Q: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have finally divorced after two years of separation. What took so long?
A: That may seem like a long span in regular-people years, but these aren't regular people.
"Two years is not a long time for a celebrity divorce," family law attorney Steve Mindel tells omg!. Consider: Kimora Lee Simmons took two years just to file for divorce after initially announcing her separation from music mogul Russell in 2006. Kim Kardashian's divorce from Kris Humphries took a year and a half. Heather Mills and Paul McCartney's divorce took about two years to work out; ditto with Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
As for what could have kept Moore and Kutcher from splitting more quickly, Mindel says we're likely looking at two factors: money and just generally being pissed off.
First the money. Mindel suspects that Moore may have wanted to take her time to see how much income Kutcher would rake in via his "Two and a Half Men" gig and then craft a spousal support demand around whatever intel she got. Indeed, according to gossips, Moore had been seeking some manner of spousal support from Kutcher.
Let's also remember that Kutcher has been investing heavily in tech companies over the past several years; there's a chance that Moore had been spending some time hiring investigators to look into those assets, too.
However, the bid for support failed; Moore will apparently walk away with a share of the property she and Kutcher acquired during the marriage, and that's about it.
The other reason why this divorce seemed to drag out? We'll let Mindel handle this part all by himself.
[Related: Most Expensive Celeb Splits Ever!]
"Her wanting to punish him for having an affair probably is the most likely scenario here — making him commit adultery every time he sees his new girlfriend," Mindel suspects.
Makes sense to us. Hell hath no fury, yadda yadda.