a sideways hat … but it can't do that."

So, what was Kimmel's response to the German government?

He demanded that if Mally was not returned to Bieber by today, he would "have no choice but to kill David Hasselhoff."

Hasselhoff, of course, is a huge pop star in Germany, which is easily one of the more bizarre phenomena of modern pop culture times.

"I told Germany I was going to off the Hoff … and they scoffed!" Kimmel joked.

The camera then switched to the former "Baywatch" star, who was blindfolded in an alluring open bathrobe, begging for his freedom.

"My name is David Hasselhoff," he began. "I am being held …. Hoff-stage. Fifteen days ago, agents of Jimmy Kimmel kidnapped me, brought me to this hotel room, bound me up, tied me to this chair, and put the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door. He says, if we don't return Justin Bieber's monkey, he will OFF the HOFF!"

What happens from there?

You'll have to watch the video above to find out!

More Celebrity Features on Yahoo!: